(no subject)
Some tough deciding came my way yesterday. I’ve been offered my old job in Sydney with two conditions:
* a payrise that takes me considerably above what I’m earning here
* flexible starting date which means I can stay here for the rest of the year and live it up London style
I’m not really feeling a good fit over here so far. Add that to the financial considerations, and it is a black and white decision - trade in the substandard life for more cash. I wish it was that straight forward.
The problem is that this decision will be more final than the one I made to come here. I’d be throwing away my chance to settle here. It would take time to establish roots here and it won’t be possible if I cut and run. Then there is also the issue that I’d be throwing away my chances of citizenship and the implications that has on settling elsewhere in Europe. But I guess that’s ridiculous to worry about, given that I’d need to be here for 5 years+ for that to be a possibility anyway.
I just don’t want to regret turning my back on making a go of this place. That’s a big decision.
I’ve really got to work out what I don’t like about this place once I take the melodrama out. I’ve also got to work out why I’d want to go back to Australia when the romance of the place from this side of the world is ignored. Then there are questions of what I’d be missing out on if I did return, because there are some pretty cool things about living here. Once they go, there is no getting them back. Ignoring them now while I wallow in my own self-pity is one thing, but saying I never want them is quite another.
My gut feeling is that the standard of living over here is pretty shitty. Cheap flights don’t make your life worthwhile, especially when it is so hard to get away from the stress of work (let alone get away physically). Most people seem to dislike living here, if not hate it. It is a utilitarian city that people use for career. Any other utilitarian function seems ignored (for instance, why is it so hard to do your grocery shopping here???). The weather’s shit, it is expensive and the emphasis on work is overbearing (with all the flow on socioeconomic problems in tow).
I guess I’ve also got to work out if the reason I’m hesitating is because I’m associating turning around with a feeling that I’ve failed here. That is a real possibility and nobody likes feeling like they’ve failed.
Arrrgggghh. Lots of thinking to be done.
* a payrise that takes me considerably above what I’m earning here
* flexible starting date which means I can stay here for the rest of the year and live it up London style
I’m not really feeling a good fit over here so far. Add that to the financial considerations, and it is a black and white decision - trade in the substandard life for more cash. I wish it was that straight forward.
The problem is that this decision will be more final than the one I made to come here. I’d be throwing away my chance to settle here. It would take time to establish roots here and it won’t be possible if I cut and run. Then there is also the issue that I’d be throwing away my chances of citizenship and the implications that has on settling elsewhere in Europe. But I guess that’s ridiculous to worry about, given that I’d need to be here for 5 years+ for that to be a possibility anyway.
I just don’t want to regret turning my back on making a go of this place. That’s a big decision.
I’ve really got to work out what I don’t like about this place once I take the melodrama out. I’ve also got to work out why I’d want to go back to Australia when the romance of the place from this side of the world is ignored. Then there are questions of what I’d be missing out on if I did return, because there are some pretty cool things about living here. Once they go, there is no getting them back. Ignoring them now while I wallow in my own self-pity is one thing, but saying I never want them is quite another.
My gut feeling is that the standard of living over here is pretty shitty. Cheap flights don’t make your life worthwhile, especially when it is so hard to get away from the stress of work (let alone get away physically). Most people seem to dislike living here, if not hate it. It is a utilitarian city that people use for career. Any other utilitarian function seems ignored (for instance, why is it so hard to do your grocery shopping here???). The weather’s shit, it is expensive and the emphasis on work is overbearing (with all the flow on socioeconomic problems in tow).
I guess I’ve also got to work out if the reason I’m hesitating is because I’m associating turning around with a feeling that I’ve failed here. That is a real possibility and nobody likes feeling like they’ve failed.
Arrrgggghh. Lots of thinking to be done.