(no subject)
I feel stuck. I've been stuck in the same spot the past 2 years. Nothing has changed for the better or the worse. I need change, I love change.I feel like I need to do something durastic, something huge. I realized that I'm used by people that I considered to be my best friends.
I'm so fucking stupid.
Christina and laura spent every waking minute together last school year and I should have realized that when it got close to the last months of school that christina started to hang out with me for a reason. Laura goes away every summer to mexico, and she didnt want to be all alone during the summer, so she started spending time with me before the year ended so that it wouldnt be obvious that she wanted to hang out with me in the summer since laura would be gone. Well, I guess I didn't see it, or I didnt want to see it. But it's so blatant that since school has started that I'm now sitting on the back burner and left out of everything while they make plans and dont include me. It's fucking childish and lame. Seriously, just fucking tell me why you don't want to hang out with me, and dont use me during the summer since you're bored. Sorry, not my fucking fault.
I do love Bonnie though, and I'm happy that her boyfriend is finally coming back from Iraq in a week, but I'm also sad that now I will have absolutely no one to hang out with since she'll be preoccupied with him. Life will begin to suck as it did last year.
I can't wait to get the fuck out of California. Going back to Canada for college is looking very promising. I probably could get into the University of Windsor. I should do that. I really dont want to go to a junior college.
fuck life.
I want to be out of high school so badly. I hate most people, and I often feel like the only one somewhat mature. it's fucking lame.
I'm so fucking stupid.
Christina and laura spent every waking minute together last school year and I should have realized that when it got close to the last months of school that christina started to hang out with me for a reason. Laura goes away every summer to mexico, and she didnt want to be all alone during the summer, so she started spending time with me before the year ended so that it wouldnt be obvious that she wanted to hang out with me in the summer since laura would be gone. Well, I guess I didn't see it, or I didnt want to see it. But it's so blatant that since school has started that I'm now sitting on the back burner and left out of everything while they make plans and dont include me. It's fucking childish and lame. Seriously, just fucking tell me why you don't want to hang out with me, and dont use me during the summer since you're bored. Sorry, not my fucking fault.
I do love Bonnie though, and I'm happy that her boyfriend is finally coming back from Iraq in a week, but I'm also sad that now I will have absolutely no one to hang out with since she'll be preoccupied with him. Life will begin to suck as it did last year.
I can't wait to get the fuck out of California. Going back to Canada for college is looking very promising. I probably could get into the University of Windsor. I should do that. I really dont want to go to a junior college.
fuck life.
I want to be out of high school so badly. I hate most people, and I often feel like the only one somewhat mature. it's fucking lame.