It's been awhile...
I have been working all week. My schedule for this week was:
Monday, February 5: 9-5
Tuesday, February 6: 9-5
Wednesday, February 7: 9-5
Thursday, February 8: 9-5
Friday, February 9: 5-close, we close at 11
Saturday, February 10: OFF OF WORK!!! Anyone want to hangout?
Sunday, February 11: 5-close, we close at 10
Besides work, all I do is play sudoku and talk on the phone with Chris.
I actually do a lot of thinking. I think about how amazing my friends are. I think about things I have done that I should never of done, regrets. I have made decisions I will always regret. I have turned my back on myself. But there is no turning back. I have thought about school. I have thought about who I used to be and who I am now.
I feel like I havent seen Britni, Sam, Mack, JT, Bailey in months, it really has only been like a week and a half. But still, I have been so busy, and I cant drive so I havent seen them, I have hardly talked to them.
There is a lot of shit talking going on behind backs. It is pretty lame. I have thought about how mean I have been to some people. I am sorry, and I miss when I was friends with them. But at the same time I dont want to be fake. I dont want to hangout with them and be really sweet and friendly and I also dont want to be rude or mean. I feel bad for making mean comments and stupid phone calls.
I honestly want to work and sleep and eat, and be with Chris. I would love to be able to go to shows and hangout a lot like I had been doing but I have felt a little out of place. I feel like I am unwanted. Thats cool though because I like spending time with myself. I get to know myself. I learn what my flaws are and I work on them. There are quite a few right now. It is kind of like remodeling.
I got a raise and a promotion at work. I am now the assistant manager of Marble Slab, and I went from making $7.25 an hour, to making $8.50 an hour. I guess that's cool, my life is work now and it makes me feel like I am wasting away. But that is what we do, we waste away, spend days doing things that really dont matter. I work to make money to drive, to have a cell phone, to have gas. But the thing is I would rather work four times a week and have just enough money and have more time then work all the time and not have tme to spend the money I make. But I am merely a player on the stage and I will just go along with life.
Chris. Where do I begin? You are amazing, incredible, wonderful, fantastic, awesome, more than I could ask for. You are funny. You are cute. You are talented. You are everything I want. I am falling in love with you. This is exciting. It is an adventure. I hope this isnt embarassing for you. We need to buy a digital camera, and share it or something. that way we can take pictures when we are together. <3
To the world, and to my friends, as much as I like hanging out at home and playing sudoku, get me out and about, I feel like I am dead, I am not exciting and outgoing like usual. I love you guys, and I hope everyone is well.
Monday, February 5: 9-5
Tuesday, February 6: 9-5
Wednesday, February 7: 9-5
Thursday, February 8: 9-5
Friday, February 9: 5-close, we close at 11
Saturday, February 10: OFF OF WORK!!! Anyone want to hangout?
Sunday, February 11: 5-close, we close at 10
Besides work, all I do is play sudoku and talk on the phone with Chris.
I actually do a lot of thinking. I think about how amazing my friends are. I think about things I have done that I should never of done, regrets. I have made decisions I will always regret. I have turned my back on myself. But there is no turning back. I have thought about school. I have thought about who I used to be and who I am now.
I feel like I havent seen Britni, Sam, Mack, JT, Bailey in months, it really has only been like a week and a half. But still, I have been so busy, and I cant drive so I havent seen them, I have hardly talked to them.
There is a lot of shit talking going on behind backs. It is pretty lame. I have thought about how mean I have been to some people. I am sorry, and I miss when I was friends with them. But at the same time I dont want to be fake. I dont want to hangout with them and be really sweet and friendly and I also dont want to be rude or mean. I feel bad for making mean comments and stupid phone calls.
I honestly want to work and sleep and eat, and be with Chris. I would love to be able to go to shows and hangout a lot like I had been doing but I have felt a little out of place. I feel like I am unwanted. Thats cool though because I like spending time with myself. I get to know myself. I learn what my flaws are and I work on them. There are quite a few right now. It is kind of like remodeling.
I got a raise and a promotion at work. I am now the assistant manager of Marble Slab, and I went from making $7.25 an hour, to making $8.50 an hour. I guess that's cool, my life is work now and it makes me feel like I am wasting away. But that is what we do, we waste away, spend days doing things that really dont matter. I work to make money to drive, to have a cell phone, to have gas. But the thing is I would rather work four times a week and have just enough money and have more time then work all the time and not have tme to spend the money I make. But I am merely a player on the stage and I will just go along with life.
Chris. Where do I begin? You are amazing, incredible, wonderful, fantastic, awesome, more than I could ask for. You are funny. You are cute. You are talented. You are everything I want. I am falling in love with you. This is exciting. It is an adventure. I hope this isnt embarassing for you. We need to buy a digital camera, and share it or something. that way we can take pictures when we are together. <3
To the world, and to my friends, as much as I like hanging out at home and playing sudoku, get me out and about, I feel like I am dead, I am not exciting and outgoing like usual. I love you guys, and I hope everyone is well.