Yay! I'm super happy that you understand. And believe me, I ALWAYS feel bad when I do a cut, no matter how reasonably people react. Even when people are nice, like you and a few other people have been, I still feel awful. :[
Especially btw, a lot of people I added in a huge rush from ship wars, and/or trek fandom in general. When I was migrating there I picked up a whole batch of friends that maybe I didn't really click with, but they seemed new and shiny and idk, I guess I got carried away. And then I realized that it really was better if I cut them from the list, and it felt like I was returning something that didn't fit me. :/ WHICH IS SO HORRIBLE OMG.
Still the very basis of this cut was that I couldn't manage the list I had. I didn't know very well many of the people on there, I hadn't talked to them in a while, I didn't read their entries or comment on them like at all. And I finally decided that I'd much rather have a small flist that I can actually check every day and be close to, than a giant one that is just a number to brag about. :/
Does that make sense?
Also you know bbgirl, if you ever wanna chat outside of LJ, I'd totes be up for that. :3 Just lemme know where you're adding me, and what name to look for.
I think you´re really brave for doing it and believe me, I understand your reasons perfectly :)
Sometimes it feels I shouldn´t feel so bad about cutting, because not being able to manage the friendlist often feels horrible, too. A lot of time I feel like: "This person is really nice and I really should comment, but their interests are so different and I have nothing to say to the topic." But that´s usually preferable to: "Who is this person and when and why have I even added them?" That usually makes me wonder if I am a bad person.
I stopped adding people simply because they added me. But I am still close with - as close as one can be on LJ - only few people on my f-list... Which means it is really high time I cleaned the list... :(
Oh good, sometimes I feel like I don't make any sense at all.
Thank you sweetie!
I don't think that you shouldn't feel anything at all, because I don't think that's healthy. But I think you should allow yourself to feel bad. Like, yeah, this is an uncomfortable kind of sad thing, because these are people and it's possible that this will affect them in a negative way. But that's what life is. You make choices that may make other people 'feel bad'. You're not responsible for their feelings. A bit of regret, and 'feeling bad' for those people that you're affecting is okay, but it shouldn't ever stop you from making a necessary decision/choice. And you're most certainly not a bad person for having those sorts of thoughts. There are far worse thoughts to have.
That's a wise choice, I stopped doing that a while ago also. I suggest you do that list clean up and come talk to me again later. :] And tell me how it goes! Ilu dearheart~
Especially btw, a lot of people I added in a huge rush from ship wars, and/or trek fandom in general. When I was migrating there I picked up a whole batch of friends that maybe I didn't really click with, but they seemed new and shiny and idk, I guess I got carried away. And then I realized that it really was better if I cut them from the list, and it felt like I was returning something that didn't fit me. :/ WHICH IS SO HORRIBLE OMG.
Still the very basis of this cut was that I couldn't manage the list I had. I didn't know very well many of the people on there, I hadn't talked to them in a while, I didn't read their entries or comment on them like at all. And I finally decided that I'd much rather have a small flist that I can actually check every day and be close to, than a giant one that is just a number to brag about. :/
Does that make sense?
Also you know bbgirl, if you ever wanna chat outside of LJ, I'd totes be up for that. :3 Just lemme know where you're adding me, and what name to look for.
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I think you´re really brave for doing it and believe me, I understand your reasons perfectly :)
Sometimes it feels I shouldn´t feel so bad about cutting, because not being able to manage the friendlist often feels horrible, too. A lot of time I feel like: "This person is really nice and I really should comment, but their interests are so different and I have nothing to say to the topic." But that´s usually preferable to: "Who is this person and when and why have I even added them?" That usually makes me wonder if I am a bad person.
I stopped adding people simply because they added me. But I am still close with - as close as one can be on LJ - only few people on my f-list... Which means it is really high time I cleaned the list... :(
Reply
Thank you sweetie!
I don't think that you shouldn't feel anything at all, because I don't think that's healthy. But I think you should allow yourself to feel bad. Like, yeah, this is an uncomfortable kind of sad thing, because these are people and it's possible that this will affect them in a negative way. But that's what life is. You make choices that may make other people 'feel bad'. You're not responsible for their feelings. A bit of regret, and 'feeling bad' for those people that you're affecting is okay, but it shouldn't ever stop you from making a necessary decision/choice. And you're most certainly not a bad person for having those sorts of thoughts. There are far worse thoughts to have.
That's a wise choice, I stopped doing that a while ago also. I suggest you do that list clean up and come talk to me again later. :] And tell me how it goes! Ilu dearheart~
Reply
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