(no subject)
Im still going to post here. maybe i'll xpost to here and blogspot.
I just read audreys new post and when i read hers i like to listen to the same song she was listening to when she wrote it. It makes it easier. I miss audrey (i miss you) and i miss rachel (i miss you) and things should be/better be changing. You know? Things are changing
today was winter. It rained and then the sun came out and the wind blew my hair in circles around my head. last night i made turkey soup and thought about all the people who i wished i could share it with. Whenever A. writes it makes me think about what i want to say. peter wrote me a letter. A well organized letter. I recieved it like i usually do. Sitting down the closest spot, tearing it open. Hoping hes doing better, did better, or something has changed. I miss him too (i miss you.)
The letter was good, because he is a good writer, and because he is a good friend. and sometimes, i am not.
I am in that mood again. that go everywhere stay nowhere mood. Where i just want to keep on walking. to get on another plane. To see more and more familiar faces across the globe in different cities just the way that everyone always is. strewn.
The jenga tower that toppled, right, like in those stories i wrote last year.
It so strange the way a different place can make you feel.
the way waking up to grey skies is so much different then waking up to the sun.
Whats really wierd is not being able to be near people when you need them. I keep looking up and thinking about how different my apartment would be if the most important people were in it. If peter were watching TV with me on my couch, if audrey and rachel were huddled over a typewriter or a laptop computer. If dain and antonio were smoking pot and drinnking jack on the chairs that are pulled up by the fire. If melissa was leaning against my kitchen counter eating cereal from the box and aaron was leaning back against my knees and rubbing his palms against my shins. The whole house would be different. a different world. warm and new and exhiliratingly perfect.
i think i have tiny little heartattacks everytime i miss people
tiny little explosions in my viens.
I just read audreys new post and when i read hers i like to listen to the same song she was listening to when she wrote it. It makes it easier. I miss audrey (i miss you) and i miss rachel (i miss you) and things should be/better be changing. You know? Things are changing
today was winter. It rained and then the sun came out and the wind blew my hair in circles around my head. last night i made turkey soup and thought about all the people who i wished i could share it with. Whenever A. writes it makes me think about what i want to say. peter wrote me a letter. A well organized letter. I recieved it like i usually do. Sitting down the closest spot, tearing it open. Hoping hes doing better, did better, or something has changed. I miss him too (i miss you.)
The letter was good, because he is a good writer, and because he is a good friend. and sometimes, i am not.
I am in that mood again. that go everywhere stay nowhere mood. Where i just want to keep on walking. to get on another plane. To see more and more familiar faces across the globe in different cities just the way that everyone always is. strewn.
The jenga tower that toppled, right, like in those stories i wrote last year.
It so strange the way a different place can make you feel.
the way waking up to grey skies is so much different then waking up to the sun.
Whats really wierd is not being able to be near people when you need them. I keep looking up and thinking about how different my apartment would be if the most important people were in it. If peter were watching TV with me on my couch, if audrey and rachel were huddled over a typewriter or a laptop computer. If dain and antonio were smoking pot and drinnking jack on the chairs that are pulled up by the fire. If melissa was leaning against my kitchen counter eating cereal from the box and aaron was leaning back against my knees and rubbing his palms against my shins. The whole house would be different. a different world. warm and new and exhiliratingly perfect.
i think i have tiny little heartattacks everytime i miss people
tiny little explosions in my viens.