two worlds!
Last night i was venting to Brenna about how much I hate being here. I want to be in Oklahoma so badly! The people here are so unaware of anything but themselves. And its not like this is the first time i realized this... I mean these are the people i have grown up with. I am so sick of their rude jokes and constant bringing down of everyone around them. I hate the fact that they treat everyone in the group like crap, and then act surprised when there are people who don't want to be around it. I hate the way that only good things change while the bad things stay the same. I hate the fact that everyone is out for them self and there is not one ounce of true friendship within this group. No one cares about important things, just as long as he kisses that girl, or she makes that guy notice her, or he proves to himself that hes still a studly guy, or she looks good (no matter who she tears down in the process). These people complain about how much they are tired of the same old people watching the same old movies.. but when others come in they are quickly repelled by this stupid jokes and juvenile, condescending remarks made by everyone there. No one wants to be a part of that. No one wants to spend a summer there. I have PURPOSELY kept from kissing three guys in that group... who have tried... to keep from any form of Drama heating up. I have continuously kept my mouth shut in times to keep from blowing up. I am so tired of this. So anyways... Brenna let me read this. I wish i would have read this while still in school!
The Last Month of The First Year of College
>
>A year has past and now we stand on the brink of returning
>to a world where we are surrounded by the paradox of everything,
>and yet nothing being the same.
>
>In a month we will reluctantly give our hugs and, fighting the
>tears, say good-bye to people who were once just names on a sheet of paper
>to return to people that we hugged and fought tears to say good-bye to
>before we ever left.
>
>We will leave our best friends to return to our best friends.
>We will go back to the places we came from and go back to the same things
>we
>did last summer and every summer before that.
>
>We will come into town on that same familiar road, and even though
>it has been months, it will seem like only yesterday.
>As you walk into your old bedroom, every emotion will pass
>through you as you reflect on the way your life has changed
>and the person you have become.
>
>You suddenly realize that the things that were most important to you a year
>ago don't seem to matter so much anymore, and the things you hold highest
>now, no one at home will completely understand.
>
>The memories and the stories from school won't mean anything to
>anyone at home and yet you resent them for that, that they can't
>share that happiness with you.
>Who will you call first?
>What will you do your first weekend home with your friends?
>How long before you actually start missing people barging in
>without calling or knocking?
>Who will get pizza at three in the morning with you now?
>How long until you adjust to sleeping alone in a room again?
>
>Then you start to realize how much things have changed, and you
>realize the hardest part of university is balancing the two
>completely different worlds you now live in, trying desperately to hold on
>to everything all the while trying to figure out what you have to leave
>behind.
>
>In the matter of one day's traveling time, we will leave our world
>of living next door to our best friends, walking across campus to
>eat, instant messenger, 8am classes, and the perpetual procrastination to a
>world that will seem foreign to us despite the fact that we lived
>in it for eighteen years.
>But it is different now.
>We now know the meaning of true friendship.
>We know who we have kept in touch with over the past year
>and who we hold dearest in our hearts.
>We've left our high school world to deal with the real world.
>We've had our hearts broken, we've fallen in love, we've helped our
>best friends overcome depression, stress and death, and we've stayed
>up all night on the phone just to talk to a friend in need.
>There have been times when we've felt so helpless being hours away
>from home when we know our families needed us, and there are times we know
>we have made a difference.
>
>A month from now we will leave.
>A month from now we take down our pictures, and pack up our clothes.
>No more going next door to do nothing for hours on end.
>We will leave our friends whose random email and phone calls will
>bring us to laughter and tears this summer.
>We will take our memories and dreams and put them away
>for now, saving them for our return to this world. a month
>from now we will arrive.
>
>We will unpack our bags and have dinner with our families.
>We will drive over to our best friend's house and do nothing for
>hours on end.
>We will return to the same friends whose random emails and phone
>calls have brought us to laughter and tears over the year.
>We will unpack old dreams and memories that have been put away
>for the past year.
>
>In a month we will dig deep inside to find the strength and
>conviction to adjust to change and still keep each other close.
>And somehow, in some way, we will find our place between these two
>completely different worlds.... Are you ready?
>
>
It's so amazing to me how much that nailed it on the dot. I'm going back to edmond tomorrow... To pick up Kayla because i know i could not go on this camping trip with these people without her. I sat last night at Taco Bell and stared into my cup of water... wondering what i would be doing at OC... that time last week i was there and i was having the time of my life. I then realized i only had a month to go and i would be there for good. And one weekend i will be camping, one weekend is warped tour, one week i will go up to Altus to see the guys. I am counting down the days until i can walk across campus to go to a basketball game... stand on the sidelines (cheering) look out onto the court, catch Ricky's eye and smile. I cant wait until i walk into chapel (of all places) and listen to the singing, i miss going to lunch after chapel and passing down the line outside the cafeteria... waving and smiling at 75 percent of the people standing in line.. because you know 75 percent of the people on campus well enough to do that. I want to meet up with a few of my guy friends and play mud football! I want to sit through a boring lecture and doodle stars and band names on the corners of my notes. I want to stay up till 4 studying for a test i have no chance of passing. I want to meet up with a few of the cheerleaders for a bowl of cereal before practice..... I want to be anywhere but here and its driving me crazy knowing i cant have that. People here never seize to disappoint me! But i guess if everyone in the world understood many things about you... then that would make those few understood everything less valuable.
The Last Month of The First Year of College
>
>A year has past and now we stand on the brink of returning
>to a world where we are surrounded by the paradox of everything,
>and yet nothing being the same.
>
>In a month we will reluctantly give our hugs and, fighting the
>tears, say good-bye to people who were once just names on a sheet of paper
>to return to people that we hugged and fought tears to say good-bye to
>before we ever left.
>
>We will leave our best friends to return to our best friends.
>We will go back to the places we came from and go back to the same things
>we
>did last summer and every summer before that.
>
>We will come into town on that same familiar road, and even though
>it has been months, it will seem like only yesterday.
>As you walk into your old bedroom, every emotion will pass
>through you as you reflect on the way your life has changed
>and the person you have become.
>
>You suddenly realize that the things that were most important to you a year
>ago don't seem to matter so much anymore, and the things you hold highest
>now, no one at home will completely understand.
>
>The memories and the stories from school won't mean anything to
>anyone at home and yet you resent them for that, that they can't
>share that happiness with you.
>Who will you call first?
>What will you do your first weekend home with your friends?
>How long before you actually start missing people barging in
>without calling or knocking?
>Who will get pizza at three in the morning with you now?
>How long until you adjust to sleeping alone in a room again?
>
>Then you start to realize how much things have changed, and you
>realize the hardest part of university is balancing the two
>completely different worlds you now live in, trying desperately to hold on
>to everything all the while trying to figure out what you have to leave
>behind.
>
>In the matter of one day's traveling time, we will leave our world
>of living next door to our best friends, walking across campus to
>eat, instant messenger, 8am classes, and the perpetual procrastination to a
>world that will seem foreign to us despite the fact that we lived
>in it for eighteen years.
>But it is different now.
>We now know the meaning of true friendship.
>We know who we have kept in touch with over the past year
>and who we hold dearest in our hearts.
>We've left our high school world to deal with the real world.
>We've had our hearts broken, we've fallen in love, we've helped our
>best friends overcome depression, stress and death, and we've stayed
>up all night on the phone just to talk to a friend in need.
>There have been times when we've felt so helpless being hours away
>from home when we know our families needed us, and there are times we know
>we have made a difference.
>
>A month from now we will leave.
>A month from now we take down our pictures, and pack up our clothes.
>No more going next door to do nothing for hours on end.
>We will leave our friends whose random email and phone calls will
>bring us to laughter and tears this summer.
>We will take our memories and dreams and put them away
>for now, saving them for our return to this world. a month
>from now we will arrive.
>
>We will unpack our bags and have dinner with our families.
>We will drive over to our best friend's house and do nothing for
>hours on end.
>We will return to the same friends whose random emails and phone
>calls have brought us to laughter and tears over the year.
>We will unpack old dreams and memories that have been put away
>for the past year.
>
>In a month we will dig deep inside to find the strength and
>conviction to adjust to change and still keep each other close.
>And somehow, in some way, we will find our place between these two
>completely different worlds.... Are you ready?
>
>
It's so amazing to me how much that nailed it on the dot. I'm going back to edmond tomorrow... To pick up Kayla because i know i could not go on this camping trip with these people without her. I sat last night at Taco Bell and stared into my cup of water... wondering what i would be doing at OC... that time last week i was there and i was having the time of my life. I then realized i only had a month to go and i would be there for good. And one weekend i will be camping, one weekend is warped tour, one week i will go up to Altus to see the guys. I am counting down the days until i can walk across campus to go to a basketball game... stand on the sidelines (cheering) look out onto the court, catch Ricky's eye and smile. I cant wait until i walk into chapel (of all places) and listen to the singing, i miss going to lunch after chapel and passing down the line outside the cafeteria... waving and smiling at 75 percent of the people standing in line.. because you know 75 percent of the people on campus well enough to do that. I want to meet up with a few of my guy friends and play mud football! I want to sit through a boring lecture and doodle stars and band names on the corners of my notes. I want to stay up till 4 studying for a test i have no chance of passing. I want to meet up with a few of the cheerleaders for a bowl of cereal before practice..... I want to be anywhere but here and its driving me crazy knowing i cant have that. People here never seize to disappoint me! But i guess if everyone in the world understood many things about you... then that would make those few understood everything less valuable.