Thinking.....

[lacidawn1013]

This is what i dont get... well actually there are two things. I think have found something i hate more thananything. That is Hypocrits! I mean all these people i grew up with in the same CHURCH got really drunk last night. Now these are the same guys that have been doing this same thing all summer. Well this time they were joined by a few other friends. I just dont understanx how someone can critisize one thing and do the very same thing within the same week. I just dont get it. I think my church is filled with Hypocrits and i know that this is one thing i never want to be. I dont think these people are terible people because they drink. I dont understnad wehere the fun in it comes in. I mean i remember staying up at night cleaning up the puke of people... i didnt find that fun. I guess its kinda like any type of sin or addiction someone has... its really hard to get over it because there is something that they find appealing about it. Take Sex.... Ok yeah thatsa huge addiction... and i dont put down those you are lost in that temptation because i know how hard it is to overcome.... But if i were to sit here and say "yeah well all my friends get drunk, have sex... i cant believe that! Its just so wrong! " then the next week go out and screw some guy... i mean that would be hyupocrtical... ok wait what about tomorrow morning when i go to church and see these poeple.... i dont know.. i just dont get it at all!
Something else... ialso dont know why its so hard for me to allow anyone to get close. Its becoming annoying to me how its just so easy for me to pflip off and on my emotions. I have never had a hard time talking to people...Why cant i find any type of attraction to this Mark guy. I mean he is adorable... hes so cute and so nice. I just dont understand it! Maybe i know its pointless... this is stupid! I am going to bed!