~Fuck the Fucking Fucker~
So it seems as though Tiffany does nto want me anymore. Used, abused, left unwanted. She is or thinks she is "in love" with Aaron. Aaron is a gay guy... aparently I am just shit... Aaron is what she is looking for in a guy and I dun blame her. Aaron is way kooler than me and he is super neat. I like him as a friend. Appernytly I am not what she is looking for... So I do feel used...but then again I don't. I had a good time being with her and being around her made me happy. AND if she is happy wanting him and wanting us to stay friends.. I am happy too. As long as I dun lose her. I hate losing people... especially friends. She makes me smile and I feel open and good around her. So in the end I am glad she is happy... or I hope she is anyway.. I just dun want her to get hurt knowing he is gay and doubting anything will ever happen with them. So I am at another lose. Oh well, Life goes on...and so do we *sings the rest of the theme song to some old show*
I called Brad back like he asked... and I asked him to come get me. We went to I.H.O.P and ate and chilled. We were there till 3:30ish or 4ish... then we went driving. We were near Germantown...but ended up in Cordova. It was kool We drove around till about 4:50ish and found ourselves in Cordova Town. We found a private school and it was hidden in the dark, so we parked the car there and just stayed there ill 6:30 this morning. We talk the whole night and just had fun. I want to cry... but I didn't. A tear or two were shed, but the I realized I have not lost anything... I have a wonderful friend and if she ever needs me I will be there. All and all I am still sad a little, but nto much. I just wish something could of came from it... and not feel so used...but things happen. At least I know I have friends. I wanted to kiss Brad kind of lastnight... OMA (oh my angel) It was weird. We were cuddling and he was running his hands throught my hair, but Brad is like my BEST best wolf pack friend. I did nto want to do something liek that and mess up what we have. I am just glad he was there to hold me and keep me from harm... from myself even. I love ya Brad. Remember that... cuz no matter what, YOU will be one of the best things I remember in life.
As for me. I am getting better about hurting myself. It has been really about 6months to a YEAR since I hurt myself. I am getting better. i did not even think of it. Instead I thought of how STUPID it is to hurt yurself when you are sad... but then again sometimes it is not stupid. People deal with emotions their own wat, so leave them alone. I deal with mine by talking with my close friends and knowing these things, "With all great things must come a end,it is what you make of it that will stand time." and "No matter how much pain you suffer, or even a million heart breaks that occur, there will always be the one thing that is worth it in the end" (or several things meaning kids, ect.) But that is my Philosophy and I am sticking to it. Cuz I will be a great Psychologist one day. I will stand time. AND I will make the momories last till my mind fades. Knowing me, My body will fade away ten fold before my mind will ever. "Never lose site of the future...and never... NEVER lose hope"
So quotes the Raven, so blows the wind.
"See Ya Later Space Cowboy..."