Reflection: Chapter 2
Title: Reflection
Summary: Everybody knew Kaoru was the odd kid, even his parents. And he only got odder when he said his only friend was a mirror. AU
Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club
Pairing: HikaruxKaoru
Rating: Pg13-Nc17
Chapter 2/5
One Day
Kaoru walks into the bathroom and sees Hikaru staring at him from the mirror. It’s a bit awkward as they just look at each other and Kaoru breaks the silence with a question.
“Hikaru, do you like where you live?”
“The Mirror World? Nope. It’s boring as hell. I wish I could live where you do. The Actual World.”
“Can I go to the Mirror World?”
“What the hell do you think, person who isn’t a reflection?” Hikaru asks sarcastically.
And Kaoru smiles.
xxx
Few days
“Hikaru, I‘m bored! You here?” Kaoru asks as he turns the light on in the bathroom.
“Yeah. I’m always here.” Hikaru replies, looking bored as well.
“Isn’t that kind of dull?”
“Kind of? Try ‘a lot’. Like sticking pins in my eyes would be funner.”
“Funner isn’t a word.”
“What the-?” His face matches his words. “No wonder nobody likes you.”
Kaoru laughs.
xxx
Weeks
“Hikaru! I’m home!” It’s a schedule now. Now he comes homes to Hikaru and goes to visit him. It’s the first thing he does every day. It’s nice.
“Hey. How was school?”
“Easy. Really boring though.”
“Then you’re too smart. Be dumber. Wait, don’t tell me; dumber isn’t a word?”
“No, it is. Good job. And why don’t you just do something interesting?”
“What am I doing right now, then?” His words aren’t so sarcastic. Hikaru means what he says.
Kaoru is flattered.
xxx
Time Goes By So Quickly…Too Quickly
Kaoru yawns and tries to keep his eyes open. He had been staying up late at night, talking to Hikaru a lot. Class was boring and it was doing nothing for his weakened attention span.
He yawns again, rather loudly, and the whole class looks at him. Including the teacher.
“Hitachiin, why are you interrupting class with your yawning?”
He tries to give the teacher an apologetic look but it doesn’t come out right and he just gives the teacher a quick apology. He would have usually tried to seem more sincere but it wasn’t a good day for fake sincerity. He couldn’t think about work or anything. Hikaru was plaguing his mind.
It had been three weeks of talking to Hikaru, of not getting enough sleep and his grades were slipping. But it wasn’t bothering him. No, he felt happy and he wondered how much longer he’d have to wait before class ended and he could talk to his reflection again. It was like an addiction. Hikaru was like an addiction. Addictions were usually bad but not this one and Kaoru liked it. Nothing horrible could come from it.
It felt like when he read a book and didn’t want to finish. And when it did, he’d be sad. And that was how he felt about Hikaru. Kaoru was selfish. He didn’t like to let go of things that generally belonged to him. Lessons of sharing had never gone well with him. Kaoru didn’t share.
He felt oddly possessive of Hikaru. But, he reasoned in the back of his mind with a smug smile, Hikaru is his reflection. The key word being his and that was a word of ownership. Hikaru was his and nobody else’s.
When it was finally time to go, he went faster than everybody else instead of the his usual calm walk out.
“Hitachiin! A word, please.”
He frowns irritably before turning around with a huge smile on his face. “Yes? Is there something you’d like to discuss with me?”
“Your grades are going down, Hitachiin.” the teacher says, looking a bit disturbed. “You’re a very smart boy. I doubt you aren’t grasping the material. Is something wrong at home? What’s going on?”
“I’m just having those off days is all.” he answers, smiling softly. “I am perfectly fine.”
“Don’t lie to me. I’ve been a teacher for ten years and I know when a student lies. It’s better you say something now.” Kaoru says nothing, his smile slipping into a perturbed scowl. The teacher sighs and then frowns. “I will have to call your parents.”
Kaoru isn’t mean. No, he is a very nice boy and knows his manners. He is only mean to those who deserve it but he instantly becomes angry. “Go for it. My parents are never home; you’ll never reach them.”
“Work numbers, Hitachiin. Now go home and do your work.”
He sends her a glare before walking out.
He doesn’t wonder why he’s changed so drastically.
xxx
“Hikaru,” Kaoru says as he enters the bathroom and sits down in front of the mirror smiling, feeling instantly happy to see that Hikaru is happy to see him too. He‘s smiling back. “I missed you.”
Hikaru looks away, seeming to be a bit embarrassed. Kaoru notices that Hikaru gets embarrassed a lot and very easily. Especially when he says things like that a lot.
“I really like you a lot, Hikaru,” he says softly. He wants to see Hikaru embarrassed.
“Well, yeah,” the reflection mutters, still looking away from Kaoru. “I’m your reflection.”
Kaoru feels like there’s more to it than that. Like they’re destined to be together. And yet they were. Hikaru was his reflection. They were meant to be together. But he was privileged. He got to meet Hikaru. Hikaru wanted to meet him. And he felt automatically saddened by the fact they could never really talk. Not normally. For reflections were always meant to be inside the mirror. And no matter how many times he puts his hands on the mirror, he never goes in. He wants to. He wants to be with Hikaru. Hikaru understood him.
“I wish I could be in your world,” Kaoru says and Hikaru looks at him, his face shocked.
“Why?” Hikaru asks, looking confused. “I told you it’s boring.”
“But at least you’re there,” Kaoru answers, smiling softly. “It isn’t like there’s anybody here that’s worth my time anyway.”
“You’re so down to earth,” Hikaru teases. “It’s no wonder you’re so popular.”
Kaoru laughs and shrugs. “But it’s true. Nobody is worth my time. Except you that is.”
“Yeah, your own reflection is the only thing worth your time. Real sane.”
Kaoru freezes and glares at Hikaru. “I’m not crazy. You’re real, right, Hikaru? This isn’t some really mean trick, right? Right?!”
Hikaru’s eyes widen and he puts up his hands as if a surrender or trying to pacify him with that motion alone, “Yes! I’m real! Damn, don’t get so moody. I was only joking.”
Kaoru smiles, showing his reflection he’s forgiven and looks down at the floor. Kaoru wonders sometimes why his life is the way it is. He isn’t depressed because like mentioned before, Kaoru is realistic and sees that his life is nothing to be sad over. But he wonders why the only person good enough for him is Hikaru and why Hikaru has to be only a reflection. Why couldn’t Hikaru be real?
He shakes his head. Hikaru is real. He is stupid for thinking otherwise.
“What are you thinking about?” he hears Hikaru ask and he looks up and gives him another smile.
“Oh, nothing. Just my life is all,” He puts his hand to the mirror and smiles when he sees that Hikaru almost does the same action. “Do you like me, Hikaru?”
Hikaru is looking at him in a sort of shocked way and even if it is his own reflection, Kaoru likes it. He likes knowing he can do that to somebody. It makes him feel special. It makes him feel like somebody likes him and he loves that feeling best of all.
“Go do your homework or something,” Hikaru mutters.
Kaoru stands up and soon, Hikaru follows suit.
“Do you want me gone?”
“No,” Hikaru admits, a little embarrassed. “But you need to do other things.”
“Aren’t we friends?”
Kaoru isn’t very sure what is happening or why Hikaru is looking at him in that way. All he knows is that it makes his heart flutter and that he feels just a bit annoyed by how Hikaru is treating him. He frowns and walks out of the bathroom, not saying any kind of good-bye to his reflection.
xxx
As Kaoru’s dad calls him down, Kaoru knows what it’s about. It’s about that stupid teacher and he doesn’t feel like talking about it after the minor sort of fight he’s had with Hikaru. But Kaoru is a good boy and will listen when he has to. And unfortunately, now is one of these times.
At least, Kaoru thinks to himself, his father will understand him more than his mother. He’s like his father but not quite because his father has his mother. To Kaoru, that’s the thing that will make his father never understand.
“Kaoru,” he says when he sits down and gives him a smile. “I haven’t seen you in a few weeks. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry, Dad. You have work to worry about. I’m fine,” Kaoru smiles.
“Fine? Not according to your teacher. Your grades are going down.”
“She’s worrying over nothing. I’m still passing. I’ve just been having some off days is all,” Kaoru realizes he’s lying and the thing that bothers him just a little is he’s never had to lie to his father. His father usually understood him somewhat. Understood how different he was. But his dad couldn’t possibly understand Hikaru. He wasn’t special enough to understand.
“Kaoru, I know I’m not here enough to be a great father but I at least know when you lie. And why lie? I want to know what’s going on, son. I love you and I want to make sure you‘re fine,” his father says solemnly and Kaoru feels just a tad pissed.
“Then believe me when I say I am fine!”
“But you obviously aren’t.” Kaoru’s father is too smart and Kaoru frowns. “My Kaoru doesn’t do this.”
“Then maybe you don’t know Kaoru well enough.”
Things are awkwardly silent. At least Kaoru knows his father feels that way but for him? It isn’t awkward for him. He’s never found the courage to say any of these things before and now? Now he is and he feels empowered.
“You’re right. I probably do not you well enough.” Kaoru decides not to notice the sad look on his face. “If you want to go, then go. But are you going to go to the bathroom?”
“What?” Kaoru asks, confused. “I don’t see how that’s any of your busi-”
“I know you go there a lot. I asked the maids. You go in there for hours. I want to know why but I don’t think you’ll tell me even if I asked.”
Kaoru is a little taken aback and begins to run towards the stairs but not before he hears his father say last one thing.
“Your mother will be coming home soon.”
xxx
Kaoru does go into the bathroom and he sits in front of the mirror. He needs to see Hikaru. Hikaru will understand. Hikaru always does when nobody else is there to be his friend.
“Hikaru, talk to me. You understand me. You’re the only one that does.”
And he feels relieved to see Hikaru smile at him. To know their first falling-out hasn’t destroyed them.
“Feeling extra hormonal and teenager-y today?”
And Kaoru laughs.
xxx
When Mrs. Hitachiin comes home, she’s stomping in, looking angry and goes to her husband, her face looking livid and upset.
“What’s going on with Kaoru?!” She almost screams and Mr. Hitachiin flinches. “I get a call from the teacher his grades are dropping and then you call me and tell me we need to talk about him! I want to know right now what the hell is going on!”
Mr. Hitachiin stands up and goes to hug his wife. “Calm down, honey. You aren’t going to be any help to him this way.”
“I know,” she says sadly and hugs him back. “But what’s going on? Is Kaoru alright?”
“I really hate to say it but I don’t think he is. From what the maids told me, all he does is stay in the bathroom. They think they hear him talking.”
She pulls away, looking confused. “Talking? To who? Who the hell can he be talking to? He lives on the third story! Nobody can get in there through his window or something.”
“I don’t know. I really don’t. But it doesn’t sound good, does it?”
Mrs. Hitachiin says no more as she begins running towards Kaoru’s room. She runs past the maids who seem bewildered and she really can’t care right now.
She enters his room and goes directly to his bathroom, trying to open the door.
And it’s locked.
“Kaoru!” She yells, knocking on it with all she can. “Open this door! Open this fucking door or I swear! I’ll punish you! I’ll take away all your books! I’ll tell your teacher! I’ll tell your dad! I’ll! I’ll! I’ll-”
She stops when she realizes she has no idea what to do. She is sure something is wrong. She feels it deep in her heart. Kaoru needs her but she doesn’t know what to do.
Her pounding becomes less motivated and she feels tears going down her face.
“Please, Kaoru. Please. Open your door. Let me in.”
Mr. Hitachiin finds her at Kaoru’s bathroom door, her make-up smudged.
xxx
“What’s that noise?” Hikaru asks, looking to the door where pounding is being heard.
“Kaoru!”
Kaoru sighs, “Ignore it, it’s just my mom. She’ll go after a minute or so.”
The pounding doesn’t go away and Kaoru ignores her pleas. He notices Hikaru seems uncomfortable.
“Maybe you should let her in,” his reflection says. “It sounds like she really loves you.”
“No. Now, what were we talking about again?”
It’s Just Too Late
Chapter 3
Summary: Everybody knew Kaoru was the odd kid, even his parents. And he only got odder when he said his only friend was a mirror. AU
Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club
Pairing: HikaruxKaoru
Rating: Pg13-Nc17
Chapter 2/5
One Day
Kaoru walks into the bathroom and sees Hikaru staring at him from the mirror. It’s a bit awkward as they just look at each other and Kaoru breaks the silence with a question.
“Hikaru, do you like where you live?”
“The Mirror World? Nope. It’s boring as hell. I wish I could live where you do. The Actual World.”
“Can I go to the Mirror World?”
“What the hell do you think, person who isn’t a reflection?” Hikaru asks sarcastically.
And Kaoru smiles.
xxx
Few days
“Hikaru, I‘m bored! You here?” Kaoru asks as he turns the light on in the bathroom.
“Yeah. I’m always here.” Hikaru replies, looking bored as well.
“Isn’t that kind of dull?”
“Kind of? Try ‘a lot’. Like sticking pins in my eyes would be funner.”
“Funner isn’t a word.”
“What the-?” His face matches his words. “No wonder nobody likes you.”
Kaoru laughs.
xxx
Weeks
“Hikaru! I’m home!” It’s a schedule now. Now he comes homes to Hikaru and goes to visit him. It’s the first thing he does every day. It’s nice.
“Hey. How was school?”
“Easy. Really boring though.”
“Then you’re too smart. Be dumber. Wait, don’t tell me; dumber isn’t a word?”
“No, it is. Good job. And why don’t you just do something interesting?”
“What am I doing right now, then?” His words aren’t so sarcastic. Hikaru means what he says.
Kaoru is flattered.
xxx
Time Goes By So Quickly…Too Quickly
Kaoru yawns and tries to keep his eyes open. He had been staying up late at night, talking to Hikaru a lot. Class was boring and it was doing nothing for his weakened attention span.
He yawns again, rather loudly, and the whole class looks at him. Including the teacher.
“Hitachiin, why are you interrupting class with your yawning?”
He tries to give the teacher an apologetic look but it doesn’t come out right and he just gives the teacher a quick apology. He would have usually tried to seem more sincere but it wasn’t a good day for fake sincerity. He couldn’t think about work or anything. Hikaru was plaguing his mind.
It had been three weeks of talking to Hikaru, of not getting enough sleep and his grades were slipping. But it wasn’t bothering him. No, he felt happy and he wondered how much longer he’d have to wait before class ended and he could talk to his reflection again. It was like an addiction. Hikaru was like an addiction. Addictions were usually bad but not this one and Kaoru liked it. Nothing horrible could come from it.
It felt like when he read a book and didn’t want to finish. And when it did, he’d be sad. And that was how he felt about Hikaru. Kaoru was selfish. He didn’t like to let go of things that generally belonged to him. Lessons of sharing had never gone well with him. Kaoru didn’t share.
He felt oddly possessive of Hikaru. But, he reasoned in the back of his mind with a smug smile, Hikaru is his reflection. The key word being his and that was a word of ownership. Hikaru was his and nobody else’s.
When it was finally time to go, he went faster than everybody else instead of the his usual calm walk out.
“Hitachiin! A word, please.”
He frowns irritably before turning around with a huge smile on his face. “Yes? Is there something you’d like to discuss with me?”
“Your grades are going down, Hitachiin.” the teacher says, looking a bit disturbed. “You’re a very smart boy. I doubt you aren’t grasping the material. Is something wrong at home? What’s going on?”
“I’m just having those off days is all.” he answers, smiling softly. “I am perfectly fine.”
“Don’t lie to me. I’ve been a teacher for ten years and I know when a student lies. It’s better you say something now.” Kaoru says nothing, his smile slipping into a perturbed scowl. The teacher sighs and then frowns. “I will have to call your parents.”
Kaoru isn’t mean. No, he is a very nice boy and knows his manners. He is only mean to those who deserve it but he instantly becomes angry. “Go for it. My parents are never home; you’ll never reach them.”
“Work numbers, Hitachiin. Now go home and do your work.”
He sends her a glare before walking out.
He doesn’t wonder why he’s changed so drastically.
xxx
“Hikaru,” Kaoru says as he enters the bathroom and sits down in front of the mirror smiling, feeling instantly happy to see that Hikaru is happy to see him too. He‘s smiling back. “I missed you.”
Hikaru looks away, seeming to be a bit embarrassed. Kaoru notices that Hikaru gets embarrassed a lot and very easily. Especially when he says things like that a lot.
“I really like you a lot, Hikaru,” he says softly. He wants to see Hikaru embarrassed.
“Well, yeah,” the reflection mutters, still looking away from Kaoru. “I’m your reflection.”
Kaoru feels like there’s more to it than that. Like they’re destined to be together. And yet they were. Hikaru was his reflection. They were meant to be together. But he was privileged. He got to meet Hikaru. Hikaru wanted to meet him. And he felt automatically saddened by the fact they could never really talk. Not normally. For reflections were always meant to be inside the mirror. And no matter how many times he puts his hands on the mirror, he never goes in. He wants to. He wants to be with Hikaru. Hikaru understood him.
“I wish I could be in your world,” Kaoru says and Hikaru looks at him, his face shocked.
“Why?” Hikaru asks, looking confused. “I told you it’s boring.”
“But at least you’re there,” Kaoru answers, smiling softly. “It isn’t like there’s anybody here that’s worth my time anyway.”
“You’re so down to earth,” Hikaru teases. “It’s no wonder you’re so popular.”
Kaoru laughs and shrugs. “But it’s true. Nobody is worth my time. Except you that is.”
“Yeah, your own reflection is the only thing worth your time. Real sane.”
Kaoru freezes and glares at Hikaru. “I’m not crazy. You’re real, right, Hikaru? This isn’t some really mean trick, right? Right?!”
Hikaru’s eyes widen and he puts up his hands as if a surrender or trying to pacify him with that motion alone, “Yes! I’m real! Damn, don’t get so moody. I was only joking.”
Kaoru smiles, showing his reflection he’s forgiven and looks down at the floor. Kaoru wonders sometimes why his life is the way it is. He isn’t depressed because like mentioned before, Kaoru is realistic and sees that his life is nothing to be sad over. But he wonders why the only person good enough for him is Hikaru and why Hikaru has to be only a reflection. Why couldn’t Hikaru be real?
He shakes his head. Hikaru is real. He is stupid for thinking otherwise.
“What are you thinking about?” he hears Hikaru ask and he looks up and gives him another smile.
“Oh, nothing. Just my life is all,” He puts his hand to the mirror and smiles when he sees that Hikaru almost does the same action. “Do you like me, Hikaru?”
Hikaru is looking at him in a sort of shocked way and even if it is his own reflection, Kaoru likes it. He likes knowing he can do that to somebody. It makes him feel special. It makes him feel like somebody likes him and he loves that feeling best of all.
“Go do your homework or something,” Hikaru mutters.
Kaoru stands up and soon, Hikaru follows suit.
“Do you want me gone?”
“No,” Hikaru admits, a little embarrassed. “But you need to do other things.”
“Aren’t we friends?”
Kaoru isn’t very sure what is happening or why Hikaru is looking at him in that way. All he knows is that it makes his heart flutter and that he feels just a bit annoyed by how Hikaru is treating him. He frowns and walks out of the bathroom, not saying any kind of good-bye to his reflection.
xxx
As Kaoru’s dad calls him down, Kaoru knows what it’s about. It’s about that stupid teacher and he doesn’t feel like talking about it after the minor sort of fight he’s had with Hikaru. But Kaoru is a good boy and will listen when he has to. And unfortunately, now is one of these times.
At least, Kaoru thinks to himself, his father will understand him more than his mother. He’s like his father but not quite because his father has his mother. To Kaoru, that’s the thing that will make his father never understand.
“Kaoru,” he says when he sits down and gives him a smile. “I haven’t seen you in a few weeks. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry, Dad. You have work to worry about. I’m fine,” Kaoru smiles.
“Fine? Not according to your teacher. Your grades are going down.”
“She’s worrying over nothing. I’m still passing. I’ve just been having some off days is all,” Kaoru realizes he’s lying and the thing that bothers him just a little is he’s never had to lie to his father. His father usually understood him somewhat. Understood how different he was. But his dad couldn’t possibly understand Hikaru. He wasn’t special enough to understand.
“Kaoru, I know I’m not here enough to be a great father but I at least know when you lie. And why lie? I want to know what’s going on, son. I love you and I want to make sure you‘re fine,” his father says solemnly and Kaoru feels just a tad pissed.
“Then believe me when I say I am fine!”
“But you obviously aren’t.” Kaoru’s father is too smart and Kaoru frowns. “My Kaoru doesn’t do this.”
“Then maybe you don’t know Kaoru well enough.”
Things are awkwardly silent. At least Kaoru knows his father feels that way but for him? It isn’t awkward for him. He’s never found the courage to say any of these things before and now? Now he is and he feels empowered.
“You’re right. I probably do not you well enough.” Kaoru decides not to notice the sad look on his face. “If you want to go, then go. But are you going to go to the bathroom?”
“What?” Kaoru asks, confused. “I don’t see how that’s any of your busi-”
“I know you go there a lot. I asked the maids. You go in there for hours. I want to know why but I don’t think you’ll tell me even if I asked.”
Kaoru is a little taken aback and begins to run towards the stairs but not before he hears his father say last one thing.
“Your mother will be coming home soon.”
xxx
Kaoru does go into the bathroom and he sits in front of the mirror. He needs to see Hikaru. Hikaru will understand. Hikaru always does when nobody else is there to be his friend.
“Hikaru, talk to me. You understand me. You’re the only one that does.”
And he feels relieved to see Hikaru smile at him. To know their first falling-out hasn’t destroyed them.
“Feeling extra hormonal and teenager-y today?”
And Kaoru laughs.
xxx
When Mrs. Hitachiin comes home, she’s stomping in, looking angry and goes to her husband, her face looking livid and upset.
“What’s going on with Kaoru?!” She almost screams and Mr. Hitachiin flinches. “I get a call from the teacher his grades are dropping and then you call me and tell me we need to talk about him! I want to know right now what the hell is going on!”
Mr. Hitachiin stands up and goes to hug his wife. “Calm down, honey. You aren’t going to be any help to him this way.”
“I know,” she says sadly and hugs him back. “But what’s going on? Is Kaoru alright?”
“I really hate to say it but I don’t think he is. From what the maids told me, all he does is stay in the bathroom. They think they hear him talking.”
She pulls away, looking confused. “Talking? To who? Who the hell can he be talking to? He lives on the third story! Nobody can get in there through his window or something.”
“I don’t know. I really don’t. But it doesn’t sound good, does it?”
Mrs. Hitachiin says no more as she begins running towards Kaoru’s room. She runs past the maids who seem bewildered and she really can’t care right now.
She enters his room and goes directly to his bathroom, trying to open the door.
And it’s locked.
“Kaoru!” She yells, knocking on it with all she can. “Open this door! Open this fucking door or I swear! I’ll punish you! I’ll take away all your books! I’ll tell your teacher! I’ll tell your dad! I’ll! I’ll! I’ll-”
She stops when she realizes she has no idea what to do. She is sure something is wrong. She feels it deep in her heart. Kaoru needs her but she doesn’t know what to do.
Her pounding becomes less motivated and she feels tears going down her face.
“Please, Kaoru. Please. Open your door. Let me in.”
Mr. Hitachiin finds her at Kaoru’s bathroom door, her make-up smudged.
xxx
“What’s that noise?” Hikaru asks, looking to the door where pounding is being heard.
“Kaoru!”
Kaoru sighs, “Ignore it, it’s just my mom. She’ll go after a minute or so.”
The pounding doesn’t go away and Kaoru ignores her pleas. He notices Hikaru seems uncomfortable.
“Maybe you should let her in,” his reflection says. “It sounds like she really loves you.”
“No. Now, what were we talking about again?”
It’s Just Too Late
Chapter 3