Preferences changing

[lacey_m_8]

When I was eating lunch today, there was a couple also in the restaurant. They were about my age. The guy was a tall, cute white guy and the girl was an asian girl. There was a lot of pda (public displays of affection) going on. I found myself really jealous and began to wonder if I was jealous of the fact that he was white and she was asian or of the fact that they were a couple and I miss dating. For the first time, it actually bothered me that this white guy was with an asian girl. When I dated mainly asian guys for 5 years, I wonder if any asian girls ever got jealous. I don't mean to be all racial about this, but it kind of hit me that I was jealous of this asian girl getting this really cute white guy, whereas before I never cared who white guys dated because I wasn't into them. Times are definitely changing...

And, I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I think I'm going to be stuck in the kiss on the cheek stage for the rest of my life. I think I'm purposely forcing myself into the infamous "friend zone" that guys always complain about, even though I'm a girl.

Sometimes I wonder about myself.