Quizzical
Not posting the events thing on Lifeyear has really freed me up to write whatever I want in here, and to actually use my regular LJ again. Yay!
Work is still really super gay, but last Saturday me and Lindsey went out this restaurant called Dick's. And the tables are picnic style, really long. And I sat next to this cute young girl and she offered me a job at the place she works after we talked a little and I told her I was still new to town. I applied the other day, so we'll see where that goes.
And Thursday I'm interviewing at Lululemon haha I think I'll get it. I really want it. They would give me more hours, the store hours are awesome, and it's strictly seasonal work which is exactly what I'm looking for before going to Columbia.
Speaking of which, I have to pay all these gay deposits and meet with my advisor and get immunized before I can enroll. So much BS. I don't know how any of it's going to work, and I still have rent and other shit to pay. But it's worked this long, my little methods. I'm resting on my laurels in hope everything will come thru again.
Haven't fucked any cute boys since this weekend, but want to go to dollar drink nite tomorrow and see what I can scrounge up. So like, I was watching "Sex and the City", the one where Aidan waits forever to have sex with Carrie... and in the end, she respects him a lot more for it. I'm wondering if I should apply this principle to my own pitiful existence. But the gay world is so much different than the straight world it inhabits. Guys want you to put out. And honestly, I wanna know you have a hot cock and know how to fuck, THEN I wanna find out if you're a good guy or not. Is that just fucking ass backwards, or practical considerations?
I did start painting again also. It feels so freeing, deliberate, and deeply rooted in me. Now it doesn't have to stop for anything. I can just keep painting all I want, all day. I was so gentle and not at all rushed tonite. I want this feeling to stay. And I'm writing every day. It may be shit, but at least I'm doing it. It is improving, believe it or not. Still taking a pic every day. So I am creating ... every day. Writing poems, painting, and photographing. I still do love music so much tho. And dance... fuck. We'll see what happens.
I do want a cute boy to date tho. I texted Joe, my first Chicago hookup, and he didn't reply. I see guys on the street and of course nothing ever happens. I don't know. Do I really want to meet a guy at some lousy bar? Fuck no. But where else can I go? I'm not in school and my job is no good. Where else can I meet boys until school starts? At least it's only two more months. That I can deal with.
Until then, I don't plan to stop creating any time soon. I'm still really committed to Lifeyear, am enjoying the resurgence of painting, and the writing is unsurprisingly expressive. Life is freaking good. If only I had a better job and a boyfriend, then it would be sublime. Baby steps.
-J.
Leftover self pics from Lifeyear:
Work is still really super gay, but last Saturday me and Lindsey went out this restaurant called Dick's. And the tables are picnic style, really long. And I sat next to this cute young girl and she offered me a job at the place she works after we talked a little and I told her I was still new to town. I applied the other day, so we'll see where that goes.
And Thursday I'm interviewing at Lululemon haha I think I'll get it. I really want it. They would give me more hours, the store hours are awesome, and it's strictly seasonal work which is exactly what I'm looking for before going to Columbia.
Speaking of which, I have to pay all these gay deposits and meet with my advisor and get immunized before I can enroll. So much BS. I don't know how any of it's going to work, and I still have rent and other shit to pay. But it's worked this long, my little methods. I'm resting on my laurels in hope everything will come thru again.
Haven't fucked any cute boys since this weekend, but want to go to dollar drink nite tomorrow and see what I can scrounge up. So like, I was watching "Sex and the City", the one where Aidan waits forever to have sex with Carrie... and in the end, she respects him a lot more for it. I'm wondering if I should apply this principle to my own pitiful existence. But the gay world is so much different than the straight world it inhabits. Guys want you to put out. And honestly, I wanna know you have a hot cock and know how to fuck, THEN I wanna find out if you're a good guy or not. Is that just fucking ass backwards, or practical considerations?
I did start painting again also. It feels so freeing, deliberate, and deeply rooted in me. Now it doesn't have to stop for anything. I can just keep painting all I want, all day. I was so gentle and not at all rushed tonite. I want this feeling to stay. And I'm writing every day. It may be shit, but at least I'm doing it. It is improving, believe it or not. Still taking a pic every day. So I am creating ... every day. Writing poems, painting, and photographing. I still do love music so much tho. And dance... fuck. We'll see what happens.
I do want a cute boy to date tho. I texted Joe, my first Chicago hookup, and he didn't reply. I see guys on the street and of course nothing ever happens. I don't know. Do I really want to meet a guy at some lousy bar? Fuck no. But where else can I go? I'm not in school and my job is no good. Where else can I meet boys until school starts? At least it's only two more months. That I can deal with.
Until then, I don't plan to stop creating any time soon. I'm still really committed to Lifeyear, am enjoying the resurgence of painting, and the writing is unsurprisingly expressive. Life is freaking good. If only I had a better job and a boyfriend, then it would be sublime. Baby steps.
-J.
Leftover self pics from Lifeyear: