fuck you.
AHERhldaskfnsaldkfasfnkd a.s,dna;oslfdmn,as fcnld
i fucking don't even know what to do with him anymore. he expects me to make all these goddamn decsions for myself, then if he doesn't like my answer he gets childish and starts ignoring me. shouldn't that be like against the law or soemthing? ignoring your own child?
he's so fucking inconciderate.
sometimes hes the best father, but then he gets into these weeks that if i even just look at him the worng way i'm a demon child. and all hel breaks loose. i don't even fucking know what to do any more.
the last thing he said to be today before he left was, " what the hell else are you going to do today? nothing. laze around the house.
then he left for my uncles cabin with my brother for the day. i just figured he'd be happy. he doesn't have to look at my fucking loser ugly face all day. what hell happened to loving your child unconditionally? when he gets like this it's just like school, he's the popular, all ruling kid, and i'm jsut a lowly loser.. at least in school i can defend myself, and kick the crap out of anyone who fucks with me.
but he's my father.
then he gets SO mad when i start crying. i'm a girl, maybe that's what i am supposed to do when i am REJECTED by my own father.
i just wish he'd get over it, go back to father he was last week. i'm tired of hurting. i don't even know what i did to deserve it. maybe i was born. maybe it's because i grew up, and he still has to. and i know i sound so awhriwjrfpasfnalsd because i know i'm not as bad off as some kids. i mean at least i have my father and mother. but iut's days like thses when two years seems incredibly far away.
and what kills me is that i feel guilty. i hate myself for it. when he yells all i can do is say sorry. its like that fire in me dies, and i have nothing to defend myself, like i normally would.
FUCK. i hate it.
whatever. i am going to enjoy myself today. i'm going to be anti-social. rent a movie. eat alot of junk food and when he comes home to ask why the house isn't cleaned and i am not dressed i'll say, "because you're a dickhead and childish piece of fuck. get over it you shit."
...yeah. right.
[ sickofthislife. ]
--
britt.
i fucking don't even know what to do with him anymore. he expects me to make all these goddamn decsions for myself, then if he doesn't like my answer he gets childish and starts ignoring me. shouldn't that be like against the law or soemthing? ignoring your own child?
he's so fucking inconciderate.
sometimes hes the best father, but then he gets into these weeks that if i even just look at him the worng way i'm a demon child. and all hel breaks loose. i don't even fucking know what to do any more.
the last thing he said to be today before he left was, " what the hell else are you going to do today? nothing. laze around the house.
then he left for my uncles cabin with my brother for the day. i just figured he'd be happy. he doesn't have to look at my fucking loser ugly face all day. what hell happened to loving your child unconditionally? when he gets like this it's just like school, he's the popular, all ruling kid, and i'm jsut a lowly loser.. at least in school i can defend myself, and kick the crap out of anyone who fucks with me.
but he's my father.
then he gets SO mad when i start crying. i'm a girl, maybe that's what i am supposed to do when i am REJECTED by my own father.
i just wish he'd get over it, go back to father he was last week. i'm tired of hurting. i don't even know what i did to deserve it. maybe i was born. maybe it's because i grew up, and he still has to. and i know i sound so awhriwjrfpasfnalsd because i know i'm not as bad off as some kids. i mean at least i have my father and mother. but iut's days like thses when two years seems incredibly far away.
and what kills me is that i feel guilty. i hate myself for it. when he yells all i can do is say sorry. its like that fire in me dies, and i have nothing to defend myself, like i normally would.
FUCK. i hate it.
whatever. i am going to enjoy myself today. i'm going to be anti-social. rent a movie. eat alot of junk food and when he comes home to ask why the house isn't cleaned and i am not dressed i'll say, "because you're a dickhead and childish piece of fuck. get over it you shit."
...yeah. right.
[ sickofthislife. ]
--
britt.