(no subject)
I was driving home today after dropping my brother at work and I slipped into a world of surrealism as I peered into my left side view mirror. The invisible strings that attached me to reality were cut, with no previous warning. The mixture of motion hurled me into an unreality. Half the world, the palm trees, the video-game like street signs and traffic lights, the insects waiting at the bus stops, and the man-made ground, was progressing backwards. The other half of the world, the drivers whose eyes were glossed over and blank and whose feet alternated mechanically between the accelerator and the break, the bikers whose legs travelled in never ending circles, the pedestrians who only took note of the lights telling them what to do, was progressing forwards. Nothing remained stationary. I tried to pinpoint a motionless object, blatantly to no avail. I glanced down at my legs and my hands, and realized that I was merely a component of movement, an irrefutable element of synchronicity. Strangely enough, amidst all this commotion and relative movement, I was alone, in every sense of the word. This fact for the first time ever left me feeling almost elated, like I had co-dependency and frustration in hand cuffs in the back seat. I wasn't riding anyone's wave but my own.
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These thoughts ironically came on a day when I specifically noted that the people who I interact with on a daily basis have begun to really mean something to me. I'm talking about school - an institution I always resented and steered clear of, mentally. Today however, and never once before would I have even conceived of this, I realized how much I love (and I am not throwing the term around losely) the people in my physics class. Perhaps this is a non-sequitor, but fuck it. The dynamics are wonderful and when I look around the room I find something in everyone that I really cherish. There's Nita, who will never cease to make me roll around in laughter and whose charisma and sense of conviction I greatly admire. There's Tom, who now more than ever makes me smile without reason, and whose unique intellect coupled with his paper cranes stand out in my mind. There's Zach, who is always there when I glance to my right with a smiling face and loving blue eyes, whose ability to reason coupled with his radiating warmth put me at ease. There's Sarvani, whose kind face coupled with her ambitious nature inspire me to work. There's Oreste, who always manages to blurt out some creative, hilarious, often retarded, inconceivable scenario to back up his arguments and who I always want to slap and hug simultaneously. There's Laura and Manny in the back whose public affection makes me go "awwwww." There's Alex, whose perserverance and independence I relate to. And there's that fuck Barroso, whose sense of humor is somewhat strange, but whose determination to make us understand and whose random Spanish cursing reminds me how grateful I am to have him as a teacher. It's weird, appreciating and caring for these kids. Perhaps that current of friendship I was trying to oppose was just too strong. When I was sitting in room 47, with half of the aforementioned peers in the room as well, listening to the perky Harvard representative blab on and on about the wonders of the university, I realized that wherever we end up, I will never forget the appreciation and admiration I have for these people. It was a moment-type thing, a feeling of senior unity that was bound to come eventually, that I jotted down in the journal of my mind.
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These thoughts ironically came on a day when I specifically noted that the people who I interact with on a daily basis have begun to really mean something to me. I'm talking about school - an institution I always resented and steered clear of, mentally. Today however, and never once before would I have even conceived of this, I realized how much I love (and I am not throwing the term around losely) the people in my physics class. Perhaps this is a non-sequitor, but fuck it. The dynamics are wonderful and when I look around the room I find something in everyone that I really cherish. There's Nita, who will never cease to make me roll around in laughter and whose charisma and sense of conviction I greatly admire. There's Tom, who now more than ever makes me smile without reason, and whose unique intellect coupled with his paper cranes stand out in my mind. There's Zach, who is always there when I glance to my right with a smiling face and loving blue eyes, whose ability to reason coupled with his radiating warmth put me at ease. There's Sarvani, whose kind face coupled with her ambitious nature inspire me to work. There's Oreste, who always manages to blurt out some creative, hilarious, often retarded, inconceivable scenario to back up his arguments and who I always want to slap and hug simultaneously. There's Laura and Manny in the back whose public affection makes me go "awwwww." There's Alex, whose perserverance and independence I relate to. And there's that fuck Barroso, whose sense of humor is somewhat strange, but whose determination to make us understand and whose random Spanish cursing reminds me how grateful I am to have him as a teacher. It's weird, appreciating and caring for these kids. Perhaps that current of friendship I was trying to oppose was just too strong. When I was sitting in room 47, with half of the aforementioned peers in the room as well, listening to the perky Harvard representative blab on and on about the wonders of the university, I realized that wherever we end up, I will never forget the appreciation and admiration I have for these people. It was a moment-type thing, a feeling of senior unity that was bound to come eventually, that I jotted down in the journal of my mind.