summer
I'm trying to fill my life with useless things so I won't remember how lonely I am.
And I wish that people wouldn't listen to my advice. It just makes me feel guilty when things don't turn out how they're supposed to.
I am inclined to pity myself at this point in time because it is easier to think life is horrible in the middle of the night when you've just been on the computer reading about how amazing other peoples' lives are for an hour or two. I should just stop because it only makes me feel gross and makes me think that everyone else is out having fun all the time and are purposely leaving me behind because there's something wrong with me.
This is stupid. I have done lots of stuff with friends this summer. Today I did nothing but hang out with people. So what am I complaining about?!
Oh, I don't know. I just like complaining.
Then shut up, Erin.
Ok.
In other news:
I finally talked seriously with my mother about a therapist. She says she will call if I give her the number and if our insurance covers it then I will go for a few sessions. We will see how this goes.
Some people that I hoped would never re-enter my life have popped unexpectedly back into it.
Some old friends that I thought I had lost forever have also re-entered my life, though, so I guess they balance each other out.
Things are not as bad as I think they are right now. I am just having some painful memories and stabbing nostalgia right now but once I work through that then I will smile more frequently.
I'm going to sleep now.
And I wish that people wouldn't listen to my advice. It just makes me feel guilty when things don't turn out how they're supposed to.
I am inclined to pity myself at this point in time because it is easier to think life is horrible in the middle of the night when you've just been on the computer reading about how amazing other peoples' lives are for an hour or two. I should just stop because it only makes me feel gross and makes me think that everyone else is out having fun all the time and are purposely leaving me behind because there's something wrong with me.
This is stupid. I have done lots of stuff with friends this summer. Today I did nothing but hang out with people. So what am I complaining about?!
Oh, I don't know. I just like complaining.
Then shut up, Erin.
Ok.
In other news:
I finally talked seriously with my mother about a therapist. She says she will call if I give her the number and if our insurance covers it then I will go for a few sessions. We will see how this goes.
Some people that I hoped would never re-enter my life have popped unexpectedly back into it.
Some old friends that I thought I had lost forever have also re-entered my life, though, so I guess they balance each other out.
Things are not as bad as I think they are right now. I am just having some painful memories and stabbing nostalgia right now but once I work through that then I will smile more frequently.
I'm going to sleep now.