april goals swing and miss, but changes still ensue
it's been a week since my attempt to shake up my life. i woke up last monday with a great loathing rising inside of me, having the weekend come and gone all to quickly without a fun-filled night to make the weekday tolerable. i began negotiating with myself, deciding it was time to end my job, but not sure when. then a greatly inspired moment of 'fuck it' frustration and not wanting to be in this office any longer. i fled from the place. turned off my phone. turning it on only periodically in an attempt to escape my karma. only to find angry friends and family wondering where i am.
i couldn't dodge, they found me somehow. i woke up tuesday to discover that daniel had been given the job i had just quit. it was a bizarre twist of karma. as far as the staffing agency is concerned, daniel and i are step brothers; and it was almost a 'new world order'-esque attempt by corporate america to rip families apart. i gave daniel my tips on how to make the job more tolerable and i've put it behind me. i've quit the staffing agency after almost two years. in these two years i've gone on quite a journey criss-crossing miami. i've worked the five commercial corners of dade county: brickell, washington ave, doral, kendall and coral gables. it's been quite an experience, i've met so many great larger than life people and so many sleazy scum of the earth people as well. it never ceases to amaze me that i'm connected to these people in other ways and discover our city and world aren't that big. the only thing i regret that i wasn't able to learn from all these people, was how to hold down a job permanently.
people everywhere keep their jobs for years and go to them everyday without fail. how can they wake up to the same routine year after year? whereas myself, on several occassions ended up as a well-paid slacker, found it to be intolerable. i'm trying to tackle that question now. and so i quit the staffing agency because i think it was preventing me from developing those kinds of qualities. and until i do, i'm really rather lost because i've just thrown out the plan that got me through the last two years so easily. even if i'm not working, there are changes going on everywhere. jose has moved out of our humble home and thus ushered in a transitionary era that will end when we all move out. his move was rather abrupt and i always perceive him to be so cold-hearted when he makes such abrupt moves, but he's excited about the future and there's nothing cold-hearted about that. i should be too. i'm going back to school and will be indulging in all sorts of activities i haven't be able to for two years. i will miss the convenience of having my best friend so close and being able to pick his brain whenever. it was kind of sad though, because he came by last night and took stevo and tubbs to his new home. it was hard to say goodbye to those cute creatures that have been a lot of fun to live with. it was a bit hard falling asleep, there wasn't enough cat hair on my bed and the excess oxygen i breathed in keeps me up at night.
the house is quiet during the day, while everyone's at work. so i try to keep myself entertained by taking long bike rides. i worm through back roads and find more connections between places, mapping out the small details of the nearby areas, everyday i cover more ground. i've found many places where the sidewalk ends. and many a familiar face walking down the road, or stuck in traffic, or just hanging out at some coincedental place will call out my name and snap me out of my bicycle-driven reverie. carlos came by sometime during the week and we listened to all of 'zaireeka' in an almost perfectly synchronized caucophony. overall it is an amazing cd. it's difficulty to setup is worth it. i also had dinner with elly and daniel at this thai place. i discovered that thai food is uber delicious and that thai donuts beat american donuts hands down.
i was quite a long walk away from home when my bicycle's chain suddenly fell off. i got my hands dirty, but i persuaded it get back on. it's the biggest pain in the ass to get it back on, but it somehow linked on again magically. and thankfully i wasn't stuck walking home and tempted to abandone my bike. my neighbor suzy got married yesterday. i saw them all as they were getting into their limo, everyone dressed to the nines. her family are great, wonderful people. i felt very welcomed as i joined the celebration late into the night. her cousins are keenly intelligent guys of a thousand absorptions.
if i find myself bored, i realize i still have much thinking to do to figure out a new way to get by. the strange, almost literary elements of my life these days make it hard not to just sit back and think into space. but i want to be a part of my own life, not just someone observing it and trying to figure it out. so i have other challenges too. there is a person who i'm struggling to know and connect with. i'm helped a bit by my karma which has already connected us in a weird way. maybe things will turn out ok. i'm encouraged by perrenial characters that had episodic importance in my life, that have sought me out as of late. one last gamble for the old tai pan. karma.
i couldn't dodge, they found me somehow. i woke up tuesday to discover that daniel had been given the job i had just quit. it was a bizarre twist of karma. as far as the staffing agency is concerned, daniel and i are step brothers; and it was almost a 'new world order'-esque attempt by corporate america to rip families apart. i gave daniel my tips on how to make the job more tolerable and i've put it behind me. i've quit the staffing agency after almost two years. in these two years i've gone on quite a journey criss-crossing miami. i've worked the five commercial corners of dade county: brickell, washington ave, doral, kendall and coral gables. it's been quite an experience, i've met so many great larger than life people and so many sleazy scum of the earth people as well. it never ceases to amaze me that i'm connected to these people in other ways and discover our city and world aren't that big. the only thing i regret that i wasn't able to learn from all these people, was how to hold down a job permanently.
people everywhere keep their jobs for years and go to them everyday without fail. how can they wake up to the same routine year after year? whereas myself, on several occassions ended up as a well-paid slacker, found it to be intolerable. i'm trying to tackle that question now. and so i quit the staffing agency because i think it was preventing me from developing those kinds of qualities. and until i do, i'm really rather lost because i've just thrown out the plan that got me through the last two years so easily. even if i'm not working, there are changes going on everywhere. jose has moved out of our humble home and thus ushered in a transitionary era that will end when we all move out. his move was rather abrupt and i always perceive him to be so cold-hearted when he makes such abrupt moves, but he's excited about the future and there's nothing cold-hearted about that. i should be too. i'm going back to school and will be indulging in all sorts of activities i haven't be able to for two years. i will miss the convenience of having my best friend so close and being able to pick his brain whenever. it was kind of sad though, because he came by last night and took stevo and tubbs to his new home. it was hard to say goodbye to those cute creatures that have been a lot of fun to live with. it was a bit hard falling asleep, there wasn't enough cat hair on my bed and the excess oxygen i breathed in keeps me up at night.
the house is quiet during the day, while everyone's at work. so i try to keep myself entertained by taking long bike rides. i worm through back roads and find more connections between places, mapping out the small details of the nearby areas, everyday i cover more ground. i've found many places where the sidewalk ends. and many a familiar face walking down the road, or stuck in traffic, or just hanging out at some coincedental place will call out my name and snap me out of my bicycle-driven reverie. carlos came by sometime during the week and we listened to all of 'zaireeka' in an almost perfectly synchronized caucophony. overall it is an amazing cd. it's difficulty to setup is worth it. i also had dinner with elly and daniel at this thai place. i discovered that thai food is uber delicious and that thai donuts beat american donuts hands down.
i was quite a long walk away from home when my bicycle's chain suddenly fell off. i got my hands dirty, but i persuaded it get back on. it's the biggest pain in the ass to get it back on, but it somehow linked on again magically. and thankfully i wasn't stuck walking home and tempted to abandone my bike. my neighbor suzy got married yesterday. i saw them all as they were getting into their limo, everyone dressed to the nines. her family are great, wonderful people. i felt very welcomed as i joined the celebration late into the night. her cousins are keenly intelligent guys of a thousand absorptions.
if i find myself bored, i realize i still have much thinking to do to figure out a new way to get by. the strange, almost literary elements of my life these days make it hard not to just sit back and think into space. but i want to be a part of my own life, not just someone observing it and trying to figure it out. so i have other challenges too. there is a person who i'm struggling to know and connect with. i'm helped a bit by my karma which has already connected us in a weird way. maybe things will turn out ok. i'm encouraged by perrenial characters that had episodic importance in my life, that have sought me out as of late. one last gamble for the old tai pan. karma.