4 for 4
i've just moved for the fourth time in four years (2004, 2005, 2006, 2007; yup that's four years alright!). it's pretty nerve-racking. but at the same time i feel as though this is just a by-product of my usual mindset which hates routine. everything in my life has always been temporary. temporary jobs. temporary friends whom i get close to and then move on from & come back to later. temporary love interests that don't challenge me the way i want and eventually move on from too. even school feels temporary since no class is longer than 12 weeks.
i'm starting to see the drawbacks of what comes from the 'temp-only' mindset...
don't get me wrong, these last four years have undoubtably been the best of my life. the collection of people, events and ideas are invaluable to me and have helped me take a few big leaps forward to understanding this thing called the universe. and life. the human being. invisible guiding hands and intangible supranational mechanisms. love. fear (fear is the opposite of love, not hate). etc. and etc. oh and i can't forget about etcetera too.
but that understanding also comes with a sense of detachment and distance, which is needed to achieve objectivity i suppose...
and so, i also suppose it is more important to live life than it is to understand it. and perhaps in attempting to understand i cast too wide of a social net. looking for the big fish. the big pay off. the big answer. the big anything. while many, many valuable things simply sifted through.
when i was much younger i dabbled in the pure sciences. i wondered what made things work. what was the secret in the electrical energy that made objects springs to life. and so i attepmted to take them apart, rather unsuccessfully i might add, much to the chagrin of my father who often had to swoop in and correct my haphazard machinations.
as i grew a bit older my attention turned towards the mystery of social energy (wealth) and then finally to public institutions and their struggle with actors outside the public domain to attempt to control the ebb and flow of social energy.
so knowing my 'temp-only' mindset what will come next? how do u stop climbing a mountain when your view of what it overlooks gets more and more breath-taking with each step? i fear i'm close to hitting a ceiling on the physical realm and i loathe it's abstract 'meta' counterpart. so i suppose it's time to start climbing downward and see what ironically can't be seen by seeing the big picture.
i would say a majority of the world's problems stem from solutions being forced from the top down, when they really need to bubble up from the bottom
i'm starting to see the drawbacks of what comes from the 'temp-only' mindset...
don't get me wrong, these last four years have undoubtably been the best of my life. the collection of people, events and ideas are invaluable to me and have helped me take a few big leaps forward to understanding this thing called the universe. and life. the human being. invisible guiding hands and intangible supranational mechanisms. love. fear (fear is the opposite of love, not hate). etc. and etc. oh and i can't forget about etcetera too.
but that understanding also comes with a sense of detachment and distance, which is needed to achieve objectivity i suppose...
and so, i also suppose it is more important to live life than it is to understand it. and perhaps in attempting to understand i cast too wide of a social net. looking for the big fish. the big pay off. the big answer. the big anything. while many, many valuable things simply sifted through.
when i was much younger i dabbled in the pure sciences. i wondered what made things work. what was the secret in the electrical energy that made objects springs to life. and so i attepmted to take them apart, rather unsuccessfully i might add, much to the chagrin of my father who often had to swoop in and correct my haphazard machinations.
as i grew a bit older my attention turned towards the mystery of social energy (wealth) and then finally to public institutions and their struggle with actors outside the public domain to attempt to control the ebb and flow of social energy.
so knowing my 'temp-only' mindset what will come next? how do u stop climbing a mountain when your view of what it overlooks gets more and more breath-taking with each step? i fear i'm close to hitting a ceiling on the physical realm and i loathe it's abstract 'meta' counterpart. so i suppose it's time to start climbing downward and see what ironically can't be seen by seeing the big picture.
i would say a majority of the world's problems stem from solutions being forced from the top down, when they really need to bubble up from the bottom