Death Note/MoB Fic: Chapter 6
"The Possibility"
Chapter 1 and intro. stuff
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6: Partnership -- PG-13
All through their shift, L could feel Light's eyes eating him every time L glanced in the other direction. When Yagami-san relieved them, L grabbed his backpack, and they went to Light's room, never sharing a word.
It was 2:04 in the morning. Light clicked on white overhead lamp. The room glowed pale and cold as morning in the realm of the Shinigami.
Light faced him. "Let me see it, please." He held out his hand.
L unzipped the backpack and took it out, a chill-a thrill?-running through him as he surrendered the slender book.
Light stared at it fixedly, as a cat watches a beetle. The Shinigami lettering would look authentic to him-but, of course, that could be faked. That's what Light was thinking. After eleven seconds, he opened it and perused the pages, though L was 76 percent certain he couldn't read the characters.
L put his hands in his pockets and waited.
Light glanced around the room. "I don't see a Shinigami."
"Standing right here." L answered obvious with obvious.
Light half-smiled. "That, or it's a good facsimile."
"There's one way to find out, right?"
"Who are you planning to kill-or are you going to try to convince me to do it?"
L had already committed to this moment, or he'd told himself that. No, he was committed. But, like the suicide's leap, it was a final fall. He could feel the floor tip under him.
"You choose," he told Light, "on the condition it's someone we can both agree is clearly guilty of a crime that would earn the death penalty."
Light eyes blazed through him for a moment. Then, he put on his college-boy laugh. "Are you really this desperate to prove I'm Kira, Ryuuzaki? It's a shame you can't get over it and focus on looking for the real one."
That was a last ditch feint. Light was tired of this game; L could feel him on the cusp of relinquishing it.
He plucked the book from Light's hand. "Give me a name."
"For the sake of argument? Okay." Light strolled the window, absently opened the curtains, closed them. Then, he did give a name, a good one: a war criminal almost surely guilty but playing the appeals process for all it was worth. Moreover, his name had been kept out of the media: Misa would never have heard of him.
L took a steadying breath and told himself it was just like doing anything that made you nervous: like getting in the chair at the dentist's or taking your driver's test. "Do you have a pen?" Light crossed to his desk and brought him one. Another breath. L opened the first blank page and wrote the name, no instructions, and handed the book back to Light.
Light looked at the page for a moment, then back at L. "It will take a while for the report to show up in Interpol."
L felt hollow and mildly sick. "About twenty-five minutes." Reports of heart attacks had been fast-tracked since Kira. "I'm going to get supper; I'll be back." Heart pounding high in his chest, he replaced his Death Note in his backpack, turned, and propelled himself out the door, afraid to look back, afraid Light would follow.
But Light didn't.
And maybe after a box of chocolates, L would be focused enough to face him.
***
His focus only marginally improved, L got back to Light's room three minutes before he anticipated the report of the criminal's death.
When Light opened the door, his eyes were wide, innocent. L's chest contracted; had he been wrong all this time? Had he just revealed himself as a murderer to an innocent boy?
No. The odds were less than 1 percent.
"The report came early." Assuming a casual air, L brushed past Light into the room.
Light sat heavily in his desk chair, his laptop's screensaver swirling in front of him. He stared at the wall.
L stood and watched him till he felt bent with standing; then he curled himself in another chair and waited.
After five minutes, Light stirred. "You realize that I've installed recording devices in this room?"
"That's prudent, isn't it?"
"And that your writing that name is a matter of record?"
"You wouldn't have it any other way, would you?"
Light took a breath and drew himself up, his eyes now narrow: Kira's eyes that peeled your layers like skin from bone. "You truly are a Shinigami?"
L spread his hands wide on his knees. "I was born human, but my spirit is a Shinigami spirit. I didn't remember it, but now I do." He paused, then added his own statement of record: "It came back to me after you tried to kill me."
"Rem tried to kill you," Light murmured automatically.
How tired L was of this fencing. Best conclude it. "So, Yagami Light, do you turn me in for being Kira?"
A smile touched Light's lips, then a chuckle. Then, he laughed aloud.
He's going to do it. He's going to turn me in-though he'll be incriminated too for standing by and letting me kill that man. Yet my guilt's much starker. That's what he's counting on. How long did he have this planned?
Anger spread through L like tendrils of ice. He didn't fear death. But he could smash his fist into that smugness.
Light had stopped laughing. He looked... clean, his eyes glistening. "I never thought." He shook his head. "I never...." He gave another little laugh and shook his head again. "Never."
He's not going to turn me in. L frowned at him, unable to divine his thoughts.
Light smiled at L, with a... human feeling that was every inch the boy who'd forgotten he was Kira. "Okay. Let's talk about it. Just give me a couple of hours to catch up on my sleep and another hour to do some research-and we'll talk."
Research into who we'll kill. Can it work? The two of us together, tilting the world? Or tilting at windmills?
L stood. "I'll see you in three hours."
Will he really be able to sleep? Of course, he will. He is nothing if not a man of clean conscience.
Dizzy, L made for the door. Surely, his conscience was clean as well, his motives proper, his actions reasonable. Surely, this path-though steep-was the right way. Right. Righteous. Just. And yet those words troubled him.
***
Light settled in the chair opposite Ryuuzaki. His head felt full of helium, as if he'd float away. Ryuuzaki was on his side. Really. Maybe. It was too good to be true. It was maybe-true. Light pitched his voice calm and said, "I've assembled a preliminary list of names-in my head, of course."
Ryuuzaki was fiddling with the small white-noise generator he'd brought to Light's room. "If we're going to accomplish this, we need a set of general principles first."
"I have a set of general principles. My selections are criminal, at least in spirit, and in positions of power that are key without being high profile."
Ryuuzaki set down the generator and gave Light one his black-hole stares. "All right. Tell me their names, please."
Light did so and waited while Ryuuzaki's gaze slipped inward. Is he actually thinking it through or waiting to spring a trap? But what can he spring? I have him dead to rights on record.
"You're focusing on the Middle-East?" Ryuuzaki asked finally.
"It's a good test bed: an area of profound global importance, entrenched problems, and a fascination with martyrdom that challenges the efficacy of our tools."
After a moment, Ryuuzaki said, "It's true that we should focus on figures in positions of military-industrial economic power. We accord there. But within such institutions, the heirs to our... selections would be numerous and largely cut from the same cloth."
Light leaned back in his chair. "They can also be eliminated."
"You are bent on remaining Kira, aren't you?"
"What?"
"You find it impossible to overcome the allure of being the acknowledged god."
"I don't find anything imposs-" That's exactly what he wants me to say. "I'm simply making a statement of fact. Yes, if we select, for example, several prominent stakeholders in the same industry, their deaths will almost certainly be attributed to Kira. I don't consider that an advantage. It means we'll have to move with extreme caution under constant threat of police interference. But as you yourself just pointed out, there are numerous people in need of elimination, so--"
"So, as I said, we plainly need to establish a more workable set of principles."
Of all the nerve. "I was 'establishing principles' before you ever heard of Kira."
"It's surprising, given your intelligence, that you can't do so more astutely."
He's baiting me again. Why...?
Or is there a "why"? Aren't we on the same side? Or are we? We must be. Is he just randomly angry? Because of Watari? Then, he'll be angry forever.
Light took a breath and made his muscles relax. "Okay, Ryuuzaki, what's your brilliant plan?"
"I hold it a fundamental premise that we cannot let our influence be felt."
"That's an arbitrary and dangerous absolutism."
"Name a human society that ever endured in the long-term under a reign based on fear and punishment?"
Light smiled slightly. "Every society that ever had a god."
"Punishment in the human sphere, Light."
"We're not in the human sphere."
"We are not g-"
"But we will be perceived as such to them, and their perceptions are the origin of the fear we're talking about. It's an entirely stable principle."
Ryuuzaki stood and, wandering to the kitchenette of Light's room, put on coffee. "Our actions will not be sufficiently consistent for such stability. Fear of the gods is ultimately fear of nature: of misusing the land, of illness and injury. We are human minds: we cannot function with the regularity of such natural processes." He started grouping packets of sugar and sugar substitutes into their various kinds on the counter. "You know, one of my first thoughts about Kira was that his actions were far too petty to be a god's."
"I'm wounded," said Light, to hide the fact that he was.
"My point is we'll move more strongly if unseen. You just agreed to that."
"Yes, to that. Not to this 'fundamental premises' business."
"Very well. To move unseen, we can only... interfere with one or two people in any major organization."
"Well, that's a problem because there will be more than one or two to eliminate."
"Coffee?"
Light watched Ryuuzaki pour all the sweeteners into his own cup. "Good thing I take mine straight up," he remarked. A second later, it struck him that his wording was unfortunate. Ryuuzaki handed him his cup without comment.
Crouched his chair, coffee cup clutched in both hands, he reminded Light of a squirrel with a nut. "You need to examine the problem from the other side, Light. We must focus not on who to eliminate but on who will replace them."
"The noble CEO?"
"You may smirk, but isn't that your ultimate aim?"
"Without putting the fear of God into them-so to speak?"
Ryuuzaki stared into his coffee. "There are some... a few. Not saints, I mean, but those with record of business success combined with relatively uncompromised ethics."
"How few, I wonder?"
"Few enough that we can make way for them without our presence being traced. And surely you're aware this world moves by the will of a very few."
Light sipped his coffee and wished he had sugar. "Okay. Names?"
It took them hours to agree on a preliminary sketch of the circumstances of just one of Ryuuzaki's choices. They tabled their discussion while they went on shift, then went back to Light's room and argued some more.
But in the end, they made progress. A very little progress toward a better world. But for Light and Ryuuzaki as people, it meant more. It felt real to Light, as if Ryuuzaki's open self had emerged from behind his eyes, like a rabbit creeping out of its hole. No games, no pretense.
Was that possible?
It was past midnight, and the caffeine had long since worn off. Light yawned. "I think that's all I can process for tonight."
"Me too," said Ryuuzaki, a little to Light's surprise.
"One more thing: Asuka's toying with me."
Ryuuzaki eyed him.
"There's no way in hell it's taking them this long to deal with those spirits. If it were really as thorny as they pretend, they'd be a lot more preoccupied and a lot less evasive whenever I ask them for a progress report."
"Agreed."
"She won't give anything up to me. But she likes you, right?"
"I'll see about it."
Would he? Would it be that simple?
"Thanks." A smile played across Light's lips. How absolutely weird it was to have someone-someone really smart, not Misa-in his corner, helping him cover the bases. How long had it been since he'd had anyone to rely on that way? Long enough that he didn't like the reliance. He'd naturally form a plan for double-checking things with Asuka. But if Ryuuzaki made it even just a little easier...
Light yawned again, feeling sleepy and released, and found his mind wandering to the evening he'd bugged Asuka and Tachibana, how they'd just gone to bed together, like friends. As Ryuuzaki washed out his coffee cup, Light ran through several possible ways to phrase his next question.
"Stay, okay, Ryuuzaki?"
Ryuuzaki gave him a slow look. "Stay?"
"Just stay."
"Asuka-san once asked me to stay."
"Really?" That startled Light. "You know, I hate to break it to you, but you're a bit close to kissing and telling."
He dried his cup to meticulously. "I didn't have sex with her."
"Yeah well, I said 'kissing,' didn't I?"
Ryuuzaki made no reply, which could only mean one thing. But it wasn't significant: so he'd kissed her, and she was Light's enemy-but so was Ryuuzaki till a few days ago. So that made sense. So they'd been allies in the past, but now Ryuuzaki and Light were allies. Light did, in general, trust in that, though he was, of course, still recording their conversations just in case.
It got trickier, though, because it wasn't Asuka who rattled Light. It was Ryuuzaki: the idea of his kissing anyone. Why should that bother Light? He wasn't interested in Ryuuzaki for that.
Didn't matter. The cure for discomfort was proactivity, so Light crossed to Ryuuzaki and embraced him from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder. He caught sight of them in the mirror for a moment-Ryuuzaki staring dully at their reflections.
Light looked away. "I'm not suggesting sex. Frankly, I'd find it rather pedestrian. I'm just suggesting we spend some time not talking shop. If we're going to do this work together, we should. We should be friends, right?"
Ryuuzaki twisted in his embrace until they were half facing each other. Light felt an arm slip around his back. Their faces bent close enough for Ryuuzaki's hair to brush Light's forehead.
"So you're suggesting tennis?" Ryuuzaki adopted the voice Light liked to call Pretense-of-Serious-Discussion.
"Yeah. I'll string up the net between the dresser the doorknob."
"I wonder what Misa would say."
"I don't think she really understands tennis." Light moved toward the bed, pleased to feel Ryuuzaki in step beside him.
Light threw back the covers and flopped into bed fully dressed-because this wasn't one of Misa's T.V. dramas after all. Ryuuzaki got in beside him and promptly curled into a ball, facing away. Pretty much like when they'd been chained together.
Light watched his motionless back for a moment, then put an exploratory hand on his arm. Ryuuzaki didn't respond, except to let his arm be shifted a little. Light did not want to put himself in the position of being rebuffed by Ryuuzaki, so he wouldn't make any grand moves. Instead, he inched closer, until he could rest his head on the pillow and brush his forehead against Ryuuzaki's shoulder.
It surprised him that Ryuuzaki's smelled so familiar. It made sense, of course: they'd lived so closely together when they'd been chained up. But Light didn't remember taking note of it his scent.
Yes, he did. He'd simply tried not to dwell on it because their enforced intimacy had made him uncomfortable, would make anyone uncomfortable.
He didn't mind it now. It was nice here. It was peaceful. When had peace begun to matter anyway?
***
Light awoke sweltering, pinned underneath an arm and a leg. His first thought was: Why did I go to bed with some giant body-building woman... who smells like a man?
A second later, he realized--
And he thought ruefully, Chaining me up wasn't enough; now he's going to forcibly hold me down until I confess to being Kira.
Then he remembered. And with a sigh of relief, he reflected it wasn't so bad to swelter.
Light lay very still, assessing. Unless he was putting up a very good act, Ryuuzaki was still asleep, his breathing, close to Light's neck, slow and deep. He was clinging to Light like a bear to a tree.
Is he really a Shinigami-or one in spirit? And what does it mean if he is? It seemed an important question, yet Light found he didn't care. This was L; it was Ryuuzaki. That was all he needed to know.
Light had never known Ryuuzaki this way. They'd slept in the same bed when they'd been chained together. But that arrangement had been functional and unpleasant, like using the bathroom with the door not quite closed because the chain was too thick, or having policemen uncuff them and stand by while they dressed and undressed.
Now it was just them, alone-alone on the world-body to body.
When he shifted from his back onto his side, Ryuuzaki groaned and opened his eyes: big, bleary eyes that stared at Light till slowly they cleared and took on a deep dejection.
"It's heavy, isn't it?" said Ryuuzaki at last.
Yes, the duty of Kira could press down like a tomb. "Yes, it's heavy. But it's lighter with two of us."
Ryuuzaki turned away from him. He'd just taken half the weight off Light; of course, he only felt the burden. Did he have second thoughts?
What if this were all a trap?
"Ryuuzaki, we agreed-"
"Yes. We did, didn't we?"
Light got up on his elbow to gaze down at him. He pressed his face to Ryuuzaki's. His nose met Ryuuzaki's cheek, rough with stubble. It struck him as strange. Despite his slovenly appearance, Ryuuzaki had always appeared clean-shaven. Light tried to remember him shaving when they'd been chained, but he couldn't. He probably shaved in the shower.
Why do I care? Why do I want to learn every detail of him?
"The investigation--" Ryuuzaki began.
"Will fizzle out if Kira stops killing."
"Undeniably. And with your father on the force, there's a 94 percent chance I can make them believe you're innocent. But officially closing the investigation with no arrest..."
"I promise you," said Light, "no one wants to devote his career to finding a phantom who's not doing anything anymore. If we're discreet, we'll be free."
We'll be floating: floating on an ocean I thought would drown me.
Ryuuzaki flashed the ghost of a smile. "Free."
Light bent and kissed him. For a long moment, they simply pressed their lips together. This is not sex, he thought. He wasn't aroused. It was more... sacred, like a ceremony... like a marriage, not in the sexual sense but more broadly: a union of two halves. A match... a...
How did it go, from the Epic of Gilgamesh in that honors course Light had taken? When Gilgamesh dreamed of Enkidu, his mother explained, This man is your match and will be your friend. And they killed the beast together.
When they broke the kiss, Ryuuzaki turned his face away again but still embraced Light. They caressed automatically, a natural thing to do. Ryuuzaki's hand moved slowly up and down Light's shoulder, Light's hand along Ryuuzaki's chest, across his nipples and down his ribs and up again.
"It's better this way," said Light. "You should be pleased to think of all those criminals who won't die."
Ryuuzaki said nothing.
Light moved to kiss him again-because he'd found it an effective tactic for winning over women... and because he wanted to. But Ryuuzaki didn't turn to him, so Light ended up kissing his cheek. Ryuuzaki couldn't have reacted less if he'd been dead. Misa would never behave that way.
Why was Ryuuzaki here with him?
For that matter, why was Light here? He'd never been attracted to a man. Even now, the thought of their actually having sex mildly disgusted him. Yet we will do it someday, Light realized, as naturally as breathing, as touching. It will be part of us.
It would work. They'd both work for the police, do good solving crimes. And behind the scenes, they would steer the world with judicious killing. Light wouldn't have to marry Misa. He'd break up with her as soon as he found a good home for her Death Note, and she'd rant and cry and go back to her film career. And Light would marry a calmer woman, someone like his mother, who could keep a good house. He'd give her a decent house and a decent income and a couple of children.
But his real life he'd pass with Ryuuzaki. They'd plan; they'd kill; they'd play tennis and talk, and lie in bed knowing every contour of each other.
Ryuuzaki's voice broke Light out of his reverie. "I wish I- wish-"
"What?"
Ryuuzaki fixed big eyes on him. "I wish I could take you to England. I wish I could... get you away from this, just for a while."
"Nowhere's away from this."
"I know." Ryuuzaki pulled away. "I'm on duty in twelve minutes." He got out of bed and ran his fingers absently through his hair, producing no change whatever.
"Ryuuzaki?"
"Yes, Light?"
"I truly am... I am truly sorry about Watari. He shouldn't have died. It was a mistake." For the first time, Light meant every word.
Ryuuzaki didn't look at him. He seemed focused on smoothing the creases in his shirt, even though the material didn't crease.
"I know it doesn't help much for me say that," said Light. "But I can't bring him back. It's all I can say."
Ryuuzaki's hands fell limp at his sides. "Light, there is one thing you can do."
"What's that?"
"Never mention Watari to me." Without waiting for a reply, he went out.
***
Two waves with opposite oscillations produce a flat line. A flat line, L knocked on Asuka's door. He hated Light for killing Mr. Wammy. He needed Light. He needed to protect him. That truth was the glimmer that shone through the haze.
Asuka opened the door at once. "I know. I'm late for my patrol. But the barriers I set up are still in place."
L brushed past her into her room. "The barriers are unnecessary because the spirits are gone."
Asuka snorted. "Oh indeed?"
"I gave you the identity of the spirit leader you were seeking. You and Tachibana-san were gone overnight. He did not return to the hotel, and I have confirmed he has returned to his home, and you show no sign of discomfort in his absence, so you are not waiting for him to assist you. Therefore, the two of you have dealt with Misora's spirit. Therefore, the spirits she was guiding have either been exorcised, been dispersed, or are still present at your whim-which can be readily ascertained by subjecting Light to their presence for a few moments. In which case-"
"Which could kill him."
"Perhaps you'd let him die, but I will have witnesses present that will make that option unviable for you. And if the spirits are still present, I will issue an official order for you to exorcise them or face arrest."
Asuka crossed her arms. "You want him wandering the streets?"
"We can't keep him locked up forever." L put his hands in his pockets and tried to look as flat as he felt.
"So you're packing it in, huh?"
He watched his feet. "Thank you for your assistance, Asuka-san. As soon as we have verified that the spirits are gone, you are relieved of your duties to this investigation."
She laughed. "What investigation?"
"We can conduct a test of the perimeter of the building this afternoon."
"Ryuuzaki." He glanced up at his name to see her face dead serious. "You can't set him free. You realize that, don't you? So maybe you can influence him, but he influences you too. And you're going to rule the world together? That's the plan?"
"As chief investigator in a classified case, I'm not at liberty to respond to your conjectures."
"You know who you sound-"
"At 1:00 p.m., we will conduct a perimeter check of this building." L kept his voice low to disguise how she rankled him. "That's all."
He moved to go, but vertigo took him. A force, like air, but windless pinned him to the wall. His heart beat wildly. When he found he could breathe freely, he tried taking deep breaths.
"Like hell that's all," snapped Asuka, her hand pointed at him, projecting some energy. How many powers did she have? "Grow the hell up, and stop playing this teen romance crap you've clearly got going with him."
Yes, that's what it was; he'd slipped into a romance novel. "Asuka-san, you can't hypnotize me-or keep him hypnotized while I'm watching him. You can't keep me here forever. Plainly, you could kill me, but that would not address your principal problem. So why don't you stop this computer game superhero crap and let me report for my shift?"
For a moment, she stood frozen. Then, she dropped her hand abruptly and he fell hard to his knees.
"Fuck you," she said, low and cold. "The damn spirits are gone." She flung her backpack on her bed and started throwing her clothes into it. "Get the hell out of my room."
"We'll still perform a test-"
"Fine. Just get the hell out."
Striving to hide his shaking, L obeyed. In the hallway, he leaned against the wall till his heart slowed. She wasn't finished with them; that was obvious. But now, at least, they'd have breathing room. Take things one at a time. One hurdle, then another... for the rest of our lives.
Chapter 1 and intro. stuff
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6: Partnership -- PG-13
All through their shift, L could feel Light's eyes eating him every time L glanced in the other direction. When Yagami-san relieved them, L grabbed his backpack, and they went to Light's room, never sharing a word.
It was 2:04 in the morning. Light clicked on white overhead lamp. The room glowed pale and cold as morning in the realm of the Shinigami.
Light faced him. "Let me see it, please." He held out his hand.
L unzipped the backpack and took it out, a chill-a thrill?-running through him as he surrendered the slender book.
Light stared at it fixedly, as a cat watches a beetle. The Shinigami lettering would look authentic to him-but, of course, that could be faked. That's what Light was thinking. After eleven seconds, he opened it and perused the pages, though L was 76 percent certain he couldn't read the characters.
L put his hands in his pockets and waited.
Light glanced around the room. "I don't see a Shinigami."
"Standing right here." L answered obvious with obvious.
Light half-smiled. "That, or it's a good facsimile."
"There's one way to find out, right?"
"Who are you planning to kill-or are you going to try to convince me to do it?"
L had already committed to this moment, or he'd told himself that. No, he was committed. But, like the suicide's leap, it was a final fall. He could feel the floor tip under him.
"You choose," he told Light, "on the condition it's someone we can both agree is clearly guilty of a crime that would earn the death penalty."
Light eyes blazed through him for a moment. Then, he put on his college-boy laugh. "Are you really this desperate to prove I'm Kira, Ryuuzaki? It's a shame you can't get over it and focus on looking for the real one."
That was a last ditch feint. Light was tired of this game; L could feel him on the cusp of relinquishing it.
He plucked the book from Light's hand. "Give me a name."
"For the sake of argument? Okay." Light strolled the window, absently opened the curtains, closed them. Then, he did give a name, a good one: a war criminal almost surely guilty but playing the appeals process for all it was worth. Moreover, his name had been kept out of the media: Misa would never have heard of him.
L took a steadying breath and told himself it was just like doing anything that made you nervous: like getting in the chair at the dentist's or taking your driver's test. "Do you have a pen?" Light crossed to his desk and brought him one. Another breath. L opened the first blank page and wrote the name, no instructions, and handed the book back to Light.
Light looked at the page for a moment, then back at L. "It will take a while for the report to show up in Interpol."
L felt hollow and mildly sick. "About twenty-five minutes." Reports of heart attacks had been fast-tracked since Kira. "I'm going to get supper; I'll be back." Heart pounding high in his chest, he replaced his Death Note in his backpack, turned, and propelled himself out the door, afraid to look back, afraid Light would follow.
But Light didn't.
And maybe after a box of chocolates, L would be focused enough to face him.
***
His focus only marginally improved, L got back to Light's room three minutes before he anticipated the report of the criminal's death.
When Light opened the door, his eyes were wide, innocent. L's chest contracted; had he been wrong all this time? Had he just revealed himself as a murderer to an innocent boy?
No. The odds were less than 1 percent.
"The report came early." Assuming a casual air, L brushed past Light into the room.
Light sat heavily in his desk chair, his laptop's screensaver swirling in front of him. He stared at the wall.
L stood and watched him till he felt bent with standing; then he curled himself in another chair and waited.
After five minutes, Light stirred. "You realize that I've installed recording devices in this room?"
"That's prudent, isn't it?"
"And that your writing that name is a matter of record?"
"You wouldn't have it any other way, would you?"
Light took a breath and drew himself up, his eyes now narrow: Kira's eyes that peeled your layers like skin from bone. "You truly are a Shinigami?"
L spread his hands wide on his knees. "I was born human, but my spirit is a Shinigami spirit. I didn't remember it, but now I do." He paused, then added his own statement of record: "It came back to me after you tried to kill me."
"Rem tried to kill you," Light murmured automatically.
How tired L was of this fencing. Best conclude it. "So, Yagami Light, do you turn me in for being Kira?"
A smile touched Light's lips, then a chuckle. Then, he laughed aloud.
He's going to do it. He's going to turn me in-though he'll be incriminated too for standing by and letting me kill that man. Yet my guilt's much starker. That's what he's counting on. How long did he have this planned?
Anger spread through L like tendrils of ice. He didn't fear death. But he could smash his fist into that smugness.
Light had stopped laughing. He looked... clean, his eyes glistening. "I never thought." He shook his head. "I never...." He gave another little laugh and shook his head again. "Never."
He's not going to turn me in. L frowned at him, unable to divine his thoughts.
Light smiled at L, with a... human feeling that was every inch the boy who'd forgotten he was Kira. "Okay. Let's talk about it. Just give me a couple of hours to catch up on my sleep and another hour to do some research-and we'll talk."
Research into who we'll kill. Can it work? The two of us together, tilting the world? Or tilting at windmills?
L stood. "I'll see you in three hours."
Will he really be able to sleep? Of course, he will. He is nothing if not a man of clean conscience.
Dizzy, L made for the door. Surely, his conscience was clean as well, his motives proper, his actions reasonable. Surely, this path-though steep-was the right way. Right. Righteous. Just. And yet those words troubled him.
***
Light settled in the chair opposite Ryuuzaki. His head felt full of helium, as if he'd float away. Ryuuzaki was on his side. Really. Maybe. It was too good to be true. It was maybe-true. Light pitched his voice calm and said, "I've assembled a preliminary list of names-in my head, of course."
Ryuuzaki was fiddling with the small white-noise generator he'd brought to Light's room. "If we're going to accomplish this, we need a set of general principles first."
"I have a set of general principles. My selections are criminal, at least in spirit, and in positions of power that are key without being high profile."
Ryuuzaki set down the generator and gave Light one his black-hole stares. "All right. Tell me their names, please."
Light did so and waited while Ryuuzaki's gaze slipped inward. Is he actually thinking it through or waiting to spring a trap? But what can he spring? I have him dead to rights on record.
"You're focusing on the Middle-East?" Ryuuzaki asked finally.
"It's a good test bed: an area of profound global importance, entrenched problems, and a fascination with martyrdom that challenges the efficacy of our tools."
After a moment, Ryuuzaki said, "It's true that we should focus on figures in positions of military-industrial economic power. We accord there. But within such institutions, the heirs to our... selections would be numerous and largely cut from the same cloth."
Light leaned back in his chair. "They can also be eliminated."
"You are bent on remaining Kira, aren't you?"
"What?"
"You find it impossible to overcome the allure of being the acknowledged god."
"I don't find anything imposs-" That's exactly what he wants me to say. "I'm simply making a statement of fact. Yes, if we select, for example, several prominent stakeholders in the same industry, their deaths will almost certainly be attributed to Kira. I don't consider that an advantage. It means we'll have to move with extreme caution under constant threat of police interference. But as you yourself just pointed out, there are numerous people in need of elimination, so--"
"So, as I said, we plainly need to establish a more workable set of principles."
Of all the nerve. "I was 'establishing principles' before you ever heard of Kira."
"It's surprising, given your intelligence, that you can't do so more astutely."
He's baiting me again. Why...?
Or is there a "why"? Aren't we on the same side? Or are we? We must be. Is he just randomly angry? Because of Watari? Then, he'll be angry forever.
Light took a breath and made his muscles relax. "Okay, Ryuuzaki, what's your brilliant plan?"
"I hold it a fundamental premise that we cannot let our influence be felt."
"That's an arbitrary and dangerous absolutism."
"Name a human society that ever endured in the long-term under a reign based on fear and punishment?"
Light smiled slightly. "Every society that ever had a god."
"Punishment in the human sphere, Light."
"We're not in the human sphere."
"We are not g-"
"But we will be perceived as such to them, and their perceptions are the origin of the fear we're talking about. It's an entirely stable principle."
Ryuuzaki stood and, wandering to the kitchenette of Light's room, put on coffee. "Our actions will not be sufficiently consistent for such stability. Fear of the gods is ultimately fear of nature: of misusing the land, of illness and injury. We are human minds: we cannot function with the regularity of such natural processes." He started grouping packets of sugar and sugar substitutes into their various kinds on the counter. "You know, one of my first thoughts about Kira was that his actions were far too petty to be a god's."
"I'm wounded," said Light, to hide the fact that he was.
"My point is we'll move more strongly if unseen. You just agreed to that."
"Yes, to that. Not to this 'fundamental premises' business."
"Very well. To move unseen, we can only... interfere with one or two people in any major organization."
"Well, that's a problem because there will be more than one or two to eliminate."
"Coffee?"
Light watched Ryuuzaki pour all the sweeteners into his own cup. "Good thing I take mine straight up," he remarked. A second later, it struck him that his wording was unfortunate. Ryuuzaki handed him his cup without comment.
Crouched his chair, coffee cup clutched in both hands, he reminded Light of a squirrel with a nut. "You need to examine the problem from the other side, Light. We must focus not on who to eliminate but on who will replace them."
"The noble CEO?"
"You may smirk, but isn't that your ultimate aim?"
"Without putting the fear of God into them-so to speak?"
Ryuuzaki stared into his coffee. "There are some... a few. Not saints, I mean, but those with record of business success combined with relatively uncompromised ethics."
"How few, I wonder?"
"Few enough that we can make way for them without our presence being traced. And surely you're aware this world moves by the will of a very few."
Light sipped his coffee and wished he had sugar. "Okay. Names?"
It took them hours to agree on a preliminary sketch of the circumstances of just one of Ryuuzaki's choices. They tabled their discussion while they went on shift, then went back to Light's room and argued some more.
But in the end, they made progress. A very little progress toward a better world. But for Light and Ryuuzaki as people, it meant more. It felt real to Light, as if Ryuuzaki's open self had emerged from behind his eyes, like a rabbit creeping out of its hole. No games, no pretense.
Was that possible?
It was past midnight, and the caffeine had long since worn off. Light yawned. "I think that's all I can process for tonight."
"Me too," said Ryuuzaki, a little to Light's surprise.
"One more thing: Asuka's toying with me."
Ryuuzaki eyed him.
"There's no way in hell it's taking them this long to deal with those spirits. If it were really as thorny as they pretend, they'd be a lot more preoccupied and a lot less evasive whenever I ask them for a progress report."
"Agreed."
"She won't give anything up to me. But she likes you, right?"
"I'll see about it."
Would he? Would it be that simple?
"Thanks." A smile played across Light's lips. How absolutely weird it was to have someone-someone really smart, not Misa-in his corner, helping him cover the bases. How long had it been since he'd had anyone to rely on that way? Long enough that he didn't like the reliance. He'd naturally form a plan for double-checking things with Asuka. But if Ryuuzaki made it even just a little easier...
Light yawned again, feeling sleepy and released, and found his mind wandering to the evening he'd bugged Asuka and Tachibana, how they'd just gone to bed together, like friends. As Ryuuzaki washed out his coffee cup, Light ran through several possible ways to phrase his next question.
"Stay, okay, Ryuuzaki?"
Ryuuzaki gave him a slow look. "Stay?"
"Just stay."
"Asuka-san once asked me to stay."
"Really?" That startled Light. "You know, I hate to break it to you, but you're a bit close to kissing and telling."
He dried his cup to meticulously. "I didn't have sex with her."
"Yeah well, I said 'kissing,' didn't I?"
Ryuuzaki made no reply, which could only mean one thing. But it wasn't significant: so he'd kissed her, and she was Light's enemy-but so was Ryuuzaki till a few days ago. So that made sense. So they'd been allies in the past, but now Ryuuzaki and Light were allies. Light did, in general, trust in that, though he was, of course, still recording their conversations just in case.
It got trickier, though, because it wasn't Asuka who rattled Light. It was Ryuuzaki: the idea of his kissing anyone. Why should that bother Light? He wasn't interested in Ryuuzaki for that.
Didn't matter. The cure for discomfort was proactivity, so Light crossed to Ryuuzaki and embraced him from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder. He caught sight of them in the mirror for a moment-Ryuuzaki staring dully at their reflections.
Light looked away. "I'm not suggesting sex. Frankly, I'd find it rather pedestrian. I'm just suggesting we spend some time not talking shop. If we're going to do this work together, we should. We should be friends, right?"
Ryuuzaki twisted in his embrace until they were half facing each other. Light felt an arm slip around his back. Their faces bent close enough for Ryuuzaki's hair to brush Light's forehead.
"So you're suggesting tennis?" Ryuuzaki adopted the voice Light liked to call Pretense-of-Serious-Discussion.
"Yeah. I'll string up the net between the dresser the doorknob."
"I wonder what Misa would say."
"I don't think she really understands tennis." Light moved toward the bed, pleased to feel Ryuuzaki in step beside him.
Light threw back the covers and flopped into bed fully dressed-because this wasn't one of Misa's T.V. dramas after all. Ryuuzaki got in beside him and promptly curled into a ball, facing away. Pretty much like when they'd been chained together.
Light watched his motionless back for a moment, then put an exploratory hand on his arm. Ryuuzaki didn't respond, except to let his arm be shifted a little. Light did not want to put himself in the position of being rebuffed by Ryuuzaki, so he wouldn't make any grand moves. Instead, he inched closer, until he could rest his head on the pillow and brush his forehead against Ryuuzaki's shoulder.
It surprised him that Ryuuzaki's smelled so familiar. It made sense, of course: they'd lived so closely together when they'd been chained up. But Light didn't remember taking note of it his scent.
Yes, he did. He'd simply tried not to dwell on it because their enforced intimacy had made him uncomfortable, would make anyone uncomfortable.
He didn't mind it now. It was nice here. It was peaceful. When had peace begun to matter anyway?
***
Light awoke sweltering, pinned underneath an arm and a leg. His first thought was: Why did I go to bed with some giant body-building woman... who smells like a man?
A second later, he realized--
And he thought ruefully, Chaining me up wasn't enough; now he's going to forcibly hold me down until I confess to being Kira.
Then he remembered. And with a sigh of relief, he reflected it wasn't so bad to swelter.
Light lay very still, assessing. Unless he was putting up a very good act, Ryuuzaki was still asleep, his breathing, close to Light's neck, slow and deep. He was clinging to Light like a bear to a tree.
Is he really a Shinigami-or one in spirit? And what does it mean if he is? It seemed an important question, yet Light found he didn't care. This was L; it was Ryuuzaki. That was all he needed to know.
Light had never known Ryuuzaki this way. They'd slept in the same bed when they'd been chained together. But that arrangement had been functional and unpleasant, like using the bathroom with the door not quite closed because the chain was too thick, or having policemen uncuff them and stand by while they dressed and undressed.
Now it was just them, alone-alone on the world-body to body.
When he shifted from his back onto his side, Ryuuzaki groaned and opened his eyes: big, bleary eyes that stared at Light till slowly they cleared and took on a deep dejection.
"It's heavy, isn't it?" said Ryuuzaki at last.
Yes, the duty of Kira could press down like a tomb. "Yes, it's heavy. But it's lighter with two of us."
Ryuuzaki turned away from him. He'd just taken half the weight off Light; of course, he only felt the burden. Did he have second thoughts?
What if this were all a trap?
"Ryuuzaki, we agreed-"
"Yes. We did, didn't we?"
Light got up on his elbow to gaze down at him. He pressed his face to Ryuuzaki's. His nose met Ryuuzaki's cheek, rough with stubble. It struck him as strange. Despite his slovenly appearance, Ryuuzaki had always appeared clean-shaven. Light tried to remember him shaving when they'd been chained, but he couldn't. He probably shaved in the shower.
Why do I care? Why do I want to learn every detail of him?
"The investigation--" Ryuuzaki began.
"Will fizzle out if Kira stops killing."
"Undeniably. And with your father on the force, there's a 94 percent chance I can make them believe you're innocent. But officially closing the investigation with no arrest..."
"I promise you," said Light, "no one wants to devote his career to finding a phantom who's not doing anything anymore. If we're discreet, we'll be free."
We'll be floating: floating on an ocean I thought would drown me.
Ryuuzaki flashed the ghost of a smile. "Free."
Light bent and kissed him. For a long moment, they simply pressed their lips together. This is not sex, he thought. He wasn't aroused. It was more... sacred, like a ceremony... like a marriage, not in the sexual sense but more broadly: a union of two halves. A match... a...
How did it go, from the Epic of Gilgamesh in that honors course Light had taken? When Gilgamesh dreamed of Enkidu, his mother explained, This man is your match and will be your friend. And they killed the beast together.
When they broke the kiss, Ryuuzaki turned his face away again but still embraced Light. They caressed automatically, a natural thing to do. Ryuuzaki's hand moved slowly up and down Light's shoulder, Light's hand along Ryuuzaki's chest, across his nipples and down his ribs and up again.
"It's better this way," said Light. "You should be pleased to think of all those criminals who won't die."
Ryuuzaki said nothing.
Light moved to kiss him again-because he'd found it an effective tactic for winning over women... and because he wanted to. But Ryuuzaki didn't turn to him, so Light ended up kissing his cheek. Ryuuzaki couldn't have reacted less if he'd been dead. Misa would never behave that way.
Why was Ryuuzaki here with him?
For that matter, why was Light here? He'd never been attracted to a man. Even now, the thought of their actually having sex mildly disgusted him. Yet we will do it someday, Light realized, as naturally as breathing, as touching. It will be part of us.
It would work. They'd both work for the police, do good solving crimes. And behind the scenes, they would steer the world with judicious killing. Light wouldn't have to marry Misa. He'd break up with her as soon as he found a good home for her Death Note, and she'd rant and cry and go back to her film career. And Light would marry a calmer woman, someone like his mother, who could keep a good house. He'd give her a decent house and a decent income and a couple of children.
But his real life he'd pass with Ryuuzaki. They'd plan; they'd kill; they'd play tennis and talk, and lie in bed knowing every contour of each other.
Ryuuzaki's voice broke Light out of his reverie. "I wish I- wish-"
"What?"
Ryuuzaki fixed big eyes on him. "I wish I could take you to England. I wish I could... get you away from this, just for a while."
"Nowhere's away from this."
"I know." Ryuuzaki pulled away. "I'm on duty in twelve minutes." He got out of bed and ran his fingers absently through his hair, producing no change whatever.
"Ryuuzaki?"
"Yes, Light?"
"I truly am... I am truly sorry about Watari. He shouldn't have died. It was a mistake." For the first time, Light meant every word.
Ryuuzaki didn't look at him. He seemed focused on smoothing the creases in his shirt, even though the material didn't crease.
"I know it doesn't help much for me say that," said Light. "But I can't bring him back. It's all I can say."
Ryuuzaki's hands fell limp at his sides. "Light, there is one thing you can do."
"What's that?"
"Never mention Watari to me." Without waiting for a reply, he went out.
***
Two waves with opposite oscillations produce a flat line. A flat line, L knocked on Asuka's door. He hated Light for killing Mr. Wammy. He needed Light. He needed to protect him. That truth was the glimmer that shone through the haze.
Asuka opened the door at once. "I know. I'm late for my patrol. But the barriers I set up are still in place."
L brushed past her into her room. "The barriers are unnecessary because the spirits are gone."
Asuka snorted. "Oh indeed?"
"I gave you the identity of the spirit leader you were seeking. You and Tachibana-san were gone overnight. He did not return to the hotel, and I have confirmed he has returned to his home, and you show no sign of discomfort in his absence, so you are not waiting for him to assist you. Therefore, the two of you have dealt with Misora's spirit. Therefore, the spirits she was guiding have either been exorcised, been dispersed, or are still present at your whim-which can be readily ascertained by subjecting Light to their presence for a few moments. In which case-"
"Which could kill him."
"Perhaps you'd let him die, but I will have witnesses present that will make that option unviable for you. And if the spirits are still present, I will issue an official order for you to exorcise them or face arrest."
Asuka crossed her arms. "You want him wandering the streets?"
"We can't keep him locked up forever." L put his hands in his pockets and tried to look as flat as he felt.
"So you're packing it in, huh?"
He watched his feet. "Thank you for your assistance, Asuka-san. As soon as we have verified that the spirits are gone, you are relieved of your duties to this investigation."
She laughed. "What investigation?"
"We can conduct a test of the perimeter of the building this afternoon."
"Ryuuzaki." He glanced up at his name to see her face dead serious. "You can't set him free. You realize that, don't you? So maybe you can influence him, but he influences you too. And you're going to rule the world together? That's the plan?"
"As chief investigator in a classified case, I'm not at liberty to respond to your conjectures."
"You know who you sound-"
"At 1:00 p.m., we will conduct a perimeter check of this building." L kept his voice low to disguise how she rankled him. "That's all."
He moved to go, but vertigo took him. A force, like air, but windless pinned him to the wall. His heart beat wildly. When he found he could breathe freely, he tried taking deep breaths.
"Like hell that's all," snapped Asuka, her hand pointed at him, projecting some energy. How many powers did she have? "Grow the hell up, and stop playing this teen romance crap you've clearly got going with him."
Yes, that's what it was; he'd slipped into a romance novel. "Asuka-san, you can't hypnotize me-or keep him hypnotized while I'm watching him. You can't keep me here forever. Plainly, you could kill me, but that would not address your principal problem. So why don't you stop this computer game superhero crap and let me report for my shift?"
For a moment, she stood frozen. Then, she dropped her hand abruptly and he fell hard to his knees.
"Fuck you," she said, low and cold. "The damn spirits are gone." She flung her backpack on her bed and started throwing her clothes into it. "Get the hell out of my room."
"We'll still perform a test-"
"Fine. Just get the hell out."
Striving to hide his shaking, L obeyed. In the hallway, he leaned against the wall till his heart slowed. She wasn't finished with them; that was obvious. But now, at least, they'd have breathing room. Take things one at a time. One hurdle, then another... for the rest of our lives.