(no subject)

May 20, 2011 19:48

Am I not allowed to change my mind?

Can I do something else? Am I allowed to be (almost) 21 and confused? Can I do what I want and not what is expected of me? What if I can great at this other thing too, what if it makes me happier?

I'm so afraid I'll crash and burn, and prove my mother right. She only thinks I'm "thinking" of not applying to PT school this summer. I'm pretty sure I'm not. But I'm scared not to. But I want to do things.

Sadly, I just realized, to take a year off from going to PT school, I'll still have to apply this time next year, and what wouldn't really be taking a year off to figure things out. Ugh. So many complications. So many expectations.

I just want to be awesome, maybe at horses, that would be nice. I just want to develop horses, really, maybe help their humans through the rough spots. But that's not good enough, eh?
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