i scan mine too. but i guess i should stop.
i don't know why i'm awake; i should be completely passed the fuck out. tonight pushed the score to 13-4. and i basically just made an ass of myself, which seems to be a familiar trend. it was emi's birthday so we had to celebrate; although i will be majorly bruised in the morning. er now...i should be asleep; we were pounding 151, which by the way, is satan in a bottle; that shit fucks you up in a second and i had waaaaay too much, although nothing close to dickie- who btw cut his hair and looks waaaaay hot i'll post pix tomor, which only makes things harder, who had like 6 shots of it in an hour
i am having fun here; way too much wild and crazy fun, but it all seems so empty and i feel like i'm losing something, what really matters and maybe i already have.
today was incredibly depressing; i realized that yes indeed i have lost two of my very best friends, and maybe i won't get either of them back. one of them i may be exaggerating the other i fear i have without a doubt alienated forever. and i hate it, more than anything i hate it. its awful and regrettable but mostly i just feel helpless about it...i know that most of the people that matter have lost basically all respect for me, and if not, find a comedic patheticness in my actions. i find myself sinking more and more into that old girl because the healthy safe one that i became so happy and comfortable with in the past year has lost everything; and has become seperated and alienated from everything that she holds dear. i want to go on latenight adventures again, that don't involve a frat and i want to drive and drive for no particular reason, instead of going to get the morning after pill for some passed out girl on my floor, and i want to chill and just have fun and go to the beach or to willowglenn and i want everything back the way it was and mostly i want to stop fucking up every single relationship with every person in this fucking world that i seem to.
i should sleep. i have class in the morning
oh. p.s.
dickie liiiikes me...
i am having fun here; way too much wild and crazy fun, but it all seems so empty and i feel like i'm losing something, what really matters and maybe i already have.
today was incredibly depressing; i realized that yes indeed i have lost two of my very best friends, and maybe i won't get either of them back. one of them i may be exaggerating the other i fear i have without a doubt alienated forever. and i hate it, more than anything i hate it. its awful and regrettable but mostly i just feel helpless about it...i know that most of the people that matter have lost basically all respect for me, and if not, find a comedic patheticness in my actions. i find myself sinking more and more into that old girl because the healthy safe one that i became so happy and comfortable with in the past year has lost everything; and has become seperated and alienated from everything that she holds dear. i want to go on latenight adventures again, that don't involve a frat and i want to drive and drive for no particular reason, instead of going to get the morning after pill for some passed out girl on my floor, and i want to chill and just have fun and go to the beach or to willowglenn and i want everything back the way it was and mostly i want to stop fucking up every single relationship with every person in this fucking world that i seem to.
i should sleep. i have class in the morning
oh. p.s.
dickie liiiikes me...