Ah well, I knew it was just a matter of time.
I know I shouldn't be disappointed, but I still am. I auditioned, put my heart into the audition, tried my hardest, and I still got passed over for a bunch of upcoming freshmen. I know I suck, I know I can't act, can't sing, can't do anything in terms of musical theatre. I should have never tried. I won't ever to be able to swim, I just always sink. I don't even want to try, which in the worst part. I want to be an English/Foreign Language major, not a theatre major. I want to teach, and learn, not sing and act stupid. I know I'm not doing the musical in my junior year, it'll be really hard, and I need to spend that time on my grades. Lord knows they really suck. I don't know why I still bother with it. I just should get my PE and Fine Arts credits, and be done with it. Maybe switch to Photography when we get back to school, take that instead of choir. It's not a big deal. It's something I enjoy and would like to be better at.
I think I like Megan's philosophy, no expectations, no disappointment. I told myself I wouldn't get it, I knew I wouldn't get in, yet a tiny part of me, my itty-bitty self confidence said "You'll get it!" and I actually listened. I understand it, and I've met the same barriers in every music thing. I'm not doing TPSMEA either, because I won't be able to. The best part about taking photography is that I would be able to start immediately when I get back to school. I don't need to be able to talk to take pictures. Maybe I'm being silly, but I think it would be a better option right now. I don't have to worry about not being good enough. I'll still do the musical this coming year, I won't quit that easily, unless something major comes up that would prevent me from being able to catch up. How horrible is it that I wish something would prevent me from being able to do the musical. With my luck, they'll accidently saw through my part of my brain and kill me, or they find out i've got some disease and can't cure me. Which might be a blessing to mankind. People would be sad for a little bit, but get over it, go on with their lives, and maybe occasionally wonder, "What would Kat be doing now if she was alive?", but maybe I'm asking too much.
I'm making it into a bigger deal than it really is. It's just me, partially sad.
Self-pity moment over. ^_^
I think I like Megan's philosophy, no expectations, no disappointment. I told myself I wouldn't get it, I knew I wouldn't get in, yet a tiny part of me, my itty-bitty self confidence said "You'll get it!" and I actually listened. I understand it, and I've met the same barriers in every music thing. I'm not doing TPSMEA either, because I won't be able to. The best part about taking photography is that I would be able to start immediately when I get back to school. I don't need to be able to talk to take pictures. Maybe I'm being silly, but I think it would be a better option right now. I don't have to worry about not being good enough. I'll still do the musical this coming year, I won't quit that easily, unless something major comes up that would prevent me from being able to catch up. How horrible is it that I wish something would prevent me from being able to do the musical. With my luck, they'll accidently saw through my part of my brain and kill me, or they find out i've got some disease and can't cure me. Which might be a blessing to mankind. People would be sad for a little bit, but get over it, go on with their lives, and maybe occasionally wonder, "What would Kat be doing now if she was alive?", but maybe I'm asking too much.
I'm making it into a bigger deal than it really is. It's just me, partially sad.
Self-pity moment over. ^_^