It's about time.
Last day. I should be watching the Stefford Wives but of course lifeguarding too too frickin long.
There's no one I'd rather waste time with than my best friends.
I started this year saying I'd never be vulnerable, or weak, or immature again. I never laughed harder, and I never cried more. But I was living, and hot damn it felt so good. I did things I would be too nervous to do last year, and made more friends in one year than I did in a lifetime. It's impossible to like everyone, and it's wrong to be nice to people out of pity. I thought like that and thought thats how everyone thought of me. But its not true. And it took me sixteen to figure that out. So, now I begin to live. I can't thank you guys enough for being there for me, laughing with me, and listening to me bitch about my 'problems'. You don't know how much I appreciate it.
We've been down, we've been out, we've been hanging round.
But all those great times, I was depressed for a good part of the year. I reached lows I never thought existed. And for the stupidest reasons, the main one being I was homesick. The 'screw-the-world-lets go-breake-rules-and-run-away -from-Mexicans' part of me I left behind. I need to see all of you again. You guys make me do crazy things and feel free. And to a certain someone, I miss you like woah. I feel so comfortable with you, so comfortable crying with you is relieving. We've become distant. I thought you hated me, and that made me depressed. The person I loved so much hating me, that killed me. I bottled everything upand didn't say a thing because I don't trust anyone the way I trust you. I was lost, I didn't want to open up to anyone because I would be a burden. You're the best medicine I ever had, no matter how screwed up you are. Thats what makes you your super duper spectacular self. I love listening to all your stories, and now I boy oh boy do I have stories for you. Chin power! <3333
And I need you to know that I care...
There's a special thank you I have to say, even though you'll probably never see it. Here's to the kid who gave me the most beautifully simple gift in the entire world that I would have never expected in a million years. The kid who went out of the way to show me I'm special. You showed me that people really do love me, and that people aren't nice to be because they feel bad for me. You showed me that you love me, and that means the world. Someone I barely know, thinks I'm amazing. I cry whenever I see it. I don't show it, but I love you so much. No one's ever done that for me. Thank you. Oh, and don't worry, I'll never forget you. I promise. I love you forever and for always. <3
PS. I liked seeing you today. Sorry for being a bitch, but I wasn't expecting you. You caught me so offguard I completely forgot what I wanted to tell you. (lol) Yeah point and laugh. Please have patience with me, lets hang out.