Now is the winter of our discontent
Dear Laundry Thief,
I hope you have a sucky workout while wearing MY favorite sweat pants, sports bra and jacket. Thanks for leaving my jeans and bedsheets behind though.
No love,
SpongeAuden NoPants
P.S. Were you the one who stole my panties from the laundry room a couple of months ago?!?!
Dear December,
We need to talk.
As some of my friends and I can attest, the month of you has so far been a big steamin' pile of excrement.
I know because you have Christmas you think you all that. Well I've got news for you: You ain't.
Please do better.
Discontentedly,
Auden
ETA:
There has been a surge in chia pet ads on TV lately, to entice the tasteless gifter to purchase them as Christmas presents I suppose. The ads are specifically pushing the Famous Chia pets. I get that in regular chias the vegetation is supposed to represent fur, hair or to conform to the animal's natural shape to make it pouffy, but it is not so for the Famous Chias. With the exception of one or two characters, they all look as if they have inexplicable afros. I find myself thinking (I don't talk to the TV, I'm not crazy, ok?!) vehemently at the TV, "Homer Simpson is bald, chia pet maker!"
I hope you have a sucky workout while wearing MY favorite sweat pants, sports bra and jacket. Thanks for leaving my jeans and bedsheets behind though.
No love,
SpongeAuden NoPants
P.S. Were you the one who stole my panties from the laundry room a couple of months ago?!?!
Dear December,
We need to talk.
As some of my friends and I can attest, the month of you has so far been a big steamin' pile of excrement.
I know because you have Christmas you think you all that. Well I've got news for you: You ain't.
Please do better.
Discontentedly,
Auden
ETA:
There has been a surge in chia pet ads on TV lately, to entice the tasteless gifter to purchase them as Christmas presents I suppose. The ads are specifically pushing the Famous Chia pets. I get that in regular chias the vegetation is supposed to represent fur, hair or to conform to the animal's natural shape to make it pouffy, but it is not so for the Famous Chias. With the exception of one or two characters, they all look as if they have inexplicable afros. I find myself thinking (I don't talk to the TV, I'm not crazy, ok?!) vehemently at the TV, "Homer Simpson is bald, chia pet maker!"