Pep Talk
I am trying to put my faith in the universe. Or should I say The Universe. This is difficult for me. I am purposefully ot using the word God or Goddess because I am not comfortable with all the imagery this conjures up of a guy with a beard inthe sky etc. But I do wish to ackowlede that there is something greater than myself out there. Maybe. I'm not sure.
I'm reading a lot of Mariane Williamson these days. She did that book reflecting on "A Course in Miracles" which is God centric. AFter my years as a lapsed Catholic and a dead again Chrsitian, tis' ahred for me to actually go to God and sya, "You are in charge. I'll get out of your way, have a little faith, and you'll make it better." That kind fo faith wasn't something I was good at even then. Much less now, now, when I want to take responsibility for my life.
Yet, here, now, I'm feeling directed to trust in a higher power. To trust the Universe or God or whomever/whatever. It's not so easy. But neither is going it alone all the time. I don't like the idea of God as a crutch, the naswer to all our problems, the rescuer. Really not comfortable with that. It seems like a crutch. I said that already.
Anyway, there is a plan. Hopefully. And that plan I imagine does not involve me starving or living on the streets. It does however, probably involve me allowing things to happen the way the plan is laid out. But I don't know the plan. This is the difficulty for me. I can sit and think and meditate and such (and by such I think I mean pray) and hope that I get the answer I need. But I'm not terribly practiced at this and so I feel like I'm not getting answers and therefore I don't know what to do.
I'm still unemployed. I still have to write a big fat check to the government. I still have to pay bills. I'm getting nervous. I'm running out of money which makes me worry and not want to pay for voice lessons and food, the two things I really can't skimp on. I mean, I'm here for the voice lessons. And now I'm actually under doctors orders to eat more. I can't make chi without food and I seem to eat things my doctor thinks of as snacks and not often enough. So, money equals lessons and food.
I don't know what to do next. So I'll sip my tea and ponder whether to go out and spend money on food and socialize with nice people at a bar I like. Or watch TV and veg. Or play more Bejeweled blitz. Maybe no tthat last thing.
Please send calming vibes. Vibes or clarity. Vibes of love and connection.
Thanks.
I'm reading a lot of Mariane Williamson these days. She did that book reflecting on "A Course in Miracles" which is God centric. AFter my years as a lapsed Catholic and a dead again Chrsitian, tis' ahred for me to actually go to God and sya, "You are in charge. I'll get out of your way, have a little faith, and you'll make it better." That kind fo faith wasn't something I was good at even then. Much less now, now, when I want to take responsibility for my life.
Yet, here, now, I'm feeling directed to trust in a higher power. To trust the Universe or God or whomever/whatever. It's not so easy. But neither is going it alone all the time. I don't like the idea of God as a crutch, the naswer to all our problems, the rescuer. Really not comfortable with that. It seems like a crutch. I said that already.
Anyway, there is a plan. Hopefully. And that plan I imagine does not involve me starving or living on the streets. It does however, probably involve me allowing things to happen the way the plan is laid out. But I don't know the plan. This is the difficulty for me. I can sit and think and meditate and such (and by such I think I mean pray) and hope that I get the answer I need. But I'm not terribly practiced at this and so I feel like I'm not getting answers and therefore I don't know what to do.
I'm still unemployed. I still have to write a big fat check to the government. I still have to pay bills. I'm getting nervous. I'm running out of money which makes me worry and not want to pay for voice lessons and food, the two things I really can't skimp on. I mean, I'm here for the voice lessons. And now I'm actually under doctors orders to eat more. I can't make chi without food and I seem to eat things my doctor thinks of as snacks and not often enough. So, money equals lessons and food.
I don't know what to do next. So I'll sip my tea and ponder whether to go out and spend money on food and socialize with nice people at a bar I like. Or watch TV and veg. Or play more Bejeweled blitz. Maybe no tthat last thing.
Please send calming vibes. Vibes or clarity. Vibes of love and connection.
Thanks.