out of order
oh yeahhhh so i didnt actually blog about the cat. i found this fluffy himalayan cat in a hole in an old moldy (and i guess abandoned?) garage wall in an overgrown lot in my hood. she was really skinny and miserable and meowing at me to help her, and she and bowie seemed really calm about each others' presence, so i went back with bd the next day and took her. then it was too late to see a vet so i set her up in bowie's transporter on the back porch (in case of fleas!) with some food and an improvised cereal litter box, and took her to the vet the next day. she got some anti-parasite meds and kitten food and i took her home. it turns out she's a bit of a menace (what is it with me and the animals), i've been gradually letting her out of my room but she's the one terrorizing maggie and not vice-versa. bowie usually tries to intercede but i need to keep her out of it so that the cat doesnt get scared of her and she doesnt lose an eye.
last night i'd had a few and i wanted to get her back into my room so i could, you know leave and go out for st-jean, but after i pulled her out from behind a chair downstairs she swiped at my face and nicked my lip zit. it closed up and looked fine right away but it bled a lot down on my teeth and looked hella scary. so anyway at that point i was like, that's not right so i kept trying to turn her onto her feet so i could "discipline" her (hold her down on all fours 'till she calmed down) and she kept attacking my hands. she really latched on there and i screamed and tried to fling her off. i spent about four and half hours in the ER just to get an antibiotic so my hand wont swell up and get all infected, plus now i have to try to fill the prescription on friggin' june 24th in quebec.
my st-jean evening prolly would have been sad and desperate though, i imagine i would have drank a whole lot and not had that great a time or anything, i'm generally unimpressed with going out. it's just as well i spent it shivering in front of a tiny tv set playing dubbed movies with a bunch of addicts and weird old people in wheelchairs.
as usual bd knows how to press my buttons and cant commit to doing even the most basic things, and i find myself living in a situation that would be pretty unacceptable to any roommate roommate. i feel like such a suck because i loved this person, and she is so obviously a disgusting, horrible, mean piece of filth. roo made me feel a bit better by saying the brain has nothing to do with it, love is chemicals and not a decision. i will have to reiterate that this is not working out and that she needs to move out, sometime when we're not in the middle of a fight or conversation, basically (bd doesnt like to pull her head out of her ass and communicate in an authentic way, ever.) i really hate her. but at the same time, i tolerate her and i feel nostalgic about the past. it's the most vile inner conflict i've ever experienced. i want really bad things to happen to her, but then i'd prolly feel sorry for her. at least it would be a distraction from all this feeling sorry for myself.
last night i'd had a few and i wanted to get her back into my room so i could, you know leave and go out for st-jean, but after i pulled her out from behind a chair downstairs she swiped at my face and nicked my lip zit. it closed up and looked fine right away but it bled a lot down on my teeth and looked hella scary. so anyway at that point i was like, that's not right so i kept trying to turn her onto her feet so i could "discipline" her (hold her down on all fours 'till she calmed down) and she kept attacking my hands. she really latched on there and i screamed and tried to fling her off. i spent about four and half hours in the ER just to get an antibiotic so my hand wont swell up and get all infected, plus now i have to try to fill the prescription on friggin' june 24th in quebec.
my st-jean evening prolly would have been sad and desperate though, i imagine i would have drank a whole lot and not had that great a time or anything, i'm generally unimpressed with going out. it's just as well i spent it shivering in front of a tiny tv set playing dubbed movies with a bunch of addicts and weird old people in wheelchairs.
as usual bd knows how to press my buttons and cant commit to doing even the most basic things, and i find myself living in a situation that would be pretty unacceptable to any roommate roommate. i feel like such a suck because i loved this person, and she is so obviously a disgusting, horrible, mean piece of filth. roo made me feel a bit better by saying the brain has nothing to do with it, love is chemicals and not a decision. i will have to reiterate that this is not working out and that she needs to move out, sometime when we're not in the middle of a fight or conversation, basically (bd doesnt like to pull her head out of her ass and communicate in an authentic way, ever.) i really hate her. but at the same time, i tolerate her and i feel nostalgic about the past. it's the most vile inner conflict i've ever experienced. i want really bad things to happen to her, but then i'd prolly feel sorry for her. at least it would be a distraction from all this feeling sorry for myself.