(no subject)
i'm still the same marrissa who feels lost and has no one to talk to but hey, i need to just live with that fact.
i don't think i'll ever have the friends that i wish for, but changing college courses might help (?). idk, i'm just stuck in this horrible rut and however much i try to escape it just pulls me back in. i spend most my time with michael, and yes its great but its not enough, and he knows that. i even cry at times because i don't like how my life is going.
i see everyone else around me and it just makes me feel so much worse about myself and my life. i could be doing so many things, but just not here.
i think i'm going to have to live with this for the rest of my life.
i've lost hope.
BUT in 12 days i am off to thailand, to see my dad. this is exciting because michael is going too!
&its like three and a bit months til my 18th, great.
i don't think i'll ever have the friends that i wish for, but changing college courses might help (?). idk, i'm just stuck in this horrible rut and however much i try to escape it just pulls me back in. i spend most my time with michael, and yes its great but its not enough, and he knows that. i even cry at times because i don't like how my life is going.
i see everyone else around me and it just makes me feel so much worse about myself and my life. i could be doing so many things, but just not here.
i think i'm going to have to live with this for the rest of my life.
i've lost hope.
BUT in 12 days i am off to thailand, to see my dad. this is exciting because michael is going too!
&its like three and a bit months til my 18th, great.