Four against one.
The house is under invasion from a borbottio of Italians, four of them to be exact.
Curious comportment can be noted when inviting familial Italians to your home:
1) To make tea, teabags are put directly into the kettle and cooked.
2) It is acceptable to keep the street shoes on in the house, whereas walking on my clean, mopped floors with socks or bare feet is highly offensive to common decency and aesthetics.
3) The noise at mealtimes reaches somewhere near the decibel levels of terminal 1 at Heathrow and the conversation centres round gossip, (local to the Italian hometown they have arrived from) and is frequently punctuated by the word: cazzo (dick), children and adults included.
4) At mealtimes, all pots, pans and plates will be used in the making of a meal, even if it happens to be salad. To put lettuce on the same plate that you have just had pasta or bread on would be heresy.
The local cuisine is ridiculed and brought to shame for being uncreative, unhealthy and ‘not like my mamma makes’ as a third of a litre of olive oil is poured on some grated, salted carrot or bread.
5) At approximately 9:30pm, any legendary Italian style, fashion sense and buon gusto will cease and an array of the most bizarre, all in one, overgrown toddler sleep-suits will be worn and paraded unashamedly round the living area.
6) The home in these days will become warmer thanks to good cheer, chatter and buon umore and literally due to the air streams created by four pairs of hands gesturing practically simultaneously.
An inundation of sunshine and ice-lollies is helping in these days.
Curious comportment can be noted when inviting familial Italians to your home:
1) To make tea, teabags are put directly into the kettle and cooked.
2) It is acceptable to keep the street shoes on in the house, whereas walking on my clean, mopped floors with socks or bare feet is highly offensive to common decency and aesthetics.
3) The noise at mealtimes reaches somewhere near the decibel levels of terminal 1 at Heathrow and the conversation centres round gossip, (local to the Italian hometown they have arrived from) and is frequently punctuated by the word: cazzo (dick), children and adults included.
4) At mealtimes, all pots, pans and plates will be used in the making of a meal, even if it happens to be salad. To put lettuce on the same plate that you have just had pasta or bread on would be heresy.
The local cuisine is ridiculed and brought to shame for being uncreative, unhealthy and ‘not like my mamma makes’ as a third of a litre of olive oil is poured on some grated, salted carrot or bread.
5) At approximately 9:30pm, any legendary Italian style, fashion sense and buon gusto will cease and an array of the most bizarre, all in one, overgrown toddler sleep-suits will be worn and paraded unashamedly round the living area.
6) The home in these days will become warmer thanks to good cheer, chatter and buon umore and literally due to the air streams created by four pairs of hands gesturing practically simultaneously.
An inundation of sunshine and ice-lollies is helping in these days.