It's been awhile
I haven't written in a long time but I haven't really had time I've been moving house to house and I'm back home (as a last resort) and of course life itself has been nutts. so here is a summary:
I got kinda kicked out of the my grandparents house for being me (Pot-head) and I hadto give them a $1,000 dollars for the car they gave to me for graduation but since I smoke, it makes my diploma less prestigious(sp) and I moved in with Katie... yeah I know, but here me out... we use to be best friends and I just thought that, this could be my chance too may be get it back to normal, as paranoid as I was and shit, I wanted to see if it could be like it was. I told everyone the reason why i went was because I had no where else to go and thats not true I could have went to my uncle ruben's house and shit like that but I thought it was worth it to try. but after that fell through I moved with Josh for about a week and that was chillin but I had to go home weither I wanted too or not. so that everything can be right in the world..lol or so that it could be close.
NE~WAYS
Me and Josh got into a huge fight today it was long awaited I can most likely say things have just been too mellow. After earlier today in the court yard we were on the ground and he was beatin my ass it was all smiles and laughing and at choir I feel him looking at me not staring just glancing everyonce in awhile. i think I fucked up the playfulness he was having with me but I just can't stand lookin like a fool and he's bitch shit like that becasue it's not like that at all. he is my best friend and vice versa and i will go out of my way for him like he would for me....but I guess its all kool I understand him better now it always takes something big to happen for me to get something or for him to pour out everything, he did share alot with me I had no clue about that the issue was bigger then me and him it was him and BMD and his life he listens to everyone and takes everything into consideration I don't think he ever voices he's view and if he does and his friends don't agree it's alot of shit to deal with. so I hate not getting things but I have to be taught thats how it is for me.
"The first way of succeeding in communication is ... stand under"
easier said then done ... but like I always say if it was easy I wouldn't appreciate it as much. I wanna know whats gonna happen next and at the same time I don't.... I don't want to expect anything... but I want certin things to happen... Who knows?