Story in the Making [25/?]
Woot, woot~ You will love this chapter. I'm sure of it. And it's the prelude to something awesome, I tell you.
Previous Chapter
They were in Japan, working there for over two weeks and their hotel rooms were a poor excuse for home. Daehyun held his phone in his hand, reading through the texts Heehyoung had sent him and in truth he had never known how to feel. He had never known what there was about her that made him stay with her. He liked her. She was pretty and she was smart, but there wasn't much more than that, and most of the time he felt like he was with her because he thought he should be, not because he wanted to be, and now she was something that filled the hole Youngjae had left when he had rejected him. He laughed softly as he received another text, starting to reply to them as he lay back on the bed in the room he shared with Youngjae. And yet, even with that, Daehyun liked that they had their own room, their own privacy like they would back in Seoul.
There was something about hearing that laugh, knowing just what had caused the laugh that made Youngjae see red. He had been laying on his own bed, his laptop set out before him as he was going through some things, looking at things that were of no consequence because he had nothing better to do. While they once would spend time talking, exploring, and just doing what best friends would normally do, it wasn’t like that between them anymore and Youngjae had to find a way to fill the silence and loneliness somehow. He just didn’t want it to do it with the knowledge that Daehyun was enjoying himself-as bitter as that made him.
"Seriously, Jung? Can you not go a day without talking to that slut?" His contempt for her was something that he no longer bothered trying to hide, no longer capable of it after long hours of work and irritation as their abysmal friendship.
Daehyun had been startled by the outburst from his friend because even though they weren’t on the best of terms, Youngjae was still his Precious Boy when it came down to it, the same Precious Boy that he adored, loved, and never wanted to lose. He shook his head, stopping halfway through the message as he turned to face the man he once called his best friend and wasn’t sure that he could anymore. "She's not a slut, Youngjae." he bit back, his eyes flickering to Youngjae with his eyebrows furrowed, "She's my girlfriend. And no I can't go a day without her because I like her. And I miss her."
The younger man let out a low scoff, shaking his head as he shut his laptop and placed it on the bedside table. "I'm sure you miss her, Daehyun. It's been so long since you fucked her, right?" He didn't know if the two had had sex yet, since he had been the reason it hadn't happened the first time and had just been hoping that when they had been together since it still hadn't happened. Maybe this was just his way of finding out the truth that he truly didn’t want to know.
Daehyun couldn't help the way his jaw clenched, his eyes closing for a moment as he unlocked his phone, starting to continue on with the message. He was annoyed, yes. He wouldn't be able to deny that, not now. But even beyond that, the annoyance he felt was a terrible mask for the hurt inside, the hurt of being rejected and turned down by his best friend, and now said best friend was making it out as though he was the wronged one, as though he had been pushed aside. "You know I am not with her so I can fuck her. She's a great girl and you would know that if you weren't so damn obsessed with hating her guts for no reason."
They both noticed that Daehyun didn’t make a clear answer one way or the other about whether or not he and Heehyoung had sex or not and it had already begun to eat away at Youngjae’s insides. He didn’t want to know and yet he wanted to; he hated when he didn’t get his way even if he didn’t know what his way was.
The truth that Daehyun had avoided was that they didn’t have sex. They’d gotten close, pretty damn close, but Daehyun always turned her down. He didn’t want to have sex with her because he wasn’t attracted to her. But Youngjae didn’t know that.
Anger was filling Youngjae quicker than he could manage. It was happening before he could think to calm himself down and suddenly, the filter was gone from his thoughts and he probably wasn’t even making much sense. "I'm sure that's the case. You're with her for the attention." If that made an ounce of sense, than maybe Youngjae would know where he was going with it. But he was so angry and frustrated and yet craved so much attention from Daehyun, this was the only way he could go about it.
There was another buzz that signaled Daehyun got another text and they both knew who it was from, except the man didn’t answer it. He was more interested in what Youngjae had to say, only because it made him so mad to hear these things from the person that he had called his best friend. Looking his supposed best friend dead in the eye, he spoke with just as much bitterness as Youngjae had, "Yes, that’s right, Youngjae, I am with her because I want the attention, since I don't get enough attention living as a celebrity or anything." His voice was drowned in sarcasm, his expression so very obviously full of anger and he couldn't help but shake his head, folding his arms over his chest, "Or maybe you could open your eyes and realize that I have legitimate feelings for her and those aren't going away just because you're being a bitch," he snapped before he could stop himself.
Everything he was doing and saying was childish, but it was too late to take half of it back. He was tanking their relationship, their friendship that had always been so precious to him and he didn't know what he was supposed to do about it, now that they struggled to even speak civilly to one another. "Legitimate feelings? You've got to be fucking kidding me." He laughed, the curse words that he used going to show just how angry he was even though he was doing his best not to show. But the hurt was evident when Daehyun called him a bitch. He knew that he could be a bitch, he'd been told that many times and had used it to his advantage many times as well, but never had his best friend called him anything close to that and it just...hurt, but he didn't want to make that obvious.
Daehyun wasn’t going to put up with this. He rose from the bed with a shake of his head and begun to change into his pajamas, keeping his back to the other man for the time being. But Youngjae didn’t seem to stop. This wasn’t the first time that they had fought and it might very well not even be the last, but that didn’t make it any less terrible as fighting with your best friend was always the most painful thing to happen. Both of them hated it, as neither of them could win but both would end up hurt and miserable.
"That's rich, Jung. Sleeping with her is surely a great way to show the world how much you feel for her."
"Did you ever think that maybe I haven't fucked her yet? Maybe I'm saving that? Maybe we're taking our relationship slowly?" he asked, "Maybe did you possibly think, Youngjae, that she can make me happy and that you just can't accept that I like someone other than you!" he said, falling silent as he realised how that sounded.
"You're saving that? Then why have you already tried?" He referred back to the day before Daehyun broke up with her the first time and he'd stopped him from having sex by sending that text on a whim. "Doesn't look like you're saving much of anything."
He hated how this was going. He hated fighting with Youngjae. He hated when there was anything between them other than happiness and understanding because everything about their friendship was so much bigger and better than what they had drawn themselves back to being. Spitting ugly words and throwing cruelty at one another. Using things they trusted and confided in one another with as swords in a painful duel. He swallowed hard and shook his head. "It's none of your fucking business what her and I do in the bedroom. It doesn't concern you, and as my supposed best friend I thought you would be happy that I found someone I like, but no. apparently not.
"I always knew you were needy..." he turned around again, looking away and starting to pull things from his bag.
Daehyun was hitting low that night and Youngjae had never expected it. While Youngjae was usually the one to be more bitter, he knew that Daehyun could get angry and would expect it, but to hear him push at the buttons that were already sensitive, especially when done so by one’s best friend, it left Youngjae winded, breathless as he stared at Daehyun’s back.
There was silence for a few moments as Daehyun got dressed into his pajamas, slipping on his pants and shirt quickly before he noticed that he had missed messages from Heehyoung already. That only irritated him further. Youngjae pushed himself to sit up a bit, staring at his friend incredulously before he narrowed his eyes. “I always knew you were a selfish bastard."
Daehyun turned to face Youngjae, taking a step closer to the bed that he sat on. "I’m selfish? I’m the selfish one?" he asked, his voice incredulous, "I got a girlfriend who I liked, she made me happy, her and I could have been something special and you told me that I couldn't sleep with her and keep my friendship with you. You told me to break up with her. I finally got back with her and now you are trying to make me end it again. Don't you dare talk to me about selfishness, Youngjae. Don't you fucking dare. And besides, like I said, Youngjae, this doesn’t concern you."
Youngjae didn’t want to continue with this now. He hadn’t thought any of this through and now he was paying the price for it. He sat up a bit straighter, still not having moved from his place on the bed as he glared at the elder man. "It doesn't concern me? How does anything in our friendship not concern me? I can't even be considered your best friend anymore, you don't tell me anything!"
"What I do in the bedroom with my girlfriend concerns no one but me and her. It's something private that is between us and I just don't care what you had to say about that. This isn't about you, Youngjae. This has nothing to do with you and yet here you go making it about you." Daehyun shook his head. He was furious. His fists were clenched and his chest was heaving, the black shirt he put on hanging loosely off his muscular build.
He huffed as he finally pushed himself from the bed so he wasn't at a disadvantage anymore Even though he had a smaller build, weaker than Daehyun in every way, he didn’t intend to back down this time. "I'm not selfish, Daehyun! I told you that she wasn't good for you! I told you that she wasn't a good person and I had a reason for that! It's your fault for not listening!" He spat out, taking a step towards Daehyun to try and make up for something.
Daehyun scoffed in response, meeting the man’s gaze as he moved closer. "I have always bent over backwards for you! I give you everything you want! I left my fucking girlfriend because you told me to and you didn't even give me a valid reason! You just said she's not good but what the fuck does that even mean? I left her because you told me to. I do everything because you tell me to!" he said, feeling his emotions swell in the cavity of his chest. His voice rose louder, "I kissed you, Youngjae! I kissed you and you kissed back but then you turned around and you pushed me away! Don't you fucking dare ruin my relationship when you had your god damn chance!"
Youngjae didn't even know what he wanted Daehyun to say or do, none of it making any sort of sense because he just knew that he wanted Daehyun to kiss him again. Maybe not at that moment, but he does want Daehyun to be done kissing her because she wasn't right for him and he couldn't just say that because it would sound even worse than everything else he had already said. He could see how angry and frustrated his best friend had become with him and he wanted to make it all better, but he wouldn't even know where to begin. He didn't know what he was supposed to do because none of it makes any sense. He doesn't want Daehyun with Heehyoung, but he didn't want to be with him because that...that was something he wasn't ready to come to terms with and maybe that was unfair to Daehyun, but what else was he supposed to do?
"Why didn't you just fucking wait for me?!" The question left him before he could think to stop himself, his hands clenched into fists as he looked at Daehyun angrily. There was still hurt shining in his eyes as Daehyun said everything that was true and yet all of it hurt him. "Why couldn't you just wait until I was ready for that? Why did you have to rush into it?!" It still wasn't fair of him to blame the other man, but he was running out of ammo.
"Because you said never again! You said no more kissing, no more sharing a bed. You said it was done and I am trying to move on and you won't fucking let me!" he said, yelling loudly.
Youngjae’s voice was rising to be just as loud as the other’s. It was now or never, he figured, "I don't want you to be with her, Daehyun, because I want you with me." He finally admitted, standing his ground even if he suddenly felt weak.
Silence fell over them for a long moment. Things had suddenly become deathly still. I want you with me, the words replayed over and over in the silence between them, both of their minds reeling with the admission that Youngjae had never meant to let slip. And now, tears welled in his eyes from it. He felt so embarrassed, so foolish for saying something of that magnitude when he had done more than enough to ruin their friendship and any chances at a relationship. He regretted his stupidity.
The words continued to ring through Daehyun’s head, but he didn’t let them echo for long before he was moving forward. There was nothing more to say, nothing more which could be said. Instead of continuing the fight that would get them nowhere, Daehyun lift his hand to entangle it in Youngjae’s soft hair that he had admired many times and crashed their lips together in a heated kiss that took Youngjae’s breath away, leaving him aching for more even if it had just started with the underlying promise of not ending anytime soon.
Next Chapter
Previous Chapter
They were in Japan, working there for over two weeks and their hotel rooms were a poor excuse for home. Daehyun held his phone in his hand, reading through the texts Heehyoung had sent him and in truth he had never known how to feel. He had never known what there was about her that made him stay with her. He liked her. She was pretty and she was smart, but there wasn't much more than that, and most of the time he felt like he was with her because he thought he should be, not because he wanted to be, and now she was something that filled the hole Youngjae had left when he had rejected him. He laughed softly as he received another text, starting to reply to them as he lay back on the bed in the room he shared with Youngjae. And yet, even with that, Daehyun liked that they had their own room, their own privacy like they would back in Seoul.
There was something about hearing that laugh, knowing just what had caused the laugh that made Youngjae see red. He had been laying on his own bed, his laptop set out before him as he was going through some things, looking at things that were of no consequence because he had nothing better to do. While they once would spend time talking, exploring, and just doing what best friends would normally do, it wasn’t like that between them anymore and Youngjae had to find a way to fill the silence and loneliness somehow. He just didn’t want it to do it with the knowledge that Daehyun was enjoying himself-as bitter as that made him.
"Seriously, Jung? Can you not go a day without talking to that slut?" His contempt for her was something that he no longer bothered trying to hide, no longer capable of it after long hours of work and irritation as their abysmal friendship.
Daehyun had been startled by the outburst from his friend because even though they weren’t on the best of terms, Youngjae was still his Precious Boy when it came down to it, the same Precious Boy that he adored, loved, and never wanted to lose. He shook his head, stopping halfway through the message as he turned to face the man he once called his best friend and wasn’t sure that he could anymore. "She's not a slut, Youngjae." he bit back, his eyes flickering to Youngjae with his eyebrows furrowed, "She's my girlfriend. And no I can't go a day without her because I like her. And I miss her."
The younger man let out a low scoff, shaking his head as he shut his laptop and placed it on the bedside table. "I'm sure you miss her, Daehyun. It's been so long since you fucked her, right?" He didn't know if the two had had sex yet, since he had been the reason it hadn't happened the first time and had just been hoping that when they had been together since it still hadn't happened. Maybe this was just his way of finding out the truth that he truly didn’t want to know.
Daehyun couldn't help the way his jaw clenched, his eyes closing for a moment as he unlocked his phone, starting to continue on with the message. He was annoyed, yes. He wouldn't be able to deny that, not now. But even beyond that, the annoyance he felt was a terrible mask for the hurt inside, the hurt of being rejected and turned down by his best friend, and now said best friend was making it out as though he was the wronged one, as though he had been pushed aside. "You know I am not with her so I can fuck her. She's a great girl and you would know that if you weren't so damn obsessed with hating her guts for no reason."
They both noticed that Daehyun didn’t make a clear answer one way or the other about whether or not he and Heehyoung had sex or not and it had already begun to eat away at Youngjae’s insides. He didn’t want to know and yet he wanted to; he hated when he didn’t get his way even if he didn’t know what his way was.
The truth that Daehyun had avoided was that they didn’t have sex. They’d gotten close, pretty damn close, but Daehyun always turned her down. He didn’t want to have sex with her because he wasn’t attracted to her. But Youngjae didn’t know that.
Anger was filling Youngjae quicker than he could manage. It was happening before he could think to calm himself down and suddenly, the filter was gone from his thoughts and he probably wasn’t even making much sense. "I'm sure that's the case. You're with her for the attention." If that made an ounce of sense, than maybe Youngjae would know where he was going with it. But he was so angry and frustrated and yet craved so much attention from Daehyun, this was the only way he could go about it.
There was another buzz that signaled Daehyun got another text and they both knew who it was from, except the man didn’t answer it. He was more interested in what Youngjae had to say, only because it made him so mad to hear these things from the person that he had called his best friend. Looking his supposed best friend dead in the eye, he spoke with just as much bitterness as Youngjae had, "Yes, that’s right, Youngjae, I am with her because I want the attention, since I don't get enough attention living as a celebrity or anything." His voice was drowned in sarcasm, his expression so very obviously full of anger and he couldn't help but shake his head, folding his arms over his chest, "Or maybe you could open your eyes and realize that I have legitimate feelings for her and those aren't going away just because you're being a bitch," he snapped before he could stop himself.
Everything he was doing and saying was childish, but it was too late to take half of it back. He was tanking their relationship, their friendship that had always been so precious to him and he didn't know what he was supposed to do about it, now that they struggled to even speak civilly to one another. "Legitimate feelings? You've got to be fucking kidding me." He laughed, the curse words that he used going to show just how angry he was even though he was doing his best not to show. But the hurt was evident when Daehyun called him a bitch. He knew that he could be a bitch, he'd been told that many times and had used it to his advantage many times as well, but never had his best friend called him anything close to that and it just...hurt, but he didn't want to make that obvious.
Daehyun wasn’t going to put up with this. He rose from the bed with a shake of his head and begun to change into his pajamas, keeping his back to the other man for the time being. But Youngjae didn’t seem to stop. This wasn’t the first time that they had fought and it might very well not even be the last, but that didn’t make it any less terrible as fighting with your best friend was always the most painful thing to happen. Both of them hated it, as neither of them could win but both would end up hurt and miserable.
"That's rich, Jung. Sleeping with her is surely a great way to show the world how much you feel for her."
"Did you ever think that maybe I haven't fucked her yet? Maybe I'm saving that? Maybe we're taking our relationship slowly?" he asked, "Maybe did you possibly think, Youngjae, that she can make me happy and that you just can't accept that I like someone other than you!" he said, falling silent as he realised how that sounded.
"You're saving that? Then why have you already tried?" He referred back to the day before Daehyun broke up with her the first time and he'd stopped him from having sex by sending that text on a whim. "Doesn't look like you're saving much of anything."
He hated how this was going. He hated fighting with Youngjae. He hated when there was anything between them other than happiness and understanding because everything about their friendship was so much bigger and better than what they had drawn themselves back to being. Spitting ugly words and throwing cruelty at one another. Using things they trusted and confided in one another with as swords in a painful duel. He swallowed hard and shook his head. "It's none of your fucking business what her and I do in the bedroom. It doesn't concern you, and as my supposed best friend I thought you would be happy that I found someone I like, but no. apparently not.
"I always knew you were needy..." he turned around again, looking away and starting to pull things from his bag.
Daehyun was hitting low that night and Youngjae had never expected it. While Youngjae was usually the one to be more bitter, he knew that Daehyun could get angry and would expect it, but to hear him push at the buttons that were already sensitive, especially when done so by one’s best friend, it left Youngjae winded, breathless as he stared at Daehyun’s back.
There was silence for a few moments as Daehyun got dressed into his pajamas, slipping on his pants and shirt quickly before he noticed that he had missed messages from Heehyoung already. That only irritated him further. Youngjae pushed himself to sit up a bit, staring at his friend incredulously before he narrowed his eyes. “I always knew you were a selfish bastard."
Daehyun turned to face Youngjae, taking a step closer to the bed that he sat on. "I’m selfish? I’m the selfish one?" he asked, his voice incredulous, "I got a girlfriend who I liked, she made me happy, her and I could have been something special and you told me that I couldn't sleep with her and keep my friendship with you. You told me to break up with her. I finally got back with her and now you are trying to make me end it again. Don't you dare talk to me about selfishness, Youngjae. Don't you fucking dare. And besides, like I said, Youngjae, this doesn’t concern you."
Youngjae didn’t want to continue with this now. He hadn’t thought any of this through and now he was paying the price for it. He sat up a bit straighter, still not having moved from his place on the bed as he glared at the elder man. "It doesn't concern me? How does anything in our friendship not concern me? I can't even be considered your best friend anymore, you don't tell me anything!"
"What I do in the bedroom with my girlfriend concerns no one but me and her. It's something private that is between us and I just don't care what you had to say about that. This isn't about you, Youngjae. This has nothing to do with you and yet here you go making it about you." Daehyun shook his head. He was furious. His fists were clenched and his chest was heaving, the black shirt he put on hanging loosely off his muscular build.
He huffed as he finally pushed himself from the bed so he wasn't at a disadvantage anymore Even though he had a smaller build, weaker than Daehyun in every way, he didn’t intend to back down this time. "I'm not selfish, Daehyun! I told you that she wasn't good for you! I told you that she wasn't a good person and I had a reason for that! It's your fault for not listening!" He spat out, taking a step towards Daehyun to try and make up for something.
Daehyun scoffed in response, meeting the man’s gaze as he moved closer. "I have always bent over backwards for you! I give you everything you want! I left my fucking girlfriend because you told me to and you didn't even give me a valid reason! You just said she's not good but what the fuck does that even mean? I left her because you told me to. I do everything because you tell me to!" he said, feeling his emotions swell in the cavity of his chest. His voice rose louder, "I kissed you, Youngjae! I kissed you and you kissed back but then you turned around and you pushed me away! Don't you fucking dare ruin my relationship when you had your god damn chance!"
Youngjae didn't even know what he wanted Daehyun to say or do, none of it making any sort of sense because he just knew that he wanted Daehyun to kiss him again. Maybe not at that moment, but he does want Daehyun to be done kissing her because she wasn't right for him and he couldn't just say that because it would sound even worse than everything else he had already said. He could see how angry and frustrated his best friend had become with him and he wanted to make it all better, but he wouldn't even know where to begin. He didn't know what he was supposed to do because none of it makes any sense. He doesn't want Daehyun with Heehyoung, but he didn't want to be with him because that...that was something he wasn't ready to come to terms with and maybe that was unfair to Daehyun, but what else was he supposed to do?
"Why didn't you just fucking wait for me?!" The question left him before he could think to stop himself, his hands clenched into fists as he looked at Daehyun angrily. There was still hurt shining in his eyes as Daehyun said everything that was true and yet all of it hurt him. "Why couldn't you just wait until I was ready for that? Why did you have to rush into it?!" It still wasn't fair of him to blame the other man, but he was running out of ammo.
"Because you said never again! You said no more kissing, no more sharing a bed. You said it was done and I am trying to move on and you won't fucking let me!" he said, yelling loudly.
Youngjae’s voice was rising to be just as loud as the other’s. It was now or never, he figured, "I don't want you to be with her, Daehyun, because I want you with me." He finally admitted, standing his ground even if he suddenly felt weak.
Silence fell over them for a long moment. Things had suddenly become deathly still. I want you with me, the words replayed over and over in the silence between them, both of their minds reeling with the admission that Youngjae had never meant to let slip. And now, tears welled in his eyes from it. He felt so embarrassed, so foolish for saying something of that magnitude when he had done more than enough to ruin their friendship and any chances at a relationship. He regretted his stupidity.
The words continued to ring through Daehyun’s head, but he didn’t let them echo for long before he was moving forward. There was nothing more to say, nothing more which could be said. Instead of continuing the fight that would get them nowhere, Daehyun lift his hand to entangle it in Youngjae’s soft hair that he had admired many times and crashed their lips together in a heated kiss that took Youngjae’s breath away, leaving him aching for more even if it had just started with the underlying promise of not ending anytime soon.
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