Story in the Making [21/?]
Obviously, chapters come slower now that I don't have anything prewritten..and for that, I apologize~
Previous Chapter
Youngjae didn’t come back for hours. He didn’t come back late into the night and by then; Daehyun had already turned in, lying in the bed that he had been sharing with his best friend and waiting for him to return. He couldn’t sleep, not until he knew that Youngjae was okay and the younger man wasn’t answering his phone, texts or calls and it left Daehyun feeling more worried than he would admit.
Youngjae was an adult, or nearly, and he could be out as long as he wanted or felt like it if he wanted to and yet Daehyun just wanted him home where he felt that the other man belonged-where Daehyun knew that he was safe.
When the door opened, Daehyun sat up, seeing the form of his best friend slide into the room while opening the door as little as possible, obviously not wanting to disturb Daehyun if he had been sleeping.
“Precious boy?” Daehyun inquired, not bothering to pretend like he was sleeping.
There was an audible wince that was followed by a sigh. “Yeah, Daehyun?” The fact that ‘mister’ hadn’t been used only made the silence seem even thicker. The elder man didn’t say anything as the door was shut, watching as the figure moved further into the room and towards his own bed, undressing so he could go to sleep and yet without any intention to speak and that struck Daehyun in such a way that he felt his heart clench in his chest.
“I’m sorry for what I did. I…didn’t mean-“ Daehyun had started but was cut off by Youngjae abruptly.
“Don’t. Just…” He sighed, still not looking over to his friend who was sitting up in bed. It wasn’t easy to see one another, but the closed blinds still let in lights from the city, making the outline of their forms evident and visible. “Don’t go there, Daehyun. It’s late and we have a long day tomorrow."
Everything about this was wrong; all of it and Daehyun just wished that he could take back whatever he had done. He wanted to go back to how they had been earlier that day before he had thought to kiss his friend’s neck, the long, supple neck that would look so beautiful if only he could just-
“Do you want to sleep with me tonight?” He tried. He wasn’t going to give up.
There was another sigh from Youngjae before the younger man finally turned to face his best friend. “No. I don’t want to sleep with you. I’ve never wanted to sleep with you and I have no fucking idea why you would think that’d ever be something that I’d want!” His voice rose in volume just slightly, no more because it’d bring their friend’s attention to them.
The pain that Daehyun had felt in his chest only intensified and he watched his friend for a long moment before laying down. Never did he think that he had pressured Youngjae into anything. Youngjae had kissed him first. He had initiated this relationship between them. But as he lay there, pulling the blanket up over his head to hide himself, he couldn’t help but feel so very betrayed and he didn’t even know why exactly. Just that…it hurt.
“Goodnight, prec-Youngjae-ah.” Daehyun corrected and the pain in his voice was nearly palpable, guilting Daehyun, yet he knew that it was the right decision.
----
Youngjae had chosen this. He had made it clear-okay, he hadn’t really made it clear, but it was close enough-that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with Daehyun because that was…too risky. Anyone could discover them and their careers would be ruined. And not just their careers, but of the other four who had been working for years to get to this. They weren’t supposed to be together and it was wrong for them to consider that the selfish act of being together would be appropriate in any way. Because it wasn’t.
But he hadn’t chosen for this to happen again. He would never want this to happen again.
As he stepped into the private room at the restaurant after a tiring dance practice with his bag slung over his shoulder as he talked to the maknae about something or the other, he was shocked to see Daehyun sitting off to the side, his arm around Heehyoung’s shoulders, holding her close to his side as he spoke with Himchan about something or another. Heehyoung was engaged in a conversation with their leader, speaking something about something and yet all Youngjae could concentrate on was how he was suddenly feeling sick to his stomach again.
He had been in denial about it the entire time that Daehyun had been dating the girl the first time around. He had pretended that she wasn’t the cause of his mysterious illness. But now…now there was no denying the fact that her existence was what made him want to throw up, want Daehyun’s arms around him instead of still around her.
There was a pain in his heart and he couldn’t place it-though, it was more like he didn’t want to place it as that would be admitting that he had done wrong, made a mistake and now had to live with the consequences. He didn’t want to be in a relationship with Daehyun because so much could go wrong and yet here was proof that Daehyun was okay with that and…he couldn’t accept it. He hadn’t thought that the man would move on so quickly and find himself someone else to be with. He had thought that he’d have time to get over the elder man and they could go their separate ways. Hell, Youngjae didn’t even know if he was gay or even slightly attracted to men-which was a lie because the thought of Daehyun’s lips running over his body was something that made his showers either extra cold or extra-long as of late.
“Hyung?” Youngjae’s eyes flickered suddenly from the woman who had joined them and to the maknae who was looking at him with concern-filled eyes. “Are you going to sit?”
Youngjae glanced down to the spot next to Daehyun and then the opposite next to Yongguk. Without waiting to reply, Youngjae moved and sat next to the leader, pretending that he didn’t notice the maknae’s disappointed expression as he sat next to Daehyun. The seating arrangement was greatly different than it usually was, but Youngjae didn’t think that he could sit next to the man that he had been so close to being intimate with without emptying his stomach the moment he took his first bite.
Without even realizing what his touch did, Yongguk placed a hand on Youngjae’s shoulder, squeezing gently in a sort of support that the leader inherently thought that the other man needed even if it wasn’t a conscious thought nor decision of his.
---
Her laugh echoed in Youngjae’s mind even as they made it back to their dorm, sitting down on his bed as everyone else prepared for the night. He could hear the maknaes laughing, he could hear Himchan talking loudly to the leader and the low toned response of the elder male, and he could hear Daehyun’s fingers moving over the screen of his cellphone, obviously texting Heehyoung if the small smile and glint in his eye was anything to go by.
Youngjae didn’t even bother undressing before he was flopping back on the bed, kicking off his socks only so he could crawl under the covers. He tried unsuccessfully to block out the sounds of Daehyun’s low chuckle and it was only possible to translate that laugh into one thing; he was aroused. That was probably one of the most painful things that Youngjae had ever heard and known. It was so hurtful to know that Daehyun was aroused by this woman he had said he’d break up with-and had broken up with.
“So you’re…back together?” The younger man spoke softly, not daring to spare a glance at the other who looked up at the sound of his voice.
Daehyun’s head tipped to the side, looking to the lump in his friend’s bed and glad that the other couldn’t see him. Otherwise, Youngjae would be privy to the pain that he was currently experiencing. He let out a soft breath before a small shrug. “She’s a nice girl; my parents like her.”
Youngjae hadn’t met Daehyun’s parents. They’d been too busy to go to Busan, let alone when Youngjae would need to spend the time with his own family. But she had?
Youngjae closed his eyes tightly and fell silent from then on, just wanting to go to sleep.
“You’d like her, too, if you gave her a chance.” Daehyun spoke softly, though wasn’t holding his breath for either a response or a time when Youngjae would actually meet his girlfriend.
Next Chapter
Previous Chapter
Youngjae didn’t come back for hours. He didn’t come back late into the night and by then; Daehyun had already turned in, lying in the bed that he had been sharing with his best friend and waiting for him to return. He couldn’t sleep, not until he knew that Youngjae was okay and the younger man wasn’t answering his phone, texts or calls and it left Daehyun feeling more worried than he would admit.
Youngjae was an adult, or nearly, and he could be out as long as he wanted or felt like it if he wanted to and yet Daehyun just wanted him home where he felt that the other man belonged-where Daehyun knew that he was safe.
When the door opened, Daehyun sat up, seeing the form of his best friend slide into the room while opening the door as little as possible, obviously not wanting to disturb Daehyun if he had been sleeping.
“Precious boy?” Daehyun inquired, not bothering to pretend like he was sleeping.
There was an audible wince that was followed by a sigh. “Yeah, Daehyun?” The fact that ‘mister’ hadn’t been used only made the silence seem even thicker. The elder man didn’t say anything as the door was shut, watching as the figure moved further into the room and towards his own bed, undressing so he could go to sleep and yet without any intention to speak and that struck Daehyun in such a way that he felt his heart clench in his chest.
“I’m sorry for what I did. I…didn’t mean-“ Daehyun had started but was cut off by Youngjae abruptly.
“Don’t. Just…” He sighed, still not looking over to his friend who was sitting up in bed. It wasn’t easy to see one another, but the closed blinds still let in lights from the city, making the outline of their forms evident and visible. “Don’t go there, Daehyun. It’s late and we have a long day tomorrow."
Everything about this was wrong; all of it and Daehyun just wished that he could take back whatever he had done. He wanted to go back to how they had been earlier that day before he had thought to kiss his friend’s neck, the long, supple neck that would look so beautiful if only he could just-
“Do you want to sleep with me tonight?” He tried. He wasn’t going to give up.
There was another sigh from Youngjae before the younger man finally turned to face his best friend. “No. I don’t want to sleep with you. I’ve never wanted to sleep with you and I have no fucking idea why you would think that’d ever be something that I’d want!” His voice rose in volume just slightly, no more because it’d bring their friend’s attention to them.
The pain that Daehyun had felt in his chest only intensified and he watched his friend for a long moment before laying down. Never did he think that he had pressured Youngjae into anything. Youngjae had kissed him first. He had initiated this relationship between them. But as he lay there, pulling the blanket up over his head to hide himself, he couldn’t help but feel so very betrayed and he didn’t even know why exactly. Just that…it hurt.
“Goodnight, prec-Youngjae-ah.” Daehyun corrected and the pain in his voice was nearly palpable, guilting Daehyun, yet he knew that it was the right decision.
----
Youngjae had chosen this. He had made it clear-okay, he hadn’t really made it clear, but it was close enough-that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with Daehyun because that was…too risky. Anyone could discover them and their careers would be ruined. And not just their careers, but of the other four who had been working for years to get to this. They weren’t supposed to be together and it was wrong for them to consider that the selfish act of being together would be appropriate in any way. Because it wasn’t.
But he hadn’t chosen for this to happen again. He would never want this to happen again.
As he stepped into the private room at the restaurant after a tiring dance practice with his bag slung over his shoulder as he talked to the maknae about something or the other, he was shocked to see Daehyun sitting off to the side, his arm around Heehyoung’s shoulders, holding her close to his side as he spoke with Himchan about something or another. Heehyoung was engaged in a conversation with their leader, speaking something about something and yet all Youngjae could concentrate on was how he was suddenly feeling sick to his stomach again.
He had been in denial about it the entire time that Daehyun had been dating the girl the first time around. He had pretended that she wasn’t the cause of his mysterious illness. But now…now there was no denying the fact that her existence was what made him want to throw up, want Daehyun’s arms around him instead of still around her.
There was a pain in his heart and he couldn’t place it-though, it was more like he didn’t want to place it as that would be admitting that he had done wrong, made a mistake and now had to live with the consequences. He didn’t want to be in a relationship with Daehyun because so much could go wrong and yet here was proof that Daehyun was okay with that and…he couldn’t accept it. He hadn’t thought that the man would move on so quickly and find himself someone else to be with. He had thought that he’d have time to get over the elder man and they could go their separate ways. Hell, Youngjae didn’t even know if he was gay or even slightly attracted to men-which was a lie because the thought of Daehyun’s lips running over his body was something that made his showers either extra cold or extra-long as of late.
“Hyung?” Youngjae’s eyes flickered suddenly from the woman who had joined them and to the maknae who was looking at him with concern-filled eyes. “Are you going to sit?”
Youngjae glanced down to the spot next to Daehyun and then the opposite next to Yongguk. Without waiting to reply, Youngjae moved and sat next to the leader, pretending that he didn’t notice the maknae’s disappointed expression as he sat next to Daehyun. The seating arrangement was greatly different than it usually was, but Youngjae didn’t think that he could sit next to the man that he had been so close to being intimate with without emptying his stomach the moment he took his first bite.
Without even realizing what his touch did, Yongguk placed a hand on Youngjae’s shoulder, squeezing gently in a sort of support that the leader inherently thought that the other man needed even if it wasn’t a conscious thought nor decision of his.
---
Her laugh echoed in Youngjae’s mind even as they made it back to their dorm, sitting down on his bed as everyone else prepared for the night. He could hear the maknaes laughing, he could hear Himchan talking loudly to the leader and the low toned response of the elder male, and he could hear Daehyun’s fingers moving over the screen of his cellphone, obviously texting Heehyoung if the small smile and glint in his eye was anything to go by.
Youngjae didn’t even bother undressing before he was flopping back on the bed, kicking off his socks only so he could crawl under the covers. He tried unsuccessfully to block out the sounds of Daehyun’s low chuckle and it was only possible to translate that laugh into one thing; he was aroused. That was probably one of the most painful things that Youngjae had ever heard and known. It was so hurtful to know that Daehyun was aroused by this woman he had said he’d break up with-and had broken up with.
“So you’re…back together?” The younger man spoke softly, not daring to spare a glance at the other who looked up at the sound of his voice.
Daehyun’s head tipped to the side, looking to the lump in his friend’s bed and glad that the other couldn’t see him. Otherwise, Youngjae would be privy to the pain that he was currently experiencing. He let out a soft breath before a small shrug. “She’s a nice girl; my parents like her.”
Youngjae hadn’t met Daehyun’s parents. They’d been too busy to go to Busan, let alone when Youngjae would need to spend the time with his own family. But she had?
Youngjae closed his eyes tightly and fell silent from then on, just wanting to go to sleep.
“You’d like her, too, if you gave her a chance.” Daehyun spoke softly, though wasn’t holding his breath for either a response or a time when Youngjae would actually meet his girlfriend.
Next Chapter