(no subject)
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
everything is so........i don't know.............
wow. well in a month i'm moving. but not far. only to markham. a friend of mine is moving into a bigger house and she offered me a room. so thats cool. i told rickey he could come with me if he wanted to, meaning that i'm willing to try and work things out if he would be willing to leave this fucking place with me...but he doesn't seem to be going for the idea. mostly because he doesn't know the people, but he had a the chance to talk to them, and didn't. so pretty much he's not open for any of the ideas that i have. i also brought up the idea to him that the baby could just be with me during the day (like it is anyways) and then sometime after rickey gets off of work i could either drop rj off or he could come pick him up. or we could hang out. whatever. but i can't live in his mom's house anymore. and i think that anyone would agree with me that i should do whats best for me and my baby. and whats best for my baby is to have a happy mom. and i'm not happy. so something needs to change. and a change in environment would be the first thing. i need my own space again. to be able to fucking use the bathroom without people walking in on me without even caring that i'm naked in the shower.
and rickey seems to have a problem with me living with people he doesn't know and his kid being around them. once again, he doesn't really seem willing to even get to know them. so i don't know what i'm going to do. i don't know where the baby would be sleeping. even though i have the option of him sharing a room with my friends son, or him staying in the same room with me. i'm not sure that going day to day and deciding that day what we're doing with him would be the best idea. but then i think to myself that things could be way worse. that at least he will have two homes to stay at. with food. and clothes. and toys. so then i feel a little bit better. so one month.
the countdown begins...
everything is so........i don't know.............
wow. well in a month i'm moving. but not far. only to markham. a friend of mine is moving into a bigger house and she offered me a room. so thats cool. i told rickey he could come with me if he wanted to, meaning that i'm willing to try and work things out if he would be willing to leave this fucking place with me...but he doesn't seem to be going for the idea. mostly because he doesn't know the people, but he had a the chance to talk to them, and didn't. so pretty much he's not open for any of the ideas that i have. i also brought up the idea to him that the baby could just be with me during the day (like it is anyways) and then sometime after rickey gets off of work i could either drop rj off or he could come pick him up. or we could hang out. whatever. but i can't live in his mom's house anymore. and i think that anyone would agree with me that i should do whats best for me and my baby. and whats best for my baby is to have a happy mom. and i'm not happy. so something needs to change. and a change in environment would be the first thing. i need my own space again. to be able to fucking use the bathroom without people walking in on me without even caring that i'm naked in the shower.
and rickey seems to have a problem with me living with people he doesn't know and his kid being around them. once again, he doesn't really seem willing to even get to know them. so i don't know what i'm going to do. i don't know where the baby would be sleeping. even though i have the option of him sharing a room with my friends son, or him staying in the same room with me. i'm not sure that going day to day and deciding that day what we're doing with him would be the best idea. but then i think to myself that things could be way worse. that at least he will have two homes to stay at. with food. and clothes. and toys. so then i feel a little bit better. so one month.
the countdown begins...