Only God can save me now

[la_la_buffy]

I can't stand this anymore. My life is like a river...sometimes it's good to fish in, but 85% of the time, it's bad to fish in. It's hard to explain. I worked today from 5-9 and from 10:30-2 I went on a bike ride with Justin to Royal Center and back which is like a total of 14-16 miles. I am exhausted. Anyways, back to my trauma,... I got mad at Justin when he picked me up at work, and Kenny wasn't exactly choosing my side, like usual, so I said "screw it. I'm walking home." I got about 2 blocks down and started crying. It was dark out, I was very cold, and sad, and lonely, and I couldn't take it anymore. I ended up heading back, but from 9:10ish-until I was done crying and got back to Justin and Kenny, by the way, who were still talking, I thought about suicide about 5 times. I know I shouldn't think that way, but I couldn't help it.......New Sad Topic.....I told Kenny I wanted to runaway with him, but I don't think he believed me. I don't know why, but when I'm in his arms and we are just sitting/standing there together holding each other, I'm relaxed and all of my troubles go away. He's the only person that has ever done that to me. Even if we are mad at each other and in the middle of a fight, if he just grabs me and holds me in his arms, I feel safe. I hope I spend the rest of my life with him. I love him so much. I'm not sue how many of you that are reading this actually undestand and have or do feel the way I feel with him holding me. I have to go now. I miss Kenny and he's not on, but I get to see him tomorrow when they pick me up for church. I'll talk to everyone later. Love, Lauren Elise
P.S. Please leave a comment. I want to know everyone's opinion on what I just said. Thanks!