(no subject)
Ack, I'm sick of not knowing what is me being dillusional and what is reality. What if I'm hurting people because I am not aware of their feelings? But then I think I'm aware, but not sure so therefore I don't do anything about it.
I keep going back and forth between what I want, what I think I should have, and what I think is right even though I'm not sure what is. I want what I'm used to and don't know what to do with what is new.
But then the changes also excite me because they are new and I can learn and experience what I'm not used to.
So, I am not physically addicted to coffee, but my motivation definitely is. I can't do stuff without all that caffeine swimming through my veins making be at least a little more productive. I helped my sister with one project and now I no longer know what to do with my day. Granted, I am limited because I might have baby duty later.
I can't wait to go to school because then I will be able to balance my responsibility and irresponsibility the way I like.
I keep going back and forth between what I want, what I think I should have, and what I think is right even though I'm not sure what is. I want what I'm used to and don't know what to do with what is new.
But then the changes also excite me because they are new and I can learn and experience what I'm not used to.
So, I am not physically addicted to coffee, but my motivation definitely is. I can't do stuff without all that caffeine swimming through my veins making be at least a little more productive. I helped my sister with one project and now I no longer know what to do with my day. Granted, I am limited because I might have baby duty later.
I can't wait to go to school because then I will be able to balance my responsibility and irresponsibility the way I like.