Wrapped in plastic
I don’t understand why I care. Analyzing, thinking, driving myself completely insane - what is a point of it all?
No point, just mind exercise?
I realize how many things he was not willing to do for me. I realize that he has never heard “no” from me. I was never enough. Sometimes - I was too much.
I see this all the time around me - men validating their lives through having what they want. Unfortunately these men are never willing to work for what they want to have, or work very little, and they own a feeling of complete entitlement to whatever their souls and bodies please to have.
Me - a toy in a pretty wrapper many of them want to own, have, use. Sometimes a shiny wrapper comes of and they see the person inside - that’s when they rebel. “Undo it!”, “Cover up” - which equals to actually said: “I expected that you would make me happy”. And then even a better shot in a head “Why wouldn’t you just be happy with me?”. I’m sorry, JR, but I don’t hear “I wanted to make YOU happy”. No, it’s all about you receiving and not giving.
Very rarely people are JUST happy. Usually they have to do a conscious effort, and in relationships people rely on each other for happiness. That is the only reason people even get into such thing as a relationship with another person, as selfish as it might be, - to have someone doing an effort to make them happy. And of course - to make the person you love happy. Unfortunately one is not possible without the other. Only unconditional love between mother and child can handle a one way relationship - one side receives, another side gives. In no other cases I can see an unconditional selfless, self-sacrificing one way love. Unless one person is suppressed, manipulated or lacks confidence and needs constant self reassurance in form of being with someone no matter how this person is been treated.
So that’s why we are with each other. To make each other feel good, happy, to suffer less in this already unreasonable life. A relationship is like a sweet extra after a much needed dinner. Relationship only makes sense if it makes you happy, meaning if the other person makes you happy. Now, when I say “makes” I don’t only mean by their presence in your life, but by actual acts aimed to please you.
Feel free to disagree. But this is the only way it works for me.
So what is the question than? Are you just cruel or immature? Maybe a little bit of both?
Maybe I’ll never know…
No point, just mind exercise?
I realize how many things he was not willing to do for me. I realize that he has never heard “no” from me. I was never enough. Sometimes - I was too much.
I see this all the time around me - men validating their lives through having what they want. Unfortunately these men are never willing to work for what they want to have, or work very little, and they own a feeling of complete entitlement to whatever their souls and bodies please to have.
Me - a toy in a pretty wrapper many of them want to own, have, use. Sometimes a shiny wrapper comes of and they see the person inside - that’s when they rebel. “Undo it!”, “Cover up” - which equals to actually said: “I expected that you would make me happy”. And then even a better shot in a head “Why wouldn’t you just be happy with me?”. I’m sorry, JR, but I don’t hear “I wanted to make YOU happy”. No, it’s all about you receiving and not giving.
Very rarely people are JUST happy. Usually they have to do a conscious effort, and in relationships people rely on each other for happiness. That is the only reason people even get into such thing as a relationship with another person, as selfish as it might be, - to have someone doing an effort to make them happy. And of course - to make the person you love happy. Unfortunately one is not possible without the other. Only unconditional love between mother and child can handle a one way relationship - one side receives, another side gives. In no other cases I can see an unconditional selfless, self-sacrificing one way love. Unless one person is suppressed, manipulated or lacks confidence and needs constant self reassurance in form of being with someone no matter how this person is been treated.
So that’s why we are with each other. To make each other feel good, happy, to suffer less in this already unreasonable life. A relationship is like a sweet extra after a much needed dinner. Relationship only makes sense if it makes you happy, meaning if the other person makes you happy. Now, when I say “makes” I don’t only mean by their presence in your life, but by actual acts aimed to please you.
Feel free to disagree. But this is the only way it works for me.
So what is the question than? Are you just cruel or immature? Maybe a little bit of both?
Maybe I’ll never know…