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[chickbro]

Who: Noah Morgan & Charles Xavier
What: Noah sneaking around after she loses her sense of touch for betraying the royalty. Oops.
Where: Xavier Mansion
When: 23rd. After Tony read the note she left him.
Warnings: IDK CUTE SHIT. I:

Comments

[arethebettermen]

"Because what you think is glamorous is far from actually being glamorous... you don't realize how much mutants want to be normal, most of the time." Charles said softly, looking at her. While he was proud being who and what he was, he wanted what he was to be normal. He took a moment to arrange his thoughts properly. "I've already told you how much it means to me that you let me into your mind so willingly... but not why it does. Not in a great amount of detail, that is."

Charles pulled her closer, trying to convey some form of comfort despite the fact she couldn't feel it. "Even among fellow mutants, Noah, telepathy is something that people do not like. They don't want someone to know what they are thinking, and very rarely do they want someone to actually know what sort of person they are. I promised Raven I would never read her mind, because she is my sister, but it was still..." he trailed off to try and find the best way of putting it. It'd be easier to show her rather than say it in words, but, he wasn't sure he wanted to overwhelm her more than she already was.

"It's similar to having to cut part of yourself off to others. You can't be who you truly are. The only person who never seemed to mind, before I met you, was Erik. Even though I had read his mind and memories without his permission, he didn't mind, because it meant someone understood why he was the way he was." He paused again and looked down. "Even so, in the end, he found a way to block me completely from his mind." And, that was worse than being paralyzed; the bullet was an accident. Being forced out of his best friend's mind - the only person who let him into their mind? That was what truly hurt the most.

Charles brought his gaze back up to hers. Hopefully she understood.

[chickbro]

"Maybe it's not necessarily glamorous, but it's still something I could never do," that was her whole point. Just that he had something that she didn't, along with everyone else and their crazy abilities while she was just some lame human chick in the military. Oh well.

She furrowed her brows slightly, frowning when he started talking about being an outcast among outcasts. She could understand not wanting someone to read your mind. People had things they wanted to hide. Even she did, but most of the time she didn't really care if he knew, it was only times like this that she worried because she didn't want her entire plan sabotaged. Not that she thought he would...but she had to be careful anyway. Like Erik, she liked how he could tell why she did what she did without her actually admitting it outright. It made things easier on her end, and there was no reason to keep him from doing what he was accustomed to.

"Well...I don't mind you being in my head, you know that. Sorry I tried to push you out of it earlier, but I really didn't want anyone to know what I was doing just yet," she sighed, "Because I didn't know what would happen in the long run. In case they just decided to kill me and keep me dead in the unnatural." which they totally could do, "I probably shouldn't have come here, but deep down I guess I wanted you to find me and just kind of pry into my head because I was scared of being alone during this." and it wasn't like anyone else could read her mind.

[arethebettermen]

"My point is that you don't need to have something glamorous or to do something amazing. You don't need to be a hero to matter, Noah." Charles said with a sigh. "In fact, being a hero is one of the worst things I can think to be."

He closed his eyes at her revelation and sighed again. Charles turned his head and kissed her forehead, pressing his face against her head. He wasn't exactly sure what he'd do if they did kill her and keep her dead. Losing another friend who allowed him to be himself after losing two others? Even though he didn't want to think about it, he knew it was a very high probability.

"If there is something you don't want me to know, then imagine a door or something and I will not pry into it." He said, even though he knew Noah would want him to pry. Charles closed his eyes for a moment before pulling back and looking at her. The question in his mind hit him hard, but he had to ask it, and he wanted her to say it. He didn't want to read her thoughts to know her answer.

"Is helping everyone else in this city truly worth your life?" He asked. "Is it honestly worth it to get everyone out of this dream world?" Was it worth the risk of her dying in a dream and being comatose in the waking world?

[chickbro]

"I'm not doing it for the glamour or anything, I'm doing it because it's what I think is right and needs to be done." If people wanted to get out of the city so bad then she was at least going to try. Since no one else was really doing much aside from the occasional resistance meeting, but they all seemed to end the same. With nothing happening.

She closed her eyes when he kissed her forehead, keeping them shut for a while after, "I just told you I don't really want to keep anything from you, but if I have to in the future then I'll try." she wouldn't really, but he didn't need to know that just yet if he didn't already.

When the question was asked, she looked back up at him, her lips twisting into an even deeper frown. There was barely any hesitation before she said, "Yes." It was worth it. One life for the freedom of hundreds, or thousands, however many people were actually in Promenade. "They all want to escape, so I'm going to try and help as best I can. You want to go home, too, don't you? And no one says I'm going to die. Hell, I might just walk away beaten and bloody if I beg and plead hard enough." best case scenario being that she just got kicked out of the guard.

[arethebettermen]

At her question, it was his turn to frown. He looked forward for a moment, honestly thinking about her question. There were so many conflicting emotions and thoughts that he could of given, and none of them seemed to be correct.

Home was where his students were, who needed him, but that meant going back to all of the difficulties. Back to his students and the day-to-day struggle of therapy for his back (which, he admittedly did in Promenade), but also back to being friendless. He adored his students, but they saw him as a mentor, a teacher, not a close friend. That was perhaps the one pull the dream city had over reality: friends.

With a defeated look, he turned back to her.

"I need to return home." He said. "Needing to and wanting to are two completely different things."

[chickbro]

"Need. Want. Either way, for some reason home is where you need to get, and if me doing this gets you there, then I'll do what I can." don't get all philosophical on her, Charles, she's going to do it one way or another. "I can't make any promises, but I'm trying to best I can hopefully whatever info I can hand off to Tony and the resistance will help give everyone a push in the right direction," because, truth be told, she didn't really care one way or another whether she left or not. All she had back home were her brothers and according to her mirror everything was peachy keen with them.

"You really can't hell Tony about any of this, Charles. If he finds out then he'll go stomping around Promenade, breaking things in his suit and if he gets captured then a lot of us are screwed."

[arethebettermen]

"I know."

He lifted his hand to his face, rubbing at his temples. He hated being in positions like this: incapable of helping the people he cared about. He couldn't help Noah without destroying her plans, so he had to stand back and watch as she was hurt and watch as Tony blamed himself. He was always standing there having to let events fold out, unable to help, and he was so tired of it. When was he actually going to be able to help the ones he cared about? Times like this made him happy no one else was a telepath, because then they wouldn't have to see how frustrated he was. No one would have to see him as something other than the apparent amazing Professor X.

Of course that meant he had to always live up to the expectation of how everyone saw this Professor X, this man he was supposed to be, but maybe that was alright. No one should have to handle Charles Xavier, the man who was just as messed up as the people who he tried to help. The man who had been abused, who was terrified of being alone, and the man who was struggling with coming to terms with being paralyzed for the rest of his life.

The prospect of a friend, especially like Noah, being taken away was affecting him more than he thought. Hopefully she didn't notice something was wrong.

"I know." He repeated.

[chickbro]

She noticed. It wasn't that hard to tell when something was bothering him. Hell, it would be the same for anyone she knew, because they all would normally keep lecturing her until she told them to shut up -- and even then they wouldn't. He didn't seem to be fighting back anymore so something was obviously bothering him.

"Sorry I came here," she said with another sigh, shifting so she was leaning back against him with her head on his shoulder, "I shouldn't have. Now you're all caught up in the middle of things. I'm making you keep secrets and I'll bet money that you're gonna blame yourself for stuff, just like Tony will." that's probably what bothered her the most, "None of this is your fault, or his. It's something I chose to do myself so the only one at fault is me in the end." she glanced up at him and offered a small smile, "Stop looking like a kicked puppy. I'll be fine. Promise."

[arethebettermen]

"I would rather you be here than on your ship with the chance of seriously injuring yourself." He said, dragging his hand down his face and looking down at her. "I blame myself for being..." No, that wasn't really important. She didn't need to be burdened by his internal burdens. And that could potentially complicate their relationship.

"You know you can't promise you'll be fine." Charles said instead. "We don't know what they are going to do to you once they find you."

[chickbro]

"You blame yourself for being what?" she wasn't just going to let that go, Charles. Don't think she will. Because if he can read her mind and know how she works then dammit she was going to know what the hell was going on in his head at least some of the time.

Okay, so she couldn't promise that, but it was worth a shot, "No, we don't, but I'm not going down without a fight, so at the very least I can promise I won't die and if they lock me up I'll find a way out."

[arethebettermen]

"The only promise I need to hear from you, Noah, is that you will do what you can to stay alive." He ignored her question. "Even if it means having to wait a little longer to escape. I can't lose you as well."

[chickbro]

"I promise," because why wouldn't she do her best to stay alive? That would just be stupid if she didn't. She had to frown though because he had obviously avoided her question and, contrary to popular belief, she wasn't an idiot. Shocking, right?

"Now tell me what you're blaming yourself for."

[arethebettermen]

Of course she wasn't going to let it go. He wished she would, but he knew it was futile. He sighed, rubbing the side of his head with his index and middle finger. Charles was never comfortable with sharing how he felt, which he was sure she knew, but that didn't change the fact she deserved to know more about him when he could read her mind. Still, he preferred to remain bottled up, because once one thing came out it was going to be followed by another, and another...

"For..." everything he couldn't stop, "being powerless. I suppose that is the best way of putting it."

[chickbro]

Well, it was only fair, right? It'd be nice to know a little more about him if he was going to be in her head, knowing everything about her and then some, knowing exactly what she was thinking and all that. Besides, bottling things up wouldn't help him in the long run and if she could help then she'd at least try?

She just kept frowning at him, and she would have hit him but she didn't know how hard she would end up doing so, "Everyone feels like that. Sometimes there's just nothing we can do. That's how life goes."

[arethebettermen]

"Ah, but I'm a telepath, as you've so kindly pointed out." Charles said. "With all the power I have, you would think it'd be extremely easy to keep people safe. The fact is, I'm not powerful. I'm not this ma--" he stopped himself on that and took a deep breath. No, he wasn't going to go on that route. Not now, not ever, not with anyone. They didn't need to know he wasn't the impressive and powerful man that they all thought Professor X to be.

"I'm someone who, despite his amazing gifts, can't keep anyone he loves safe." Charles spoke again after a moment. "Not his father... or his mother, or even the stepfather that hated him so much. Especially not his sister or his best friend, let alone the three young men he's taken in. And, now, I can't help nor protect you from even yourself, Noah."

He swallowed and glanced away, trying to calm himself down. She was in enough turmoil and distress without him adding his emotional baggage to it. Noah didn't need to know, at least the moment, how much this situation made him scared. How angry it made him that events were repeating themselves in a different fashion around him. Noah wasn't a pathetic crippled mutant who couldn't even sort out his own problems, let alone help others. He was most thankful for that, but he didn't want her to know how little he thought of himself.

[chickbro]

"Being a telepath doesn't mean you can save everyone. It just means you know what's going on in their heads. So maybe you could negotiate and figure out what they want, but even then sometimes people don't listen." she was a prime example of 'people who doesn't listen'. "Also, if you don't stop cutting yourself off, I'm going to rip your tongue out." okay, maybe not, but still!

She shook her head, "That's not your fault. You're not the only one in the world that can't save the people they love. It's just...something that happens. To all of us. There's a bunch of friends I lost in the Navy that I could have helped, and I might blame myself for not being able to do anything but...shit happens. Especially to good people. Unfortunately, you're a good person so you're bound to get fucked over a lot." optimism at its finest right there.

"I'm sorry I dragged you into this. Really. I didn't want to get anyone else involved. Don't blame yourself for anything."