sometimes you have to lie about stuff.
Who: Hope Estheim and anyone else who runs into him.
What: End of the line. L'Cie who fail to complete their Focus in time turn into Cie'th.
Where: Streets of Promenade, edge of the city.
When: Early evening
Warnings: Angst, violence. Spoilers.
Hope had known it was coming; of course he had. He kept watch on the mirror each day, watching it tick away the life that he wasn't living as the brand on his arm grew and grew. Tiny, subtle details that mattered the very most when his brand had been so evolved in the first place.
It wasn't that he was purposely trying to keep himself isolated from everyone else in Promenade. It was that he could feel how wrong it was to be here when he was supposed to be home, supposed to be fulfilling (or not fulfilling-- what had everyone else decided? Were they going to die in order to keep Cocoon safe? He felt so out of the loop, alone and quiet in some dream world while his world was ending and he could only watch in slow motion) their Focus and fighting to save... someone. Someones. Themselves? He didn't even know anymore. He just knew they were fighting because they couldn't just stop, or else they would be in the very same place he was in-- lost and confused and just... waiting.
It had been half a day overall. He had seen it. In the three and a half months he had been here, less than a day had passed in his world-- but it was such a pivotal day. He had watched himself trek across Eden, past soldiers and adamantoise stampeding down the streets. Had watched the journey through Edenhall and into Orphan's Cradle.
And after everything that happened here, he had watched today as his mirror went stark white and he knew-- he knew...
He was out of time.
It didn't matter if he found a way home from here anymore. He couldn't-- couldn't even--
Perhaps it was that knowledge, but his chest felt constricted even as he raced out of the house he had been placed in; legs stumbling over themselves and slow as molasses, limbs heavy as he wondered how much time did he have? Could he make it out of the city? because he had always imagined the change to be instantaneous. But then, Promenade was slow. How much could instantaneous be slowed down, though? Enough to get him a block away? Two?
He had taken his Portal with him, ready to warn people but it felt like his voice was gone-- like it had been replaced with sounds that he couldn't yet make. He hadn't taken his mask with him, despite the last vestige of sunlight still hanging over the edge of the horizon; he ignored the people around him who protested at his bared face, and those who called him rude as he shoved past them.
Couldn't speak, couldn't run, couldn't fight. The last few months he had lived in terror of this moment, but the reality felt so much worse. He needed to call someone but he couldn't. Needed to get away from people but it seemed like each step was harder to take than the last no matter how much he willed himself to go. Go further, as far as he could away from people even if the streets were now empty and he could barely see past his own bangs. And even his racing, panicked heartbeat pounding in his ears... grew slower and slower. Changing.
No! This wasn't how it was supposed to end! He wasn't supposed to be here; none of this was supposed to happen. If only it hadn't happened, if only he had managed to fulfill his Focus... if only he had never been on that train, had never gone to Bodhum... his mom wouldn't have died. He wouldn't be in this situation. This wouldn't have happened.
If only if only ifonlyifonlyifonly--
It wasn't fair!
He couldn't think, couldn't even stop to take a breath and calm himself because (rage and regret, that was all that existed for Cie'th) he hurt and things weren't fair and it should never have happened this way!
Crystals, crystals, and his vision was turning to crystal and he couldn't remember why it wasn't fair anymore or why he was trying to run away from people (people hurt him, why would he be trying to protect them?) or anything but his Focus, Focus, he couldn't fulfill his Focus and his Portal (what was that? Why did he have that?) clattering to the floor as he fell, face first but not feeling physical pain anymore.
And what got up again after that wasn't human anymore. Wasn't even l'Cie. Wasn't Hope Estheim because that name meant nothing to it. It looked nothing human with its blue crystal spires for limbs and the red eye rage at its heart. Nothing left of humanity but painrageregret and it opened its mouth to screech its agony to the world.
Pain.
What: End of the line. L'Cie who fail to complete their Focus in time turn into Cie'th.
Where: Streets of Promenade, edge of the city.
When: Early evening
Warnings: Angst, violence. Spoilers.
Hope had known it was coming; of course he had. He kept watch on the mirror each day, watching it tick away the life that he wasn't living as the brand on his arm grew and grew. Tiny, subtle details that mattered the very most when his brand had been so evolved in the first place.
It wasn't that he was purposely trying to keep himself isolated from everyone else in Promenade. It was that he could feel how wrong it was to be here when he was supposed to be home, supposed to be fulfilling (or not fulfilling-- what had everyone else decided? Were they going to die in order to keep Cocoon safe? He felt so out of the loop, alone and quiet in some dream world while his world was ending and he could only watch in slow motion) their Focus and fighting to save... someone. Someones. Themselves? He didn't even know anymore. He just knew they were fighting because they couldn't just stop, or else they would be in the very same place he was in-- lost and confused and just... waiting.
It had been half a day overall. He had seen it. In the three and a half months he had been here, less than a day had passed in his world-- but it was such a pivotal day. He had watched himself trek across Eden, past soldiers and adamantoise stampeding down the streets. Had watched the journey through Edenhall and into Orphan's Cradle.
And after everything that happened here, he had watched today as his mirror went stark white and he knew-- he knew...
He was out of time.
It didn't matter if he found a way home from here anymore. He couldn't-- couldn't even--
Perhaps it was that knowledge, but his chest felt constricted even as he raced out of the house he had been placed in; legs stumbling over themselves and slow as molasses, limbs heavy as he wondered how much time did he have? Could he make it out of the city? because he had always imagined the change to be instantaneous. But then, Promenade was slow. How much could instantaneous be slowed down, though? Enough to get him a block away? Two?
He had taken his Portal with him, ready to warn people but it felt like his voice was gone-- like it had been replaced with sounds that he couldn't yet make. He hadn't taken his mask with him, despite the last vestige of sunlight still hanging over the edge of the horizon; he ignored the people around him who protested at his bared face, and those who called him rude as he shoved past them.
Couldn't speak, couldn't run, couldn't fight. The last few months he had lived in terror of this moment, but the reality felt so much worse. He needed to call someone but he couldn't. Needed to get away from people but it seemed like each step was harder to take than the last no matter how much he willed himself to go. Go further, as far as he could away from people even if the streets were now empty and he could barely see past his own bangs. And even his racing, panicked heartbeat pounding in his ears... grew slower and slower. Changing.
No! This wasn't how it was supposed to end! He wasn't supposed to be here; none of this was supposed to happen. If only it hadn't happened, if only he had managed to fulfill his Focus... if only he had never been on that train, had never gone to Bodhum... his mom wouldn't have died. He wouldn't be in this situation. This wouldn't have happened.
If only if only ifonlyifonlyifonly--
It wasn't fair!
He couldn't think, couldn't even stop to take a breath and calm himself because (rage and regret, that was all that existed for Cie'th) he hurt and things weren't fair and it should never have happened this way!
Crystals, crystals, and his vision was turning to crystal and he couldn't remember why it wasn't fair anymore or why he was trying to run away from people (people hurt him, why would he be trying to protect them?) or anything but his Focus, Focus, he couldn't fulfill his Focus and his Portal (what was that? Why did he have that?) clattering to the floor as he fell, face first but not feeling physical pain anymore.
And what got up again after that wasn't human anymore. Wasn't even l'Cie. Wasn't Hope Estheim because that name meant nothing to it. It looked nothing human with its blue crystal spires for limbs and the red eye rage at its heart. Nothing left of humanity but painrageregret and it opened its mouth to screech its agony to the world.
Pain.