of things that bother me II why aren't we happy?
Everyone seems to give the "holy grail" of life a different spin nowadays. Since young, we are bombarded with different versions of the "ideal way to live life". Some tell us that it's most important to start a family (I have to admit that doesn't appeal very much to me, though I do respect family values), others say that getting into college and a respectable job would seal the deal. A few say that being happy matters the most, but this begs the question: how do you "make yourself" happy?
In case you are wondering, I wouldn't call myself "unhappy" right now. I'm facing a little stress from adapting to some conditions right now, but apart from them, I would say I'm pretty happy with what I have. Maybe it's because after years of yearning to sell my car and to take public transportation (save the Earth guys!), I am now faced with the "ordeal" of squeezing with a crowd of super gloomy-looking people in the bus everyday... For some reason, people in fast-moving cities always look like someone in their family just died when they take public transportation... I get dirty looks when I try to squeeze past someone, and I get an angry hiss when someone steps on my toe as if it were my fault... I must be the only one on bus 197 that smiles his way to work (actually the secret is in the shuffle: just program ABBA or something of that sort and it's hard to scowl your way to work. awkward dancing on bus not encouraged though) which I guess makes me some kind of endangered bamboo-shoots-eating panda or UNESCO World Heritage site.
So I've been trying to get Ms D to set up my computer terminal for me at work. When I called on Monday, I was surprised to hear a really manly voice on the line. She told me she was busy and that she would come on Tuesday to set up my computer. On Tuesday, no one came down and she didn't pick up my call. On Wednesday, I checked my email and I saw an email dated Monday afternoon "hi, I might be on sick leave on Tuesday and might not come install your computer, in which case I will come on Wednesday to do it", which instantaneously told me that I was dealing with a woman of telepathic powers unknown to Mankind or George Bush. On Wednesday I called her several times to no avail, and she didn't return my voice mails either. So my co-worker said that I needed to "complain" because I just "came back from Stanford", which I thought was the most ridiculous suggestion ever. So I thought I could bear without a computer for longer, and just before I left work today, Ms D showed up at my desk with all the computer parts in a trolley. I have to admit I was a little surprised when I saw her: she had short hair that was gelled up and standing in a spikish way. Her hairline was receding the male way (i.e. at the temples) and she was in a pair of very manly-looking jeans worn at least 5 inches above her waist. Her face was scarred but I couldn't tell if it was a very bad case of acne or if it was some kind of chemical exposure. She was quite short and slightly stocky and she looked like someone had stepped on her tail or something. The moment she came, everyone in my office acted like some abomination was in the room and it was best not to look or worse still make conversation. So I thanked her for bringing up the computer and apologized for all the calls I made, and suddenly she smiled and told me her
"story". Apparently, she hurt her ligament more than half a year ago and no doctor would refer her to a specialist, and then her supervisor decided to make her move all the IT equipment in the library to another floor, so she "decided" that she was too sick to come to work on Tuesday. We chatted more and she kept apologizing for the delay and I told her it really wasn't her fault. To be honest, if I had known of her "predicament" I would have gone down to collect the computer myself. In the first place, I wasn't even sure what the right procedure was and had just called the number of the IT department. Then she told me that she left the monitor cable in her office and would deliver it to me later, but I ended up going down to get it myself cuz I didn't want her to make an extra trip up. We chatted a little more and I felt like I understood why people misunderstand her and get the wrong impression that she's some sort of evil person when she's just trying to deal with some issues in her work.
When I got back to my office, suddenly everyone came up to "chat" with me. "wow you actually managed to charm her huh?" "omg i've never seen her so nice to anyone before!" "what? she ACTUALLY brought your computer up for you? I waited a year and it never happened!" blah blah blah la la la.. The worst comment was "i think she thinks you are cute that's why she was nice to you but not us" which I felt was downright insulting.
The more I think about it, the more I feel that many of us aren't happy because we don't allow ourselves to be. All the wants, all the desires, all the can't-haves... And if we can't be happy, we won't let others be too. We judge others like we're chief justice of the republic of congo, and we measure what we have and how happy we are against others. I don't think I know the greater path to happiness, and who knows it could be an illusion we're made to think is necessary in our lifetimes. But I sure think that I can be happy any day withot it being on anyone's expense.
(wow this has to be the most optimistic entry I've written in a long time!)
Anyway, I have started work on dengue virus and hopefully work will go well (we all want to be happy don't we?)... I'm running to work tomorrow and I think it will be fun... hope everyone's having a great week!
Is It Love
In case you are wondering, I wouldn't call myself "unhappy" right now. I'm facing a little stress from adapting to some conditions right now, but apart from them, I would say I'm pretty happy with what I have. Maybe it's because after years of yearning to sell my car and to take public transportation (save the Earth guys!), I am now faced with the "ordeal" of squeezing with a crowd of super gloomy-looking people in the bus everyday... For some reason, people in fast-moving cities always look like someone in their family just died when they take public transportation... I get dirty looks when I try to squeeze past someone, and I get an angry hiss when someone steps on my toe as if it were my fault... I must be the only one on bus 197 that smiles his way to work (actually the secret is in the shuffle: just program ABBA or something of that sort and it's hard to scowl your way to work. awkward dancing on bus not encouraged though) which I guess makes me some kind of endangered bamboo-shoots-eating panda or UNESCO World Heritage site.
So I've been trying to get Ms D to set up my computer terminal for me at work. When I called on Monday, I was surprised to hear a really manly voice on the line. She told me she was busy and that she would come on Tuesday to set up my computer. On Tuesday, no one came down and she didn't pick up my call. On Wednesday, I checked my email and I saw an email dated Monday afternoon "hi, I might be on sick leave on Tuesday and might not come install your computer, in which case I will come on Wednesday to do it", which instantaneously told me that I was dealing with a woman of telepathic powers unknown to Mankind or George Bush. On Wednesday I called her several times to no avail, and she didn't return my voice mails either. So my co-worker said that I needed to "complain" because I just "came back from Stanford", which I thought was the most ridiculous suggestion ever. So I thought I could bear without a computer for longer, and just before I left work today, Ms D showed up at my desk with all the computer parts in a trolley. I have to admit I was a little surprised when I saw her: she had short hair that was gelled up and standing in a spikish way. Her hairline was receding the male way (i.e. at the temples) and she was in a pair of very manly-looking jeans worn at least 5 inches above her waist. Her face was scarred but I couldn't tell if it was a very bad case of acne or if it was some kind of chemical exposure. She was quite short and slightly stocky and she looked like someone had stepped on her tail or something. The moment she came, everyone in my office acted like some abomination was in the room and it was best not to look or worse still make conversation. So I thanked her for bringing up the computer and apologized for all the calls I made, and suddenly she smiled and told me her
"story". Apparently, she hurt her ligament more than half a year ago and no doctor would refer her to a specialist, and then her supervisor decided to make her move all the IT equipment in the library to another floor, so she "decided" that she was too sick to come to work on Tuesday. We chatted more and she kept apologizing for the delay and I told her it really wasn't her fault. To be honest, if I had known of her "predicament" I would have gone down to collect the computer myself. In the first place, I wasn't even sure what the right procedure was and had just called the number of the IT department. Then she told me that she left the monitor cable in her office and would deliver it to me later, but I ended up going down to get it myself cuz I didn't want her to make an extra trip up. We chatted a little more and I felt like I understood why people misunderstand her and get the wrong impression that she's some sort of evil person when she's just trying to deal with some issues in her work.
When I got back to my office, suddenly everyone came up to "chat" with me. "wow you actually managed to charm her huh?" "omg i've never seen her so nice to anyone before!" "what? she ACTUALLY brought your computer up for you? I waited a year and it never happened!" blah blah blah la la la.. The worst comment was "i think she thinks you are cute that's why she was nice to you but not us" which I felt was downright insulting.
The more I think about it, the more I feel that many of us aren't happy because we don't allow ourselves to be. All the wants, all the desires, all the can't-haves... And if we can't be happy, we won't let others be too. We judge others like we're chief justice of the republic of congo, and we measure what we have and how happy we are against others. I don't think I know the greater path to happiness, and who knows it could be an illusion we're made to think is necessary in our lifetimes. But I sure think that I can be happy any day withot it being on anyone's expense.
(wow this has to be the most optimistic entry I've written in a long time!)
Anyway, I have started work on dengue virus and hopefully work will go well (we all want to be happy don't we?)... I'm running to work tomorrow and I think it will be fun... hope everyone's having a great week!
Is It Love
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