Meh...
Ok maybe the updating twice a week thing isn't going to plan like I hoped it would. :P
Not a lot been happening recently. I've not really been feelin great for the last couple of days. I don't really know whats wrong. I'm just feelin.. i dunno.. sick, down, like I'm going to burst into tears at any moment. I hate feelin like this. I don't feel like my normal self any more. Even my mum has noticed it. She keeps askin of I'm ok? I say yes. But I don't feel it. I feel like all I ever do is work and sit in the house. A sheltered exsistence. I have a constant lump of tears in my throat and I can't get rid of it. People will probably think I'm being over dramatic. But I'm not. I'm really not. I find my self cryin to myself all the time and I don't know what to do about it. I remember feelin like this before and I ended up really unwell because of it. I don't want that to happen again but I'm scared it will. I'm terrified of starting Uni. It's like starting school all over again. Having to make new friends. Worrying if its the right thing I'm doing all the time. It makes me sick just thinking about it. I know its what I want to do, thats the only comforting thought really. That and the fact that I know I've probably got the grades to go. I know everyone is probably crapping themselves about their results. But if I'm honest. I'm not. I know I've passed all of mine. I know that sounds quite big-headed but why lie? Why go about saying, oh i might have failed this that and the next thing when I know i probably havent? So all in all these summer holidays are turning out to be remarkably shit for me. With the exception of the holiday, which was amazing. Its all really been downhill from there. I'm sorry to dampen your day with all this depressing crap. You don't have to read it if you don't want. You don't even have to comment. I don't really care. I just had to vent it out somewhere.
xx
Not a lot been happening recently. I've not really been feelin great for the last couple of days. I don't really know whats wrong. I'm just feelin.. i dunno.. sick, down, like I'm going to burst into tears at any moment. I hate feelin like this. I don't feel like my normal self any more. Even my mum has noticed it. She keeps askin of I'm ok? I say yes. But I don't feel it. I feel like all I ever do is work and sit in the house. A sheltered exsistence. I have a constant lump of tears in my throat and I can't get rid of it. People will probably think I'm being over dramatic. But I'm not. I'm really not. I find my self cryin to myself all the time and I don't know what to do about it. I remember feelin like this before and I ended up really unwell because of it. I don't want that to happen again but I'm scared it will. I'm terrified of starting Uni. It's like starting school all over again. Having to make new friends. Worrying if its the right thing I'm doing all the time. It makes me sick just thinking about it. I know its what I want to do, thats the only comforting thought really. That and the fact that I know I've probably got the grades to go. I know everyone is probably crapping themselves about their results. But if I'm honest. I'm not. I know I've passed all of mine. I know that sounds quite big-headed but why lie? Why go about saying, oh i might have failed this that and the next thing when I know i probably havent? So all in all these summer holidays are turning out to be remarkably shit for me. With the exception of the holiday, which was amazing. Its all really been downhill from there. I'm sorry to dampen your day with all this depressing crap. You don't have to read it if you don't want. You don't even have to comment. I don't really care. I just had to vent it out somewhere.
xx