(no subject)
marta and i
i'm in a bad mood.
i don't like school.
i am forcing myself to do homework and study hard this quarter rather than just blow it off and it's not making me happy. i feel like my whole life revolves around my classes right now and that's not the way i want it to be. i don't have time to relax. the weather getting colder is making me anxious. i hate being this way, so unhappy. i told myself it was going to be an amazing year and it's really not. my life is falling apart and everything i hold near and dear to my heart is disappearing. i have always had those times in my life where i decide it's time for a new beginning, to drop everything and start fresh, and i thought my life was finally heading in the right direction when i had my last "new beginning". but i can see clearly now it's time to start fresh again. i don't know exactly what needs to change but i'm really frustrated and i feel like i'm consistantly getting fucked over by the direction my life takes. i'm always needing one of those "new beginnings". i just want to finally be satisfied and on the right track. why do i have to always start over?