If I Died, Would You Care....
Looook, another quiz.
My japanese name is 藤原 Fujiwara (wisteria fields) 歩 Ayumi (walk, deeper meaning: walk your own way).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.
Yesterday I was really depressed, not for any reason in particular...I didn't take my pill for a few days and so I believe it screwed me up big-time.
Then Matt and I went to Taco Bell and on the way there this van came about a half-inch (no exagerration) away from smashing into the passenger side. I looked over and saw a big turn signal blinking in my face; he swerved away at the very last possible millisecond. Since I was already uber-depressed and then that just really scared me, I started crying. I felt like such a sissy baby. I mean, really. WTF.
I have started walking outside during the day to see if I can do anything about my nasty thighs. My dad also has a treadmill in his shop, which I might give a whirl after dinner tonight.
I haven't heard from Andrea in a while, I hope she is starting to feel better...she had her tonsils out like a week and 2 days ago. I'm not allowed to see Harry Potter without her. XD
Sigh. Ugh, I hate bitching, but I guess holding it in will just make me more bitchy. I have been feeling so, fucking, worthless. Not a day goes by, whether I have been taking my pills or not, where I don't envision myself dying in some manner. And then that voice comes back. "They'd be better off without you." And, out loud I reply, "I know."
I'm out of my god damned mind, I know it....but, argh. I just want to be normal, just normal. I'm not asking for anything extra special about me, is that so much to ask? I'm tired of this body, of this brain, of these defects.
....
Hmm, I think I've blabbered on rather long enough for now. I'm going to go watch a movie with my Davey <3 in it, he always makes me feel better when nothing else does...
My japanese name is 藤原 Fujiwara (wisteria fields) 歩 Ayumi (walk, deeper meaning: walk your own way).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.
Yesterday I was really depressed, not for any reason in particular...I didn't take my pill for a few days and so I believe it screwed me up big-time.
Then Matt and I went to Taco Bell and on the way there this van came about a half-inch (no exagerration) away from smashing into the passenger side. I looked over and saw a big turn signal blinking in my face; he swerved away at the very last possible millisecond. Since I was already uber-depressed and then that just really scared me, I started crying. I felt like such a sissy baby. I mean, really. WTF.
I have started walking outside during the day to see if I can do anything about my nasty thighs. My dad also has a treadmill in his shop, which I might give a whirl after dinner tonight.
I haven't heard from Andrea in a while, I hope she is starting to feel better...she had her tonsils out like a week and 2 days ago. I'm not allowed to see Harry Potter without her. XD
Sigh. Ugh, I hate bitching, but I guess holding it in will just make me more bitchy. I have been feeling so, fucking, worthless. Not a day goes by, whether I have been taking my pills or not, where I don't envision myself dying in some manner. And then that voice comes back. "They'd be better off without you." And, out loud I reply, "I know."
I'm out of my god damned mind, I know it....but, argh. I just want to be normal, just normal. I'm not asking for anything extra special about me, is that so much to ask? I'm tired of this body, of this brain, of these defects.
....
Hmm, I think I've blabbered on rather long enough for now. I'm going to go watch a movie with my Davey <3 in it, he always makes me feel better when nothing else does...