Jan 04, 2007 04:38
I just finished writing a letter to Sammy, explaining to him my current beliefs and way of life. I'm very scared that he won't be accepting and I'll have to give it up. I would be very upset and I don't know what I would do if I had to give up MS. Ever since I began learning about it, I've felt a chnge within myself, a kind of awakening for lack of a better term.
I'm pretty tired and I'm sooo hot because of this laptop heating up my legs. I'm sweating!! Alright that was a little gross..
Also, Tom was definitely tipsy and coming on to me. I warned him that if Sammy found out that Tom would be dead meat but he didn't seem to mind. I just kind of felt bad because Tom is very attracted to me and I really cannot return that attraction. I'm so very in love with Sammy and I wouldn't give him up for the world.
I felt bad but Tom was making me feel pretty good about myself by telling me that I'm a "fox". I love that term. It's absolutely hip-hoppin. It's such a great word when not talking about the animal.
I miss Sammy so much. I miss kissing him and touching him and just having him hold me while we lay in my bed and nap. I miss him so much it hurts, I hope he'll be able to come visit me once he gets to MOS school. Apparently, according to him, he won't be going back home from training until April 21st. That's really sad, because that means I won't be able to be with him up in Jersey until May or after that...and that's saying that my mom allows me to go up to Jersey for the summer which I'm still really not sure of..I don't know what I'll do if I'm stuck HERE all summer...
I can barely handle this holiday break let alone an entire summer of being in my god-forsaken room.
Alright, my head hurts and I'm still sweaty. Goodnight all, or Goodmorning rather<33