[Selfish Stories] Only What Is Freely Offered
Chessy asked me to write something about being a Bliss Stage Authority Figure. (Icon related).
So I thought about it, and here's what I wrote.
Write something in the Bliss Stage... universe is too strong; symbol set and situation?... about being the Authority, the last waking adult in the world, leading children and teenagers to war against literal Nightmares with love as their weapon. Then ask me to write a story, about whatever you want, and I will reciprocate.
Only What Is Freely Offered
Fandom: Bliss Stage
Pairings: LOLWHUT. Original characters, you wouldn't care.
Tags: Sex, Dreams, Mania
Warnings: Depicts mania and implies a sexual relationship between me, at 24, and and someone else, at 17. Iffn ya'll care. That person exists. I don't think she'd mind being in this, but... names changed to protect the Innocent Sweetheart.
I am so freaking tired, but that's... a good thing right now. God help me if I ever get depressive without ready access to caffeine; can't sleep, Nightmares will eat me. You know. But the way I stay awake is... no fun for anyone while it lasts. Except for me, until I come down.
Susan lies in my bed, awake, staring at the ceiling. Oh, Christ. (...why Christ? I'm a Buddhist. Years of cultural training in the United States?? ...I am thinking in tangents, but not as rapidly. Good. Back to the subject of Susan, and... what I might have done.) She doesn't look physically hurt... what did I do while I was lost? Please God, please Kannon, please anyone else that will listen, please say I didn't hurt her.
Out loud, I just say, in a subdued voice, "Suuchan? I... I think I'm coming down..."
She sighs relief. "That's good..."
"Is there anyone else here?" I ask, by way of trying not to bring up what I might have done.
"No," she says. "Just you and me. ...milove," she adds, as a sigh.
I let that hang there, my mind screaming many things to say, bringing many nightmare scenarios of hurting her or... taking... her or even just freaking her the fuck out with manic "insights."
Then I just sigh and ask, "Did I... hurt you...? In any way?"
She shakes her head.
I want to cry. "Please, if I hurt you, if I scared you... please, tell me. I was... not there, I don't... I never remember much when I fall."
"You scared me," she says, carefully, "but you didn't hurt me."
"Oh, god..." I sit up and draw myself into a ball.
...Shit. I'm naked.
So is Susan.
SHIT. "I didn't... I... If I was myself I would never -"
She cut me off with a chuckle. " - You only took what I freely offered." This in her usual, amused, flirtatious lilt. "I can do that, you know. I'm 17. You're robbing the grave here, not the cradle."
I exhale, let myself unclench my muscles, and let my hand rest on hers. She takes it up. "If... it wasn't a rape... how did I scare you?"
She looks me in the eyes, sighs, and said, "...you told me what you would do before you Blissed. You were rather... creative... about what you would do before you'd 'let yourself fall into enemy hands.'"
I want to cry, again, but not out of sadness. "That wasn't me talking," I said. "You know that."
"No," she said. "But..." she rolled over, onto me.
I held her tighter, one hand on her hip, one over her heart, her breath on my neck, her hair tickling my cheek.
"But?"
"I love you," she sighed. "I don't want to THINK about you Blissing or... otherwise."
"I'm not going to give those bastards the satisfaction," I said. "Not if I can help it."
She nodded and kissed me. "I know. But I worry that you might... stop talking about it the next time you go off the deep end."
"That's why you're my anchor, Suuchan," I say.
"Um." She looked at me, opened her mouth, closed it, then said, "I'm a Pilot. Marylin is my Anchor. Are you SURE you've come down?"
"Small 'a,' Suuchan," I say. "When I go off the deep end..."
"Oh." She thinks about it, grins fangs, then licks my ear. I shudder and gasp. "I am your armor," she whispers.
"Yes you are," I say, cupping her breasts. "And I love you too."
So I thought about it, and here's what I wrote.
Write something in the Bliss Stage... universe is too strong; symbol set and situation?... about being the Authority, the last waking adult in the world, leading children and teenagers to war against literal Nightmares with love as their weapon. Then ask me to write a story, about whatever you want, and I will reciprocate.
Only What Is Freely Offered
Fandom: Bliss Stage
Pairings: LOLWHUT. Original characters, you wouldn't care.
Tags: Sex, Dreams, Mania
Warnings: Depicts mania and implies a sexual relationship between me, at 24, and and someone else, at 17. Iffn ya'll care. That person exists. I don't think she'd mind being in this, but... names changed to protect the Innocent Sweetheart.
I am so freaking tired, but that's... a good thing right now. God help me if I ever get depressive without ready access to caffeine; can't sleep, Nightmares will eat me. You know. But the way I stay awake is... no fun for anyone while it lasts. Except for me, until I come down.
Susan lies in my bed, awake, staring at the ceiling. Oh, Christ. (...why Christ? I'm a Buddhist. Years of cultural training in the United States?? ...I am thinking in tangents, but not as rapidly. Good. Back to the subject of Susan, and... what I might have done.) She doesn't look physically hurt... what did I do while I was lost? Please God, please Kannon, please anyone else that will listen, please say I didn't hurt her.
Out loud, I just say, in a subdued voice, "Suuchan? I... I think I'm coming down..."
She sighs relief. "That's good..."
"Is there anyone else here?" I ask, by way of trying not to bring up what I might have done.
"No," she says. "Just you and me. ...milove," she adds, as a sigh.
I let that hang there, my mind screaming many things to say, bringing many nightmare scenarios of hurting her or... taking... her or even just freaking her the fuck out with manic "insights."
Then I just sigh and ask, "Did I... hurt you...? In any way?"
She shakes her head.
I want to cry. "Please, if I hurt you, if I scared you... please, tell me. I was... not there, I don't... I never remember much when I fall."
"You scared me," she says, carefully, "but you didn't hurt me."
"Oh, god..." I sit up and draw myself into a ball.
...Shit. I'm naked.
So is Susan.
SHIT. "I didn't... I... If I was myself I would never -"
She cut me off with a chuckle. " - You only took what I freely offered." This in her usual, amused, flirtatious lilt. "I can do that, you know. I'm 17. You're robbing the grave here, not the cradle."
I exhale, let myself unclench my muscles, and let my hand rest on hers. She takes it up. "If... it wasn't a rape... how did I scare you?"
She looks me in the eyes, sighs, and said, "...you told me what you would do before you Blissed. You were rather... creative... about what you would do before you'd 'let yourself fall into enemy hands.'"
I want to cry, again, but not out of sadness. "That wasn't me talking," I said. "You know that."
"No," she said. "But..." she rolled over, onto me.
I held her tighter, one hand on her hip, one over her heart, her breath on my neck, her hair tickling my cheek.
"But?"
"I love you," she sighed. "I don't want to THINK about you Blissing or... otherwise."
"I'm not going to give those bastards the satisfaction," I said. "Not if I can help it."
She nodded and kissed me. "I know. But I worry that you might... stop talking about it the next time you go off the deep end."
"That's why you're my anchor, Suuchan," I say.
"Um." She looked at me, opened her mouth, closed it, then said, "I'm a Pilot. Marylin is my Anchor. Are you SURE you've come down?"
"Small 'a,' Suuchan," I say. "When I go off the deep end..."
"Oh." She thinks about it, grins fangs, then licks my ear. I shudder and gasp. "I am your armor," she whispers.
"Yes you are," I say, cupping her breasts. "And I love you too."