Things that Mr. Heinz is no longer allowed to do while playing Indie RPGs.
Inspired by the thread on Mr. Welch.
Crossposted to Story Games.
1: I am no longer allowed to use "Hey, baby, wanna upgrade my mech?" as a pick-up line in Bliss Stage.
2: I am not allowed to play the following characters in Bliss Stage: Kamina, Simon the Digger, Yoko, Gai Daigoji, or any character from Gundam Wing.
3: My ANIMa's primary weapon is not the Shining Finger.
4: Especially if the Shining Finger is a manifestion of my hatred for the Authority Figure.
5: ...And is delivered with the middle finger.
6: Dogs in the Vineyard is not an appropriate system for running a Sailor Moon game.
7: Neither is Bliss Stage.
8: I am not to describe Dogs in the Vineyard as "The Mighty Mormon Power Rangers" to any potential recruits.
9: I am never again to have the Authority Figure in a Bliss Stage game scream, "RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!"
10: Just because he has less than 5 Intimacy with his Anchor does not mean that Keenan Caine got her pregnant by kissing her.
11: "Fribblefrabble" is not currently part of GNS jargon, and I am no longer allowed to imply that it is.
12: When the Mountian Folk woman tries to seduce me when I am pumping her for info, I am not allowed to fold and describe hot sex with her.
13: When the Mountian Folk woman tries to seduce me when I am pumping her for info, I am not allowed to raise with a description of hot sex with her.
14: On a related note, I am no longer permitted to get my Coat's dice during a conflict by removing my Coat.
15: Bliss Stage is not an appropriate system for running a Paranoia game.
16: Neither is Dogs in the Vineyard.
17: I am no longer allowed to have FATE aspects inspired by Kobolds Ate My Baby, including but not limited to Tastes Like Chicken, In Heat, and ALL HAIL KING TORG!!!
18: I am allowed to refer to a sexual relationship as being at "Intimacy 5." My Bliss Stage character is no longer allowed to refer to a sexual relationship as being at "Intimacy 5."
19: 4chan Memes cannot be in any way involved with all future games of Shock: Social Science Fiction that I participate in.
20: My Spirit of the Century character cannot be the Spirit of Cheese, nor of Big Pimpin'.
Courtesy of Joepub on Story Games:
21. I am no longer allowed to gesture in any way when I say the words "bring down the pain".
22. I am no longer allowed to list "my genitals" as a Shock.
23. ...or an Issue.
24. ...or Minutiae.
25. "Ray gun manufacturing" is not appropriate side work for a boxer.
26. "Contenders made me do it" will not help me get out of trouble with the law.
27. "Rowdy sex with your mom" is NOT an appropriate Stamina descriptor for Sorcerer.
28. ...neither is "Rowdy sex with your dad".
29. I am not allowed to write "By the horns PO+3" on my Beast Hunters character ever again.
30. Tissues do not resolve Issues.
Courtesy of Deliverator:
31. Not allowed to demand that the government play an 8 before torturing prisoners at Guantanamo.
(I eventually houseruled that everyone is allowed to do this.)
Courtesy of Brendan:
32. "Fuckin'" is not a valid Trait.
33. My Coat is not embroidered with "Fuckin'" across the shoulders.
34. I am no longer allowed to escalate to "Fuckin'."
35. Or get d12s from my Trait and Coat for doing so.
36. I am no longer allowed to name my PCs from page 263 of the Story Games Names Project.
37. Being named "Bicarbonate of Soda" does not give me Resist 5 Acid.
38. I am no longer allowed to insist that any player who decides to "Roach up" actually insert a rubber cockroach into one of their orifices.
39. I am definitely not allowed to insert it for them.
40. When attempting to run Cheap, I am required to inform all players beforehand that I don't know the rules either.
41. In Nobilis, I am no longer allowed to play the Power of Fuckin'.
Courtesy of Ben Lehman:
42. I am not allowed to set "I know the meaning of life" as stakes.
Also, at least two people agree with me when I say Dogs is good for magical girl games.
...On a related note, I beleive I've introduced the concept of "Fribblefrabble" to the theory. ...oh dear god, what kind of memetic monster have I created!?
Eh, can't be worse than desudesudesudesudesudesudesudesu...(repeat 10^10000 times, interspersed with Combo Breaks and Gaston).
Crossposted to Story Games.
1: I am no longer allowed to use "Hey, baby, wanna upgrade my mech?" as a pick-up line in Bliss Stage.
2: I am not allowed to play the following characters in Bliss Stage: Kamina, Simon the Digger, Yoko, Gai Daigoji, or any character from Gundam Wing.
3: My ANIMa's primary weapon is not the Shining Finger.
4: Especially if the Shining Finger is a manifestion of my hatred for the Authority Figure.
5: ...And is delivered with the middle finger.
6: Dogs in the Vineyard is not an appropriate system for running a Sailor Moon game.
7: Neither is Bliss Stage.
8: I am not to describe Dogs in the Vineyard as "The Mighty Mormon Power Rangers" to any potential recruits.
9: I am never again to have the Authority Figure in a Bliss Stage game scream, "RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!"
10: Just because he has less than 5 Intimacy with his Anchor does not mean that Keenan Caine got her pregnant by kissing her.
11: "Fribblefrabble" is not currently part of GNS jargon, and I am no longer allowed to imply that it is.
12: When the Mountian Folk woman tries to seduce me when I am pumping her for info, I am not allowed to fold and describe hot sex with her.
13: When the Mountian Folk woman tries to seduce me when I am pumping her for info, I am not allowed to raise with a description of hot sex with her.
14: On a related note, I am no longer permitted to get my Coat's dice during a conflict by removing my Coat.
15: Bliss Stage is not an appropriate system for running a Paranoia game.
16: Neither is Dogs in the Vineyard.
17: I am no longer allowed to have FATE aspects inspired by Kobolds Ate My Baby, including but not limited to Tastes Like Chicken, In Heat, and ALL HAIL KING TORG!!!
18: I am allowed to refer to a sexual relationship as being at "Intimacy 5." My Bliss Stage character is no longer allowed to refer to a sexual relationship as being at "Intimacy 5."
19: 4chan Memes cannot be in any way involved with all future games of Shock: Social Science Fiction that I participate in.
20: My Spirit of the Century character cannot be the Spirit of Cheese, nor of Big Pimpin'.
Courtesy of Joepub on Story Games:
21. I am no longer allowed to gesture in any way when I say the words "bring down the pain".
22. I am no longer allowed to list "my genitals" as a Shock.
23. ...or an Issue.
24. ...or Minutiae.
25. "Ray gun manufacturing" is not appropriate side work for a boxer.
26. "Contenders made me do it" will not help me get out of trouble with the law.
27. "Rowdy sex with your mom" is NOT an appropriate Stamina descriptor for Sorcerer.
28. ...neither is "Rowdy sex with your dad".
29. I am not allowed to write "By the horns PO+3" on my Beast Hunters character ever again.
30. Tissues do not resolve Issues.
Courtesy of Deliverator:
31. Not allowed to demand that the government play an 8 before torturing prisoners at Guantanamo.
(I eventually houseruled that everyone is allowed to do this.)
Courtesy of Brendan:
32. "Fuckin'" is not a valid Trait.
33. My Coat is not embroidered with "Fuckin'" across the shoulders.
34. I am no longer allowed to escalate to "Fuckin'."
35. Or get d12s from my Trait and Coat for doing so.
36. I am no longer allowed to name my PCs from page 263 of the Story Games Names Project.
37. Being named "Bicarbonate of Soda" does not give me Resist 5 Acid.
38. I am no longer allowed to insist that any player who decides to "Roach up" actually insert a rubber cockroach into one of their orifices.
39. I am definitely not allowed to insert it for them.
40. When attempting to run Cheap, I am required to inform all players beforehand that I don't know the rules either.
41. In Nobilis, I am no longer allowed to play the Power of Fuckin'.
Courtesy of Ben Lehman:
42. I am not allowed to set "I know the meaning of life" as stakes.
Also, at least two people agree with me when I say Dogs is good for magical girl games.
...On a related note, I beleive I've introduced the concept of "Fribblefrabble" to the theory. ...oh dear god, what kind of memetic monster have I created!?
Eh, can't be worse than desudesudesudesudesudesudesudesu...(repeat 10^10000 times, interspersed with Combo Breaks and Gaston).