Dream Fragments
Walking through the gardens, shadows gather around, deepening as the twilight moves towards a true night. Sounds of day have long faded and the beings of night now roam, chirping and singing beneath the lone light of a waxing moon. I continue along the path, noticing the long billowing skirts of my attire, the black dress with lace and gloves. My hair feels heavy piled on my head in curls though I know outside the realm it’s not this long, nor would I be able to move as gracefully beneath the weight of so much fabric and cinched in so tight a corset. The gardens are lovely during the day, but at night it seems more alive somehow with the lights of fireflies and moon streaming about. It takes time for me to notice I do not walk alone, but ever faithfully by my side walks one whose feet no longer tread this realm as it once did. Death made flesh, de toute beauté mort, walked along with me, out arms intertwined formally. At night my skin sometimes seems to glow with a small bit of light, but his did so without a sliver of light from any known source. "I still wait and shall continue," barely whispered into the slight breeze, but still the same song and dance. "I still cannot, more so than when you first offered", I answer, thinking of my kids and those few I love and hold close. How would they feel if I decided to walk into the darkness and leave behind this flesh? He nods knowingly, and kisses my hand before pulling away. "I will always be here and won’t let you step alone when you do leave behind life." He starts to move away but I reach out and touch his arm, a bare brush of my fingertips but he still instantly, alert to my words. I lick my lips, trying to not let the moisture that builds in my eyes tear over. "No matter how long, please don’t leave me to wonder the darkness alone should I fall to it, please...."
Awareness returns in snatches, stolen moments when I hear and see bits of fragments of the days that have passed, trying to remember....Why am I here? Who? Where? What??? These thoughts pass in and out my conscious as I draw closer to the noise of machines and feelings, feelings of pain I shy from and the ever annoying buzzing of voices just outside my range of hearing. I wake up and remember bits of something forgotten, like an accident and the screaming as metal hits metal and some feeling of spinning before the pain sent me to blessed darkness. I have kids, but they weren’t with me I think, so they are alright...was I alone though? And who the hell is arguing, wait, someone is arguing in my room, next to a monitor hooked to me...and the sons of bitches are doing it quietly, but still arguing over my freaking hospital bed. Opening one eye then the other *thankful I can see, sort of...* I can just make out three figures. The short one is my sister and she’s in the middle of two males arguing. It’s all in whispers now, but I know it was much louder earlier otherwise she would not be in the middle hissing and spitting at them. Now who the hell is arguing....*tries to focus*.....motherfuckers....One of the figures looks towards the bed, perhaps I actually said that out loud and motions to me, but then is drawn back into more hushed argument. Having enough, I begin to move, hand going for the pole with an IV bag on it. If I can reach it, then I can maybe knocked some sense into them...
"Are you sure you’ll be fine here waiting alone?" I’m already settling myself into place, keeping my walking stick nearby and wishing he wouldn’t worry so. "It’s a public place, I have my coffee and the phone is in my pocket with your number on speed dial. I won’t move from here without telling you and he’ll make sure I’m fine if we do leave." I can’t see his headshake, but the rustle of cloth and knowing him as I do tells me he does as he draws in a breathe to argue more, I hold up my hand. "Please, just let me have this bit of time....and fantasy. It’s been so long that I’ve been out in public alone for any period of time since all this...I’m not use to having to have someone all the time around and ...give me this bit. I will call and it’ll be alright, so no worries, please?" He leans down and kisses me softly. "Alright then, I’ll stay outside til he comes, then I’ll leave." Listen to the footfalls as they fade and sit, absorbing the sounds and smells. Has it been so long since I’ve been out like this? And how long since a meeting of this sort? No idea of the time that passes as I reveal in what little bit of time I have alone, if one is truly alone in a cafe, and luxury of just blending in for a bit...then I hear steps that seem familiar, but not sure. They stop at my table as I’m drinking my coffee, trying to not to look up too soon and miss where I should be staring until I hear something to confirm. "Mari?" I place my coffee down and stare up to where he should be, but I’m sure like most of my kind, I stare probably off to one side of him instead of dead on. "Time has passed a bit," I say, moving the stick off to one side a bit then looking up in the general direction. "I wish I could actually see you though..."
Laying on my stomach, slightly drowsing. I can feel the bed move slightly but in my current state of not quite so awake, I don’t’ react. Heat from another body brushes over my back before I feel hands rubbing and running up my spine and over the shoulders. My hair moved to one side then lips replace the hands with gentle kisses starting at the top of my neck, and running down my back. The hands are still on me, but it’s the kisses that bring me from sleep, body stretching and arching slightly up, wanting more. I sleep nude so when the covers are pulled down the air is cool on my skin, but warm hands glide over the curve of my ass. Light nipping follows the kisses and I can feel his touch go bolder at my indrawn breaths, the arches of my body and small sighings. He lays down over me, body curving against mine as he starts to kiss then bite down on my shoulder, leaving me clawing at the covers, opening my eyes briefly with a gasp....
Awareness returns in snatches, stolen moments when I hear and see bits of fragments of the days that have passed, trying to remember....Why am I here? Who? Where? What??? These thoughts pass in and out my conscious as I draw closer to the noise of machines and feelings, feelings of pain I shy from and the ever annoying buzzing of voices just outside my range of hearing. I wake up and remember bits of something forgotten, like an accident and the screaming as metal hits metal and some feeling of spinning before the pain sent me to blessed darkness. I have kids, but they weren’t with me I think, so they are alright...was I alone though? And who the hell is arguing, wait, someone is arguing in my room, next to a monitor hooked to me...and the sons of bitches are doing it quietly, but still arguing over my freaking hospital bed. Opening one eye then the other *thankful I can see, sort of...* I can just make out three figures. The short one is my sister and she’s in the middle of two males arguing. It’s all in whispers now, but I know it was much louder earlier otherwise she would not be in the middle hissing and spitting at them. Now who the hell is arguing....*tries to focus*.....motherfuckers....One of the figures looks towards the bed, perhaps I actually said that out loud and motions to me, but then is drawn back into more hushed argument. Having enough, I begin to move, hand going for the pole with an IV bag on it. If I can reach it, then I can maybe knocked some sense into them...
"Are you sure you’ll be fine here waiting alone?" I’m already settling myself into place, keeping my walking stick nearby and wishing he wouldn’t worry so. "It’s a public place, I have my coffee and the phone is in my pocket with your number on speed dial. I won’t move from here without telling you and he’ll make sure I’m fine if we do leave." I can’t see his headshake, but the rustle of cloth and knowing him as I do tells me he does as he draws in a breathe to argue more, I hold up my hand. "Please, just let me have this bit of time....and fantasy. It’s been so long that I’ve been out in public alone for any period of time since all this...I’m not use to having to have someone all the time around and ...give me this bit. I will call and it’ll be alright, so no worries, please?" He leans down and kisses me softly. "Alright then, I’ll stay outside til he comes, then I’ll leave." Listen to the footfalls as they fade and sit, absorbing the sounds and smells. Has it been so long since I’ve been out like this? And how long since a meeting of this sort? No idea of the time that passes as I reveal in what little bit of time I have alone, if one is truly alone in a cafe, and luxury of just blending in for a bit...then I hear steps that seem familiar, but not sure. They stop at my table as I’m drinking my coffee, trying to not to look up too soon and miss where I should be staring until I hear something to confirm. "Mari?" I place my coffee down and stare up to where he should be, but I’m sure like most of my kind, I stare probably off to one side of him instead of dead on. "Time has passed a bit," I say, moving the stick off to one side a bit then looking up in the general direction. "I wish I could actually see you though..."
Laying on my stomach, slightly drowsing. I can feel the bed move slightly but in my current state of not quite so awake, I don’t’ react. Heat from another body brushes over my back before I feel hands rubbing and running up my spine and over the shoulders. My hair moved to one side then lips replace the hands with gentle kisses starting at the top of my neck, and running down my back. The hands are still on me, but it’s the kisses that bring me from sleep, body stretching and arching slightly up, wanting more. I sleep nude so when the covers are pulled down the air is cool on my skin, but warm hands glide over the curve of my ass. Light nipping follows the kisses and I can feel his touch go bolder at my indrawn breaths, the arches of my body and small sighings. He lays down over me, body curving against mine as he starts to kiss then bite down on my shoulder, leaving me clawing at the covers, opening my eyes briefly with a gasp....