Important .. Read, please <33
: Posting this Public because I want some people to read it that aren't in my Friends.
I admit.. I do tend to be bitchy, but I do have reasons. I do admit that I sometimes need attention, only because I give everyone so much attention. I want to change your life. I want to be beautiful, not just in the outside, but most importantly in the inside. I want people to see me && see that I really am sweet && interesting to talk to. I want people to mention my name with a smile on their face && say amazing, but believable, things about me. I need to be loved by my friends. I need you to hear me. I need someone that will listen to everything I say, try to understand, && actually say something back. I need my mother, my father, my sisters, && my brothers, but mostly I need a whole family. I long for special treatment, a pretty face, && an irresistible laugh. I need things. It's pathetic, I know : that THiS is what makes me happy. But I must admit that I need it, to be Me. I want the whole world to say "yeah, she's amazing. If you only knew her, you would smile". && As pathetic as all this seems, I try to be these things because that's what I like, && I admit to say them to you, because I want everyone to see who I really am. * && Maybe, just maybe, for once; I will come back to my computer, see the away window, && see i.m's for me. To see that people do actually care for what I have to say. && That's all I need, to know that people care about me, to feel loved, because everyday I have troubles loving myself. && It's not my fault or yours, it's just how things are. But I just want you to know how I feel. && As everyone is asleep, or out, this Saturday at midnight I am writing this, to let it out, to feel better, && posting it because I have hope && frankly that's all I have. I may act as a hard bitch that doesn't care about anyone, but herself ; but truth is, I care, I'm independent, unique, && might have a strong character, but I do have a heart : a huge, warm heart. && I want to say that I love every single one of you && appreciate the ones who have taken the time to read this. && I'm sorry if I hurt you in some way, I promise I'll try not to be mean anymore. I'm posting this because it IS important to me. Thank you to those who have listened && have tried to understand. I hope things will change && all of you will love me again. I really don't mean to be cruel, it's just a deffensive mechanism ; I do need things, && one is love. Not the love from a boyfriend, because I have Juan && he's perfect, but love from friends, from oneself. So please, change things for me, help me feel good. Let me know how you really feel, because now it's my turn to listen. Comment if you want, I'll listen. Love you, Ciaosito
* && That's how I really feel. *
<3 Truly,
Kat