I need something to live for
I have come upon a few more revelations concerning my life. Now that I've given you that teaser, here's what I've been up to recently. (Or you can just skip it if you want)
Swimming's been awesome. hanging with the friends getting a work out, bewing in the water. The only two problems are 1)That my suits (combined) are bordering on partial transparancy, 2) Having to get up early in the morning. but really it's a good way to wake up. Jump in the water and swim 1-2 miles before relaxing in the hot tub for 20 minutes (all the while chatting it up with my firends). The first meet is tommorrow (friday) night at madison pool from 6-8 (for those -1 of you who actually want to come to the meet). I'm pretty stoked. I haven't raced since state in february. We should crush madison. Also, I am a russian soldier in taproot's musical camp(doing fiddler) the director called nick and I up needing a few extra bodies. We have about 1 minute of stage time, but what the heck it's theatre, It's fun. Other than that the only thing I have going is work, which is only about 16 hours a week. So I have lots of free time that I need to fill. CALL ME. I tend to make most (not all) plans last minute, so if you call be by noon I will almost certainly be fre and will be completely overjoyed that you have spared me from hours of mind numbing boredrom that I will rush over to your house and immediately raid your fridge and make your life much more enjoyable (i would hope). Or maybe I'll call you (which may not be likely I have a bit of a thing against calling people)
OK...now that my life has been summerized, it is time for my current revelations about life.
1) I never realized how much I love helping people. It sounds kinda funny, but it's true. Without high school to completely fuck up our lives, people have less problems. Thus they need less advice or help. thus they don't ask friends for advice or help as much as during the school year. During the past two months I have helped one person with one problem. My life is such that it seems very empty and without purpose. I now realize how important helping people is to me. It has been the one thing that has given me direction in life. Without it, i'm kinda stuck without a path. When I was helping people with whatever problem they had I was useful and worth something. Now I feel like a paperweight without papers. just heavy and taking up space. Helping people may not completely make me whole, but at least it helps a bit. So this may sound kinda strange (or not) but if you have a problem don't hesitate to ask me. Plus helping is what friends do.
2) As much as helping others does give me a purpose, I realize it's not enough. It is just a glass of water in a bucket the size of the oceans. I need something more in life. Whether that be a relationship (which is the most vacant part of my life), or the drive to write music (which has seemed to be weakening lately), or just a LOT of chance to help my friends, or some other thing, I need more purpose. I hate just sitting in this world taking up space. I need someone or something to live for.
Swimming's been awesome. hanging with the friends getting a work out, bewing in the water. The only two problems are 1)That my suits (combined) are bordering on partial transparancy, 2) Having to get up early in the morning. but really it's a good way to wake up. Jump in the water and swim 1-2 miles before relaxing in the hot tub for 20 minutes (all the while chatting it up with my firends). The first meet is tommorrow (friday) night at madison pool from 6-8 (for those -1 of you who actually want to come to the meet). I'm pretty stoked. I haven't raced since state in february. We should crush madison. Also, I am a russian soldier in taproot's musical camp(doing fiddler) the director called nick and I up needing a few extra bodies. We have about 1 minute of stage time, but what the heck it's theatre, It's fun. Other than that the only thing I have going is work, which is only about 16 hours a week. So I have lots of free time that I need to fill. CALL ME. I tend to make most (not all) plans last minute, so if you call be by noon I will almost certainly be fre and will be completely overjoyed that you have spared me from hours of mind numbing boredrom that I will rush over to your house and immediately raid your fridge and make your life much more enjoyable (i would hope). Or maybe I'll call you (which may not be likely I have a bit of a thing against calling people)
OK...now that my life has been summerized, it is time for my current revelations about life.
1) I never realized how much I love helping people. It sounds kinda funny, but it's true. Without high school to completely fuck up our lives, people have less problems. Thus they need less advice or help. thus they don't ask friends for advice or help as much as during the school year. During the past two months I have helped one person with one problem. My life is such that it seems very empty and without purpose. I now realize how important helping people is to me. It has been the one thing that has given me direction in life. Without it, i'm kinda stuck without a path. When I was helping people with whatever problem they had I was useful and worth something. Now I feel like a paperweight without papers. just heavy and taking up space. Helping people may not completely make me whole, but at least it helps a bit. So this may sound kinda strange (or not) but if you have a problem don't hesitate to ask me. Plus helping is what friends do.
2) As much as helping others does give me a purpose, I realize it's not enough. It is just a glass of water in a bucket the size of the oceans. I need something more in life. Whether that be a relationship (which is the most vacant part of my life), or the drive to write music (which has seemed to be weakening lately), or just a LOT of chance to help my friends, or some other thing, I need more purpose. I hate just sitting in this world taking up space. I need someone or something to live for.