Because I am really, really bored.
This is essentially a very, very delayed birthday fic I started for serenasnape. I was reminded of its existence yesterday, and to salve my project-addled brains I tidied it up a bit.
The request was Richard and Avon. I don't think she asked for Richard/Avon, and alas, I did not write it :P
Because this is me, if I ever get bored enough to write more crack!chapters, this will have several.
Yes, I also wanted to see if I could make a slighlty insane crossover work at all.
Title: Crossing Over: A Sue's Story AU.
Fandoms: Harry Potter (A Sue's Story cast) / Blakes7
Warnings: Er... pyrotechnics?
Chapter 1: Somewhere over the plothole.
"Richard! Get back here!"
The yell failed in its desired effect - although did succeed impressively well in attracting the surprised attention of every other diner in the restaurant, as the angry woman leapt to her feet and hollered. The regular clientele of Gerádes were unused to highly vocal redheads yelling over their heads, and the air of surprise was palpable. None of this made any difference to the path of the door as it swung shut, behind the disappearing dark figure that seemed to be focus of the woman's annoyance. She gave a low snarl of frustration, tossed a few notes onto the table and snatched up her coat, pulling it on as she hurried towards the door with an apologetic nod to the nearby waiter. The door swung smoothly shut behind her, and the diners of Gerádes went back to their meals, shaking their heads. Public domestics were so embarrassing.
Jackie pulled her coat tight around her against the chill air, her boots clicking on the wet pavement as she ran after Richard's vanishing form. He was doing his blending-into-the shadows thing again, and most people would quickly have lost the dark figure as he slid into the night. She was not about to be lost that easily; she needed to yell at him first.
"Wait up," she muttered and increased her pace, until she finally drew level with the striding man, and clamped a hand on his arm, dragging him round so she could glare at him. "What the hell d'you think you're going? The starters weren't that bad."
Brown eyes gleamed in the dim light as Richard shook off her hand and nodded into the shadows across the street.
"I felt something."
Jackie let out an irritated sigh.
"Richard, I brought you out for a meal precisely so you'd forget about being on duty. Just for a few hours! The whole system won't collapse if you're not swooping around it like an overgrown crow. If there's anything going on, the five teams back at the Terrace will handle it."
Richard held her stare for a moment, and then the ghost of a smile reached his lips.
"You worry about me too much."
"Someone has to." Jackie returned the smile and shivered. "You need to wind down occasionally, y'know. I have reports you were actually seen attempting coffee earlier this week, and if that's not a sign of impending collapse, I don't know what is." She caught his arm again. "C'mon, they might still let us back in."
Richard looked down at her arm.
"Maybe you're right," he said, rubbing his forehead, "maybe I could use a break. But I can't just leave it." He turned and strode off again, leaving Jackie huddled in her coat. She glared at his retreating back, shivered and stamped round in a chilly circle for a second, watching her breath condense in the air. Then she hurried after him, swearing mistily into the night.
By the time she caught up, they were moving down a tree-lined path leading through the centre of a small piece of parkland, hemmed in by houses on either side, and lit only by a few weak Muggle streetlamps. Jackie hunched herself up, contriving to radiate as much annoyance as possible without speaking. Richard, for his part, ignored her, his attention fixed on something inside his head. After a few minutes of walking, and as the grass was returning to concrete via an intermediate stage of scuffed carpark, Richard swung out an arm and caught Jackie, pressing a finger to his lips as he did so. Silently, they moved over into the cover of a nearby Volvo and crouched behind it, looking out over the silent carpark.
At least, Richard was. Jackie leant back against the car and folded her arms.
"There's nothing here. False alarm. Come on, there's a fairly decent pub two roads down, we can at least get a dr-"
"Sssh!" Richard held up a hand, his eyes narrowing, and Jackie stopped. Caution overriding her irritation, she carefully eased herself around until she was peering out over the bonnet. There was a figure there, emerging from the darkness on the opposite side of the carpark with a strange gait. Yellow light glittered, and beside her Jackie felt Richard tense up as the figure came closer, edging into a patch of brighter light…
Then Jackie burst out laughing as the tramp lurched into view, swinging a glass bottle that caught the amber beam of the streetlamp. The man looked up, startled, and turned, muttering as he lurched back into the shadows. Jackie pressed down the rest of her sniggers, as Richard very distinctly didn't look at her.
"Well, either your senses are a bit off right not, or we are facing a new and terrifying variety of Sues," Jackie couldn't get an edge of giggle out of her voice as she leaned over and patted Richard on the arm. "Hey, crack a smile. Look on the bright side - it's only me here. Luce'd be on you for weeks for this. But you see what I mean about overdoing it?"
Finally Richard conceded something that might have been a slight grin. He sighed and relaxed again, sliding his spork back into its holster.
"Alright. I could've sworn…" he trailed off at a warning glance from Jackie. "Fine. You win. I am at your disposal," he held out his hands to the sides, slightly theatrically. Jackie grinned and caught an arm, dragging it around hers.
"About time. Now, if I remember right, the Swan's got a damn fine selection on tap, even you'd be able to find something you'll drink." She manoeuvred him around and began marching back down the path. "Even light ale, if you feel so inclined…" She stopped, through little choice of her own. Richard had come to a dead halt, and was staring forwards intently.
"Speaking of light…" he said slowly "…does it seem like the streetlamps just got a lot brighter to you too?"
They turned.
The car park was still empty, but it was suddenly anything but dark. Light was condensing out of the air like mist, brightening as tiny motes of gold began to glitter above the worn concrete. Jackie felt the hair on her neck standing on end and took a step back, her hand going automatically to her waist, and she cursed internally as her fingers brushed her half-empty holster. She hadn't been expecting trouble of the spork-worthy kind. Still, a wand hardly left her defenceless.
Both Jackie and Richard drew their wands at the same time, him spinning his reflexively around his fingers.
"What're we dealing with here?" Jackie asked quietly as she moved aside, putting enough distance between herself and Richard for them to count as separate targets. He shook his head, and pressed the tip of a finger to his tight lips. Jackie took the order and fell silent, focusing instead on preparations. Her coat dropped to the ground behind her with a soft, leathery sound, and she quickly cast a few warming charms on her exposed arms. Going Muggle for the evening had meant she felt a lot more incognito, but needs must, of course, and she'd prefer to be warm as she tried to figure this one out.
Abruptly, as if reacting to their stares, the light-show changed. The tiny specks of gold whirled up as if caught by wind, rapidly forming into a tight, spinning ball. Jackie almost jumped as a small thunderclap rang out, and thin threads of lightning began crackling out from the ball, discharging themselves into the ground and raising puffs of dust at each impact. The frequency, and apparent strength of impacts increased, until suddenly eight bolts crackled free in all directions, tracing the points of an octagon in the air. And stopped. Jackie blinked, and glanced quickly at Richard to make sure she wasn't seeing things. The grim set of his jaw assured her that she wasn't, and she turned back.
Somehow, the strangest thing was the silence. No thunder, no electric crackle, not even a hint of Influence whispering. Silence. The strange thing just hung in the air, gold sphere shimmering gently, and its eight pieces of frozen gold looking for all the world as if there were glued to the backdrop. Richard gave a small nod to her and then crept forward, stalking cautiously around the edge of the car park, Jackie mirroring his movements on the other side. They met again and shared a perplexed eyebrow raise.
"Well, this is different."
Richard opened his mouth to reply, then stopped. Wordlessly, they both turned, both raising weapons defensively, as the world changed. Jackie barely had time to shield her eyes before the lightning flexed, the tips gripping impossibly at the air as the threads contracted, dragging the edges of the golden sphere up towards them. The air… no, the view around the advancing edge curled back like folding material, the warped space making Jackie's eyeballs ache just to look at it, and fresh brightness spilled across the cracked ground. It had to be light, but it didn't behave like it - visibly pouring out of the widening, gold-edged hole like something liquid and shedding bizarre shadows as it flowed forwards. The air thickened where it touched, the view distorted like through water -
And then the Influence began to rise. Richard gave a low snarl as the greasy whispering started and he straightened up, in the same moment as fog began pouring from the door-sized hole.
"Incarnation," he growled, although there was a faint edge of puzzlement to his voice, "but I've never…" He trailed off as the fog fountained upwards, the faint golden glow of eyes starting to open as the shape of the Sue began coalescing out of itself.
Jackie was never sure exactly why she reacted as she did next. Maybe it was something as simple as surprise, or perhaps the wine in Gerades had been a bit stronger than she'd been prepared for. Maybe not. Whatever the trigger, she found her gaze swing up to the top thread of frozen lightning, its tip hooked into the world like snagged fabric. Without thinking she swung her wand up and, jokingly, muttered the words of a disentangling charm.
She'd never expected it might work.
Accompanied by a very bizarre set of harmonics - which, somehow, still managed to have distinct overtones of 'ping' - the lightning lost its grip on the air and crackled back down its own path, the folded reality unfurling behind it as the stretched hole began to lose its shape. Jackie stared in amazement as the next two threads of lightning began to bow, the air stretching around their tips and the hole began to warp like a deflating balloon.
The Sue noticed what was happening in the same moment it noticed Richard advancing on it. There wasn't enough face yet to register an expression, but the slits of eyes did manage to narrow. Richard brought his spork up as the misty shape flew at him, ducking under a foggy arm as it swung at him, and lunged.
-ping-
-ping-
Jackie saw the movement first, but there wasn't even time to cry out as the next two bolts came loose and the whole area lurched, a shudder running through the ground, scattering bits of debris and knocking both humans off balance. This time though, the jagged threads didn't simply collapse, but swung out, leaving scored trails in the air behind them. One snagged onto a lump of broken concrete, convulsing for a moment before it crackled back into the shaking golden hole, dragging the lump behind it. The other snagged the Sue directly between the eyes. The Influence screamed as the bolt convulsed and foggy hands formed to scrabble at the thread, the Sue's eyes widening as it was dragged backwards, frantic tendrils sweeping the ground for purchase, to no avail.
Jackie scrambled back onto her feet and glanced round, seeing Richard pulling himself upright with a look of astonishment on his face. She hurried over and grabbed his arm, pulling him backwards.
"Leg it?" she muttered, but Richard shook her off and glared at her.
"What did you do?" he hissed. Jackie shrugged frantically.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time! Come on - "
-ping-
On the opposite side of the carpark, an ear-splitting alarm trill broke out as the battered Volvo was wrenched into the air and sucked into the hole, fitting through a space a third of its size with another moment of eye-watering uncertainty. Richard cursed and shoved Jackie back so hard she stumbled.
"Get back. Hopefully that thing'll close when it - "
-ping-
The next few moments seemed to be happening in slow motion. Jackie saw the fifth strand break loose and whip towards them too fast to dodge. She saw Richard's eyes widen, his lips parting in a wordless yell as his cloak swirled in front of her and his arm shot out, light flaring at the wand tip, and then her vision vanished into darkness. It took a few rapid heartbeats before she realised her face was full of cloak, and swept it aside. Well, they still seemed to be standing, which was a good sign.
"If your reflexes were any sharper you'd cut yourself with them," she muttered, and laid a hand on Richard's shoulder. "C'mon, let's get out of here before something really goes wrong."
"No," Richard muttered, his voice strained and quite clearly coming out past clenched teeth.
"What?" Jackie blinked and swung herself round so she could see her friend's face. "Now you want to stay…"
"I can't let go."
The lightning hadn't missed. Richard's arm was outstretched, his wand clamped in an iron grip, with the jagged gold streaming into the tip of the wood. Tiny traces of energy were crackling around his hand and advancing down his arm, which was starting to shake.
"Shit." Jackie brought her own wand up, but Richard shot a glare at her. He was very pale.
"No! Don't touch it."
"What, I'm supposed to leave you lassoed to a hole in reality?" she snapped. Richard shook his head, gritting his teeth. Sweat was beading across his forehead.
"Get my - " he grunted, as the smaller threads passed his elbow. " - spork. This sure as hell…isn't canon."
Jackie nodded and pulled his cloak back, searching the dark folds for his holster. How the hell did he ever find anything in here? It was like frisking a collapsed tent. After what seemed like an age, her fingers closed on cold metal and she yanked the spork loose. It glinted in the strange light as she brought it round.
"Alright, I -"
-ping-
The time, Jackie managed to duck as the bolt shot through the air where her head had been a moment before. Unfortunately, this brought her into contact with Richard's arm. Pain crackled up her arm as the traceries around his elbow flared and she yelped, her own arm convulsing, and the spork dropped from her fingertips.
-ping-
"Thank you, Narrative Causality," Richard growled as the seventh bolt snagged the spork expertly out of the air and sent the gleaming shape plunging back into the shuddering hole, which was a very odd shape now, and held up only by the last lightning thread, the air around its tip warped and straining. Richard gave another grunt as the energy surged further up his arm, dancing around his shoulder. He started to slide forwards, his feet dragging across the floor even as he tried to pull back. Out of other options, Jackie flung her arms around his waist and added her own strength to his resistance. It did little good and they continued inching forwards.
"Get back to… ugh, Merlin, I think my arm's about to come off ... Field," he said, his face contorted with effort. "You know where the sporks are."
"I'm not leaving you," Jackie snapped and tried to pull harder. "There's only one left." She stopped, a cold bit of realisation rising. The seventh bolt had taken the spork… but she hadn't seen the sixth one return yet…
She turned round. Her heart skipped a few more beats as she realised that not all of the background creaking noise was coming from the concrete Richard was bracing himself on.
"Tree," she muttered, urgently, "Tree!"
-ping-
The eighth bolt whizzed over her head, hitting home, and the big sycamore's roots finally tore loose, showering soil and surprised invertebrates as it rose into the air and ploughed towards them, smashing aside cars like toys as it did so.
Well, shit.
She couldn't have dodged, even if she'd wanted to.
On the other hand, she didn't have chance to worry about it. Richard's legs finally gave out and the bolt contracted violently, yanking both figures off their feet and towards the blazing hole, Jackie's arms still wrapped tightly around Richard's waist. Behind them the sycamore loomed, its trailing branches tearing up the ground, showering debris.
Then they plunged through the rip in the world, and the universe dissolved into brilliance, light, and the final echoes of Jackie swearing. The tree slammed in behind them, twisting strangely as it folded past the shrinking hole, which held for a moment as the last leaf was swallowed, before collapsing with a final thunderclap.
***
"Ouch."
Consciousness slowly filtered back into Jackie's mind, bringing with it a very confused set of images. There had been a tree, then flying, then something like a brilliant tunnel and a mass of… knotted string? No, that couldn't be right, surely…
By that point, enough of her had woken up for the realisation that she still seemed to be alive to dawn, and for various body parts to start demanding that she do something about it. She ached all over, but the directions of all the signals indicated that she still had all the limbs she'd started with, which was probably a good sign.
"Geg ovf mh fafhe."
Since that wasn't a normal sound for her stomach to be making, Jackie's eyes snapped open and she rolled aside before sitting up and looking round. Relief her hit as she focused on Richard glaring up at her, slightly squashed. She tried a small smile.
"You okay?"
"I'll live," he muttered, and began to examine his wand arm. "Where are we?"
"Dunno. I - "
"Ahem."
They both froze. The cough had been very pointed, and very behind them. The only thing in front of them was a wall of grey panels, none of which were particularly reflective, so they exchanged a glance before turning round.
There was a long moment of silence.
Well, I hadn't expected that.
They were lying in a square alcove, set to the side of a high, very white room. A curved table ran along the opposite wall, covered in dials, buttons and screens, with a large grey packing case perched on the end. Two archways lead off the main room, opening into equally white corridors that curved sharply away, but there didn't appear to be any windows. There was a group of four people, however, who were all watching them with various expressions of suspicion.
Jackie tried not to stare, but it was a bit tricky not to. It was certainly a mixed group. Three men - all armed with what looked remarkably like oversized white wands with bulky handgrips - and a woman, young, dark, and subjecting them to a very searching look. The closest man was tall and faintly athletic, his youngish face crowned with curls - and had a very measured curiosity in his eyes. His general air indicated some measure of leadership, and out of the corner of her eye Jackie could see Richard making the same appraisal. The other two men flanked him, contrasting each other impressively. One was pale, and stood a little back, an edge of nervousness overlaying his stance. As for the third man…
Richard's attention had reached him now, and Jackie almost thought she heard a clang as the two gazes locked. To any normal observer, neither man's expression moved, but Jackie noticed a tiny identical twitch, the same slight narrowing of the eyes reflected on both faces. He wasn't the largest of the group, and she'd already identified the apparent leader, but this one was the most controlled. His features were difficult to describe, and Jackie suspected that mood would dictate if they seemed handsome or demonic, but it was the eyes that drew her attention.
She knew that kind of stare.
This could be interesting.
He did appear to be wearing an outfit made of a dismembered red leather sofa, however, but considering Jackie's usual companions' default appearance, she wasn't going to criticise fashion sense this early. Plus, he was wielding the strange weapon with a distinct air of competence, so manners would probably be something to bear in mind.
Richard didn't seem to be about to say anything, so Jackie tried a slight smile, aimed at the apparent leader.
"Standing up won't be viewed as aggression, right? Because my leg is going to sleep."
The man looked hard at her for a moment, then nodded. Jackie flashed a proper smile, and jammed an elbow into Richard's side, finally breaking his staring contest. They stood up carefully, and the weapons remained trained on them. The leader nodded.
"Are you armed?"
"No," Jackie answered. The third man jerked his head towards the thin shape of Richard's wand, which was lying on the floor at the other end of the alcove.
"And that is?" His voice was very measured. Richard met the stare again, with just a hint of tightness about his lips.
"A magic wand," he said levelly.
"Indeed." The man didn't even blink, but his nervous companion gave Richard a quizzical glance. Muggles, then, Jackie noted. She looked back at the leader.
"Rather abrupt, I know, but can I ask who you are?"
There. Another puzzled look, and the leader regarded her again. Jackie returned the curiosity, trying to read something into his attitude. There was a hint of military, but nothing else she could determine.
"I could ask you the same thing." A lighter tone crept into his voice, but his weapon stayed steady.
"Ask away." Jackie smiled again, in what she hoped was a disarming kind of way. "I'm Jackie. Tall, dark, and sullen over there is Richard. Now you have me at a disadvantage, Mr…?"
He was apparently sharper than that, and answered with another question.
"How did you get onboard? You don't have teleport bracelets."
Teleport bracelets? Jackie didn't bother to keep the surprise off her face.
"Er… I'm not sure. There was a lot of light, and then we woke up here. Sorry, but that's the best I can do. Where are we, exactly?"
"You're on board my ship."
Ah. There was a flicker there, a tiny moment when something twitched under the eye of Richard's Glare opponent.
"By 'ship', you don't mean 'boat'," Richard said, flatly, as he finally turned back to the conversation. The group exchanged a glance before looking back.
"No." The leader seemed to be considering something for a moment. "My name is Tarrant, and this is the Liberator."
"A spaceship," the pale armed man added, helpfully. Jackie hesitated, then coughed lightly.
"Spaceship. As in… the final frontier? With stars? And…er… stuff…" she trailed off, her mind spinning. A spaceship. An actual spaceship. Darek is going to be so jealous. But, as far as she could remember, Muggle spaceships weren't like this, were they? She gave a small laugh.
"I…thought spaceships had only got to the moon? So you're -" oh hell, what's that word? " - er… astronuts?"
Yet another shared glance. The leader - Tarrant - turned back first. When he spoke, his tone had distinct overtones of talking to slightly stupid children, and Jackie noticed Richard shoot him a small Glare.
"Where are you from?"
"Honestly?" Jackie hesitated. She looked around, taking in the strange consoles, unfamiliar weapons, the incredibly artificial slickness of their general surroundings and a large transparent box of lights on the table, that was giving off the distinct impression that it was watching them. She shook her head.
For some insane reason, she had to resist the urge to giggle.
"Well, we're not in Kansas anymore, that's for damn sure," she muttered. Tarrant looked hard at her again, the hint of a frown creasing his features, before he stepped aside and indicated one of the exits with a flick of the nearly-wand.
"You'd better come with us. But don't try anything."
Jackie looked around again, and laughed quietly, shaking her head.
"Believe me, we wouldn't even know where to start."
I still swear that box is watching me.
The request was Richard and Avon. I don't think she asked for Richard/Avon, and alas, I did not write it :P
Because this is me, if I ever get bored enough to write more crack!chapters, this will have several.
Yes, I also wanted to see if I could make a slighlty insane crossover work at all.
Title: Crossing Over: A Sue's Story AU.
Fandoms: Harry Potter (A Sue's Story cast) / Blakes7
Warnings: Er... pyrotechnics?
Chapter 1: Somewhere over the plothole.
"Richard! Get back here!"
The yell failed in its desired effect - although did succeed impressively well in attracting the surprised attention of every other diner in the restaurant, as the angry woman leapt to her feet and hollered. The regular clientele of Gerádes were unused to highly vocal redheads yelling over their heads, and the air of surprise was palpable. None of this made any difference to the path of the door as it swung shut, behind the disappearing dark figure that seemed to be focus of the woman's annoyance. She gave a low snarl of frustration, tossed a few notes onto the table and snatched up her coat, pulling it on as she hurried towards the door with an apologetic nod to the nearby waiter. The door swung smoothly shut behind her, and the diners of Gerádes went back to their meals, shaking their heads. Public domestics were so embarrassing.
Jackie pulled her coat tight around her against the chill air, her boots clicking on the wet pavement as she ran after Richard's vanishing form. He was doing his blending-into-the shadows thing again, and most people would quickly have lost the dark figure as he slid into the night. She was not about to be lost that easily; she needed to yell at him first.
"Wait up," she muttered and increased her pace, until she finally drew level with the striding man, and clamped a hand on his arm, dragging him round so she could glare at him. "What the hell d'you think you're going? The starters weren't that bad."
Brown eyes gleamed in the dim light as Richard shook off her hand and nodded into the shadows across the street.
"I felt something."
Jackie let out an irritated sigh.
"Richard, I brought you out for a meal precisely so you'd forget about being on duty. Just for a few hours! The whole system won't collapse if you're not swooping around it like an overgrown crow. If there's anything going on, the five teams back at the Terrace will handle it."
Richard held her stare for a moment, and then the ghost of a smile reached his lips.
"You worry about me too much."
"Someone has to." Jackie returned the smile and shivered. "You need to wind down occasionally, y'know. I have reports you were actually seen attempting coffee earlier this week, and if that's not a sign of impending collapse, I don't know what is." She caught his arm again. "C'mon, they might still let us back in."
Richard looked down at her arm.
"Maybe you're right," he said, rubbing his forehead, "maybe I could use a break. But I can't just leave it." He turned and strode off again, leaving Jackie huddled in her coat. She glared at his retreating back, shivered and stamped round in a chilly circle for a second, watching her breath condense in the air. Then she hurried after him, swearing mistily into the night.
By the time she caught up, they were moving down a tree-lined path leading through the centre of a small piece of parkland, hemmed in by houses on either side, and lit only by a few weak Muggle streetlamps. Jackie hunched herself up, contriving to radiate as much annoyance as possible without speaking. Richard, for his part, ignored her, his attention fixed on something inside his head. After a few minutes of walking, and as the grass was returning to concrete via an intermediate stage of scuffed carpark, Richard swung out an arm and caught Jackie, pressing a finger to his lips as he did so. Silently, they moved over into the cover of a nearby Volvo and crouched behind it, looking out over the silent carpark.
At least, Richard was. Jackie leant back against the car and folded her arms.
"There's nothing here. False alarm. Come on, there's a fairly decent pub two roads down, we can at least get a dr-"
"Sssh!" Richard held up a hand, his eyes narrowing, and Jackie stopped. Caution overriding her irritation, she carefully eased herself around until she was peering out over the bonnet. There was a figure there, emerging from the darkness on the opposite side of the carpark with a strange gait. Yellow light glittered, and beside her Jackie felt Richard tense up as the figure came closer, edging into a patch of brighter light…
Then Jackie burst out laughing as the tramp lurched into view, swinging a glass bottle that caught the amber beam of the streetlamp. The man looked up, startled, and turned, muttering as he lurched back into the shadows. Jackie pressed down the rest of her sniggers, as Richard very distinctly didn't look at her.
"Well, either your senses are a bit off right not, or we are facing a new and terrifying variety of Sues," Jackie couldn't get an edge of giggle out of her voice as she leaned over and patted Richard on the arm. "Hey, crack a smile. Look on the bright side - it's only me here. Luce'd be on you for weeks for this. But you see what I mean about overdoing it?"
Finally Richard conceded something that might have been a slight grin. He sighed and relaxed again, sliding his spork back into its holster.
"Alright. I could've sworn…" he trailed off at a warning glance from Jackie. "Fine. You win. I am at your disposal," he held out his hands to the sides, slightly theatrically. Jackie grinned and caught an arm, dragging it around hers.
"About time. Now, if I remember right, the Swan's got a damn fine selection on tap, even you'd be able to find something you'll drink." She manoeuvred him around and began marching back down the path. "Even light ale, if you feel so inclined…" She stopped, through little choice of her own. Richard had come to a dead halt, and was staring forwards intently.
"Speaking of light…" he said slowly "…does it seem like the streetlamps just got a lot brighter to you too?"
They turned.
The car park was still empty, but it was suddenly anything but dark. Light was condensing out of the air like mist, brightening as tiny motes of gold began to glitter above the worn concrete. Jackie felt the hair on her neck standing on end and took a step back, her hand going automatically to her waist, and she cursed internally as her fingers brushed her half-empty holster. She hadn't been expecting trouble of the spork-worthy kind. Still, a wand hardly left her defenceless.
Both Jackie and Richard drew their wands at the same time, him spinning his reflexively around his fingers.
"What're we dealing with here?" Jackie asked quietly as she moved aside, putting enough distance between herself and Richard for them to count as separate targets. He shook his head, and pressed the tip of a finger to his tight lips. Jackie took the order and fell silent, focusing instead on preparations. Her coat dropped to the ground behind her with a soft, leathery sound, and she quickly cast a few warming charms on her exposed arms. Going Muggle for the evening had meant she felt a lot more incognito, but needs must, of course, and she'd prefer to be warm as she tried to figure this one out.
Abruptly, as if reacting to their stares, the light-show changed. The tiny specks of gold whirled up as if caught by wind, rapidly forming into a tight, spinning ball. Jackie almost jumped as a small thunderclap rang out, and thin threads of lightning began crackling out from the ball, discharging themselves into the ground and raising puffs of dust at each impact. The frequency, and apparent strength of impacts increased, until suddenly eight bolts crackled free in all directions, tracing the points of an octagon in the air. And stopped. Jackie blinked, and glanced quickly at Richard to make sure she wasn't seeing things. The grim set of his jaw assured her that she wasn't, and she turned back.
Somehow, the strangest thing was the silence. No thunder, no electric crackle, not even a hint of Influence whispering. Silence. The strange thing just hung in the air, gold sphere shimmering gently, and its eight pieces of frozen gold looking for all the world as if there were glued to the backdrop. Richard gave a small nod to her and then crept forward, stalking cautiously around the edge of the car park, Jackie mirroring his movements on the other side. They met again and shared a perplexed eyebrow raise.
"Well, this is different."
Richard opened his mouth to reply, then stopped. Wordlessly, they both turned, both raising weapons defensively, as the world changed. Jackie barely had time to shield her eyes before the lightning flexed, the tips gripping impossibly at the air as the threads contracted, dragging the edges of the golden sphere up towards them. The air… no, the view around the advancing edge curled back like folding material, the warped space making Jackie's eyeballs ache just to look at it, and fresh brightness spilled across the cracked ground. It had to be light, but it didn't behave like it - visibly pouring out of the widening, gold-edged hole like something liquid and shedding bizarre shadows as it flowed forwards. The air thickened where it touched, the view distorted like through water -
And then the Influence began to rise. Richard gave a low snarl as the greasy whispering started and he straightened up, in the same moment as fog began pouring from the door-sized hole.
"Incarnation," he growled, although there was a faint edge of puzzlement to his voice, "but I've never…" He trailed off as the fog fountained upwards, the faint golden glow of eyes starting to open as the shape of the Sue began coalescing out of itself.
Jackie was never sure exactly why she reacted as she did next. Maybe it was something as simple as surprise, or perhaps the wine in Gerades had been a bit stronger than she'd been prepared for. Maybe not. Whatever the trigger, she found her gaze swing up to the top thread of frozen lightning, its tip hooked into the world like snagged fabric. Without thinking she swung her wand up and, jokingly, muttered the words of a disentangling charm.
She'd never expected it might work.
Accompanied by a very bizarre set of harmonics - which, somehow, still managed to have distinct overtones of 'ping' - the lightning lost its grip on the air and crackled back down its own path, the folded reality unfurling behind it as the stretched hole began to lose its shape. Jackie stared in amazement as the next two threads of lightning began to bow, the air stretching around their tips and the hole began to warp like a deflating balloon.
The Sue noticed what was happening in the same moment it noticed Richard advancing on it. There wasn't enough face yet to register an expression, but the slits of eyes did manage to narrow. Richard brought his spork up as the misty shape flew at him, ducking under a foggy arm as it swung at him, and lunged.
-ping-
-ping-
Jackie saw the movement first, but there wasn't even time to cry out as the next two bolts came loose and the whole area lurched, a shudder running through the ground, scattering bits of debris and knocking both humans off balance. This time though, the jagged threads didn't simply collapse, but swung out, leaving scored trails in the air behind them. One snagged onto a lump of broken concrete, convulsing for a moment before it crackled back into the shaking golden hole, dragging the lump behind it. The other snagged the Sue directly between the eyes. The Influence screamed as the bolt convulsed and foggy hands formed to scrabble at the thread, the Sue's eyes widening as it was dragged backwards, frantic tendrils sweeping the ground for purchase, to no avail.
Jackie scrambled back onto her feet and glanced round, seeing Richard pulling himself upright with a look of astonishment on his face. She hurried over and grabbed his arm, pulling him backwards.
"Leg it?" she muttered, but Richard shook her off and glared at her.
"What did you do?" he hissed. Jackie shrugged frantically.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time! Come on - "
-ping-
On the opposite side of the carpark, an ear-splitting alarm trill broke out as the battered Volvo was wrenched into the air and sucked into the hole, fitting through a space a third of its size with another moment of eye-watering uncertainty. Richard cursed and shoved Jackie back so hard she stumbled.
"Get back. Hopefully that thing'll close when it - "
-ping-
The next few moments seemed to be happening in slow motion. Jackie saw the fifth strand break loose and whip towards them too fast to dodge. She saw Richard's eyes widen, his lips parting in a wordless yell as his cloak swirled in front of her and his arm shot out, light flaring at the wand tip, and then her vision vanished into darkness. It took a few rapid heartbeats before she realised her face was full of cloak, and swept it aside. Well, they still seemed to be standing, which was a good sign.
"If your reflexes were any sharper you'd cut yourself with them," she muttered, and laid a hand on Richard's shoulder. "C'mon, let's get out of here before something really goes wrong."
"No," Richard muttered, his voice strained and quite clearly coming out past clenched teeth.
"What?" Jackie blinked and swung herself round so she could see her friend's face. "Now you want to stay…"
"I can't let go."
The lightning hadn't missed. Richard's arm was outstretched, his wand clamped in an iron grip, with the jagged gold streaming into the tip of the wood. Tiny traces of energy were crackling around his hand and advancing down his arm, which was starting to shake.
"Shit." Jackie brought her own wand up, but Richard shot a glare at her. He was very pale.
"No! Don't touch it."
"What, I'm supposed to leave you lassoed to a hole in reality?" she snapped. Richard shook his head, gritting his teeth. Sweat was beading across his forehead.
"Get my - " he grunted, as the smaller threads passed his elbow. " - spork. This sure as hell…isn't canon."
Jackie nodded and pulled his cloak back, searching the dark folds for his holster. How the hell did he ever find anything in here? It was like frisking a collapsed tent. After what seemed like an age, her fingers closed on cold metal and she yanked the spork loose. It glinted in the strange light as she brought it round.
"Alright, I -"
-ping-
The time, Jackie managed to duck as the bolt shot through the air where her head had been a moment before. Unfortunately, this brought her into contact with Richard's arm. Pain crackled up her arm as the traceries around his elbow flared and she yelped, her own arm convulsing, and the spork dropped from her fingertips.
-ping-
"Thank you, Narrative Causality," Richard growled as the seventh bolt snagged the spork expertly out of the air and sent the gleaming shape plunging back into the shuddering hole, which was a very odd shape now, and held up only by the last lightning thread, the air around its tip warped and straining. Richard gave another grunt as the energy surged further up his arm, dancing around his shoulder. He started to slide forwards, his feet dragging across the floor even as he tried to pull back. Out of other options, Jackie flung her arms around his waist and added her own strength to his resistance. It did little good and they continued inching forwards.
"Get back to… ugh, Merlin, I think my arm's about to come off ... Field," he said, his face contorted with effort. "You know where the sporks are."
"I'm not leaving you," Jackie snapped and tried to pull harder. "There's only one left." She stopped, a cold bit of realisation rising. The seventh bolt had taken the spork… but she hadn't seen the sixth one return yet…
She turned round. Her heart skipped a few more beats as she realised that not all of the background creaking noise was coming from the concrete Richard was bracing himself on.
"Tree," she muttered, urgently, "Tree!"
-ping-
The eighth bolt whizzed over her head, hitting home, and the big sycamore's roots finally tore loose, showering soil and surprised invertebrates as it rose into the air and ploughed towards them, smashing aside cars like toys as it did so.
Well, shit.
She couldn't have dodged, even if she'd wanted to.
On the other hand, she didn't have chance to worry about it. Richard's legs finally gave out and the bolt contracted violently, yanking both figures off their feet and towards the blazing hole, Jackie's arms still wrapped tightly around Richard's waist. Behind them the sycamore loomed, its trailing branches tearing up the ground, showering debris.
Then they plunged through the rip in the world, and the universe dissolved into brilliance, light, and the final echoes of Jackie swearing. The tree slammed in behind them, twisting strangely as it folded past the shrinking hole, which held for a moment as the last leaf was swallowed, before collapsing with a final thunderclap.
***
"Ouch."
Consciousness slowly filtered back into Jackie's mind, bringing with it a very confused set of images. There had been a tree, then flying, then something like a brilliant tunnel and a mass of… knotted string? No, that couldn't be right, surely…
By that point, enough of her had woken up for the realisation that she still seemed to be alive to dawn, and for various body parts to start demanding that she do something about it. She ached all over, but the directions of all the signals indicated that she still had all the limbs she'd started with, which was probably a good sign.
"Geg ovf mh fafhe."
Since that wasn't a normal sound for her stomach to be making, Jackie's eyes snapped open and she rolled aside before sitting up and looking round. Relief her hit as she focused on Richard glaring up at her, slightly squashed. She tried a small smile.
"You okay?"
"I'll live," he muttered, and began to examine his wand arm. "Where are we?"
"Dunno. I - "
"Ahem."
They both froze. The cough had been very pointed, and very behind them. The only thing in front of them was a wall of grey panels, none of which were particularly reflective, so they exchanged a glance before turning round.
There was a long moment of silence.
Well, I hadn't expected that.
They were lying in a square alcove, set to the side of a high, very white room. A curved table ran along the opposite wall, covered in dials, buttons and screens, with a large grey packing case perched on the end. Two archways lead off the main room, opening into equally white corridors that curved sharply away, but there didn't appear to be any windows. There was a group of four people, however, who were all watching them with various expressions of suspicion.
Jackie tried not to stare, but it was a bit tricky not to. It was certainly a mixed group. Three men - all armed with what looked remarkably like oversized white wands with bulky handgrips - and a woman, young, dark, and subjecting them to a very searching look. The closest man was tall and faintly athletic, his youngish face crowned with curls - and had a very measured curiosity in his eyes. His general air indicated some measure of leadership, and out of the corner of her eye Jackie could see Richard making the same appraisal. The other two men flanked him, contrasting each other impressively. One was pale, and stood a little back, an edge of nervousness overlaying his stance. As for the third man…
Richard's attention had reached him now, and Jackie almost thought she heard a clang as the two gazes locked. To any normal observer, neither man's expression moved, but Jackie noticed a tiny identical twitch, the same slight narrowing of the eyes reflected on both faces. He wasn't the largest of the group, and she'd already identified the apparent leader, but this one was the most controlled. His features were difficult to describe, and Jackie suspected that mood would dictate if they seemed handsome or demonic, but it was the eyes that drew her attention.
She knew that kind of stare.
This could be interesting.
He did appear to be wearing an outfit made of a dismembered red leather sofa, however, but considering Jackie's usual companions' default appearance, she wasn't going to criticise fashion sense this early. Plus, he was wielding the strange weapon with a distinct air of competence, so manners would probably be something to bear in mind.
Richard didn't seem to be about to say anything, so Jackie tried a slight smile, aimed at the apparent leader.
"Standing up won't be viewed as aggression, right? Because my leg is going to sleep."
The man looked hard at her for a moment, then nodded. Jackie flashed a proper smile, and jammed an elbow into Richard's side, finally breaking his staring contest. They stood up carefully, and the weapons remained trained on them. The leader nodded.
"Are you armed?"
"No," Jackie answered. The third man jerked his head towards the thin shape of Richard's wand, which was lying on the floor at the other end of the alcove.
"And that is?" His voice was very measured. Richard met the stare again, with just a hint of tightness about his lips.
"A magic wand," he said levelly.
"Indeed." The man didn't even blink, but his nervous companion gave Richard a quizzical glance. Muggles, then, Jackie noted. She looked back at the leader.
"Rather abrupt, I know, but can I ask who you are?"
There. Another puzzled look, and the leader regarded her again. Jackie returned the curiosity, trying to read something into his attitude. There was a hint of military, but nothing else she could determine.
"I could ask you the same thing." A lighter tone crept into his voice, but his weapon stayed steady.
"Ask away." Jackie smiled again, in what she hoped was a disarming kind of way. "I'm Jackie. Tall, dark, and sullen over there is Richard. Now you have me at a disadvantage, Mr…?"
He was apparently sharper than that, and answered with another question.
"How did you get onboard? You don't have teleport bracelets."
Teleport bracelets? Jackie didn't bother to keep the surprise off her face.
"Er… I'm not sure. There was a lot of light, and then we woke up here. Sorry, but that's the best I can do. Where are we, exactly?"
"You're on board my ship."
Ah. There was a flicker there, a tiny moment when something twitched under the eye of Richard's Glare opponent.
"By 'ship', you don't mean 'boat'," Richard said, flatly, as he finally turned back to the conversation. The group exchanged a glance before looking back.
"No." The leader seemed to be considering something for a moment. "My name is Tarrant, and this is the Liberator."
"A spaceship," the pale armed man added, helpfully. Jackie hesitated, then coughed lightly.
"Spaceship. As in… the final frontier? With stars? And…er… stuff…" she trailed off, her mind spinning. A spaceship. An actual spaceship. Darek is going to be so jealous. But, as far as she could remember, Muggle spaceships weren't like this, were they? She gave a small laugh.
"I…thought spaceships had only got to the moon? So you're -" oh hell, what's that word? " - er… astronuts?"
Yet another shared glance. The leader - Tarrant - turned back first. When he spoke, his tone had distinct overtones of talking to slightly stupid children, and Jackie noticed Richard shoot him a small Glare.
"Where are you from?"
"Honestly?" Jackie hesitated. She looked around, taking in the strange consoles, unfamiliar weapons, the incredibly artificial slickness of their general surroundings and a large transparent box of lights on the table, that was giving off the distinct impression that it was watching them. She shook her head.
For some insane reason, she had to resist the urge to giggle.
"Well, we're not in Kansas anymore, that's for damn sure," she muttered. Tarrant looked hard at her again, the hint of a frown creasing his features, before he stepped aside and indicated one of the exits with a flick of the nearly-wand.
"You'd better come with us. But don't try anything."
Jackie looked around again, and laughed quietly, shaking her head.
"Believe me, we wouldn't even know where to start."
I still swear that box is watching me.