angry
ive been angry for the last few weeks.
its funny because im normally never just angry.
well who can blame me? im not in a good spot. i need same change. wow.
i need it.
so when the quarter is over my room is getting a make over.
its about time
i need a lot of change.
i need myself to change.
im sick of me and my ways.
why cant i be who i want to myself to be?
why am i holding myself back? but from what?
*sigh* until then ill just be sitting in cafe ladro sneaking peeks at the cute barista.
the dudes that work here are pretty cute.
why am i so obsessed with boys? do i really want a boyfriend that bad?
i guess. i just want someone to care about me.
im sick of caring about myself. so i need someone else to tell me in good enough?
maybe, im too hard on myself. its always about me and my downfalls.
what have i messed up lately? nothing, i just need to do better, always.
but where does it get me? ANGRY.
yay. thats one feeling i dont get often.
normally im just depressed or sad. angry angry. grrrr. oh welllll.
maybe it will pass when finals are over.
if i can finish them. im starting to doubt im ability to do well enough in school.
i really want good grades this quarter but im starting to see that i may not be able to do everything i want to in order to do as well as i want.
my priorities are screwed up. i need emotional stability so i used others. damn. i suck. then i get attached.
well eric called it off yesterday. im just happy hes mature enough to call and talk about it. wow. as stupid as i am when it comes to dating older dudes (and immature) they treat my feelings with respect for once. wow. i may not be right for them, but they sure make me feel better.
how wonderful. i cant even express my gratitude towards eric for even talking it out. man. thats a first. and why is it over? haha. i need to hold on to him. well, it didnt click. it was merely just attraction- and my stupidity and frustration. typical. blame it on me. well he didnt. but he said he just didnt feel it. and thank you for using your words and being straight up with me. so appreciated! ugh. wow, now i can just move on and not be toyed with. i may be later but not by him. so great.! im not all caught up in the emotional (does he like me blah blah). that was a good experience. thank you eric. after i thought you were an asshole you turned out the be the nicest one of them all. :)
i will miss you if i dont see you again. youre a wonderful and interesting person. i hope you find what youre looking for.
im hopeless.
its funny because im normally never just angry.
well who can blame me? im not in a good spot. i need same change. wow.
i need it.
so when the quarter is over my room is getting a make over.
its about time
i need a lot of change.
i need myself to change.
im sick of me and my ways.
why cant i be who i want to myself to be?
why am i holding myself back? but from what?
*sigh* until then ill just be sitting in cafe ladro sneaking peeks at the cute barista.
the dudes that work here are pretty cute.
why am i so obsessed with boys? do i really want a boyfriend that bad?
i guess. i just want someone to care about me.
im sick of caring about myself. so i need someone else to tell me in good enough?
maybe, im too hard on myself. its always about me and my downfalls.
what have i messed up lately? nothing, i just need to do better, always.
but where does it get me? ANGRY.
yay. thats one feeling i dont get often.
normally im just depressed or sad. angry angry. grrrr. oh welllll.
maybe it will pass when finals are over.
if i can finish them. im starting to doubt im ability to do well enough in school.
i really want good grades this quarter but im starting to see that i may not be able to do everything i want to in order to do as well as i want.
my priorities are screwed up. i need emotional stability so i used others. damn. i suck. then i get attached.
well eric called it off yesterday. im just happy hes mature enough to call and talk about it. wow. as stupid as i am when it comes to dating older dudes (and immature) they treat my feelings with respect for once. wow. i may not be right for them, but they sure make me feel better.
how wonderful. i cant even express my gratitude towards eric for even talking it out. man. thats a first. and why is it over? haha. i need to hold on to him. well, it didnt click. it was merely just attraction- and my stupidity and frustration. typical. blame it on me. well he didnt. but he said he just didnt feel it. and thank you for using your words and being straight up with me. so appreciated! ugh. wow, now i can just move on and not be toyed with. i may be later but not by him. so great.! im not all caught up in the emotional (does he like me blah blah). that was a good experience. thank you eric. after i thought you were an asshole you turned out the be the nicest one of them all. :)
i will miss you if i dont see you again. youre a wonderful and interesting person. i hope you find what youre looking for.
im hopeless.