(no subject)
I woke up this morning to a freaked out Nikki. If you've ever awoken to this phenomenon, you know that it is one of the worst ways to wake up. Luckily she wasn't disoriented or out-and-out pissed off, otherwise I might have just said forget this and went back to bed. I thought I'd hit the snooze button, but when I woke up at 7am to discover that was not the case, I was less than happy. Then I found that none of the paperwork I was working on last night got done and none of the emails that I needed to send, particularly the ones that attach documents from my personal computer, went out and my computer was slow to respond to my commands. At this point I went into full on frantic mode, turned off the computer without closing any of the screens, quickly donned clothing, wished I had toothpaste in my bag, threw the laptop into my satchel, and ran out the door. Then I realized I still haven't heard from my boyfriend since Wednesday. This worries me to no end. I picture him slumped in the bathtub, wrists slit, blood dripping on the white tile from his finger tips. It's always the same image, every morning, before I hear from him. To be honest I'm a little surprised that I don't have more nightmares about it, but I guess since my conscious mind worries about it so much the subconscious doesn't need to suss it out. It's a surprise that the little mac didn't go flying through my beautiful juliet-balcony style, floor to ceiling windows. There must be something about my mood that seeps through my pores and plays on my face, because people have been giving me ample room this morning. On the bus I had open seats on either side, walking down the street people gave me at least a foot birth on either side.
After work, I'm buying shoes, taking a bath, and going to bed. I really think it's for the best.
After work, I'm buying shoes, taking a bath, and going to bed. I really think it's for the best.