The past 24 hours has been interesting.

[l33t_h4x0r]

 After I got off of work, I showed a co-worker to the cigar stores in New West, his friend had a son and he wanted to buy him a cigar. I had originally thought about staying out and going to the gym, but realized that I hadn't packed adequately. So I went home.

I saw my friend I'd been fighting with today. I was surprised he suddenly decided he was

Comments

[l33t_h4x0r]

I am a sex addict. I make no bones about it. This is all I can do because I need affection so badly. I know it's not the best thing in the world... but I don't know what else to do. I wouldn't be seeing strangers if I just had a couple of regular guys that gave me what I needed. Or, hell, just... one. If it was the right person.
I'm trying really hard. I've started looking for a dom because this isn't cutting it. I need the mental break of submission and I'm not getting it. I can't escape from my own head anymore and I hate being in here ...you have addictions of your own, so please refrain from casting stones on this one.
Just wish me luck finding someone who wants me to worship him with my mouth while he's playing videogames, and bake wearing just an apron. Wish me luck finding someone who will make love to me long and slow and tell me I'm sexy. Wish me luck finding someone who takes me hard enough and deep enough and knows just how I like to be bitten and spanked. Wish me luck finding someone where nothing feels more right than when he holds me close and kisses me softly. I need it. I don't know what the odds are on finding that twice.

[dirkd]

It's certainly not going to be with a stranger on a bus. Or someone who kicks you out after sex with a lame excuse about having to pick up his room mate (probably more likely his girlfriend).

[l33t_h4x0r]

I know you're right. Anyone I meet this way is unlikely to be who I'm looking for, I guess.
I don't know what normal looks like anymore. I tried to trade one addiction for another. I tried to find something similar to what I lost, but it was a miserable failure.
I wish we did more than just hurt each-other all the time. I love you so deeply it burns me inside out. It seems like whenever we take a step towards making things right it's just two steps backwards straight after. You react strongly to me hurting myself, but never about the things I wish you would.
I'll chemically castrate myself if that's what you want. It's not like using sex in place of physical affection and your smile has really worked anyway. I just hope I can keep it together after. I'm barely doing so now.

I don't know what else to do.

I know you probably think it doesn't make any difference, but I knew that guy for about three hours before anything happened.