(no subject)
I said 'hey what are you looking at?'
She was a sour girl the day that she left me...
I said 'Hey, what are you looking at?'
She was a happy girl they day that she left me....
What would you do?
What would you do if I followed you?
What would you do if I folllowed...?
The last couple of weeks have been kind of weird.
I miss JP and I wonder if he's getting settled into his new house ok,
or if he's just gone off into such a blue funk that he doesn't want to see anyone....
It's time to move on.... I've carried a torch for him since I was fourteen. I'm not the person he wants anymore.... and it's somewhat likely he's not the person I want anymore, either.
We can't go back...we can only go forward. Logic says it's a step backward to fall in love with someone who doesn't even live on the same continent....again. But I have, anyway.
...He reminds me so much of the way you were, JP. That seems like a bit of a step backwards, too....
But really, the two of you are completely different. The only thing the two of you really have in common is that you both love/d me and want to help me.... and you both inspire some of the same feelings in me.
I'm through with comparisons. The heart of the matter is that it's time to stop torturing myself with what-ifs. Maybe I'll get to visit Australia some day. Maybe I'll get to go to Wales. I don't know.
My life isn't in a stable place.
The only two constants are myself and that I'm not alone anymore. ... I've gone it alone for so long, and it was what I needed... but...
I don't know anymore.
The blatant truth of the matter is that I'm head over heels for Toby.... or I at the very least want to be. He's gentle, patient, accepting and understanding... also very protective of me and cynical. His clarity is amazing.... he's like the mirror I never look in.
I've come to realize lately that my heart is really divided. I'm tired of the schism. I want to give it all to this person who loves me enough to not even want to ask that of me.
God willing, maybe some day I'll even be able to.
She was a sour girl the day that she left me...
I said 'Hey, what are you looking at?'
She was a happy girl they day that she left me....
What would you do?
What would you do if I followed you?
What would you do if I folllowed...?
The last couple of weeks have been kind of weird.
I miss JP and I wonder if he's getting settled into his new house ok,
or if he's just gone off into such a blue funk that he doesn't want to see anyone....
It's time to move on.... I've carried a torch for him since I was fourteen. I'm not the person he wants anymore.... and it's somewhat likely he's not the person I want anymore, either.
We can't go back...we can only go forward. Logic says it's a step backward to fall in love with someone who doesn't even live on the same continent....again. But I have, anyway.
...He reminds me so much of the way you were, JP. That seems like a bit of a step backwards, too....
But really, the two of you are completely different. The only thing the two of you really have in common is that you both love/d me and want to help me.... and you both inspire some of the same feelings in me.
I'm through with comparisons. The heart of the matter is that it's time to stop torturing myself with what-ifs. Maybe I'll get to visit Australia some day. Maybe I'll get to go to Wales. I don't know.
My life isn't in a stable place.
The only two constants are myself and that I'm not alone anymore. ... I've gone it alone for so long, and it was what I needed... but...
I don't know anymore.
The blatant truth of the matter is that I'm head over heels for Toby.... or I at the very least want to be. He's gentle, patient, accepting and understanding... also very protective of me and cynical. His clarity is amazing.... he's like the mirror I never look in.
I've come to realize lately that my heart is really divided. I'm tired of the schism. I want to give it all to this person who loves me enough to not even want to ask that of me.
God willing, maybe some day I'll even be able to.